Forum angers

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 1:13 PM GMT
    Hey guys,

    Within the past few days, I have noticed a lot of threads in which people get very aggressive towards other members, snap at each other over what seems like little things and less often over major disagreements...

    So I guess my questions are
    : Are you in general so affected by what can be said here that it actually upsets you and requires you to let it all out?

    Do you have the same approach and behavior as here on RJ if you have the guy that annoys at your dinner table as the friend of a friend for instance or in your workplace?

    PS: this is not a critic, just something I noticed, followed by two questions, and that also ain't aimed at anybody in particular...

    Thanks...

    Have a good one

    Seb
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    Dec 16, 2008 1:36 PM GMT
    1) Yes. I don't want to be, but I'm only human. When insults start getting personal or seems to be wholly malicious and unprovoked (e.g. come from someone I haven't even interacted with before) of course it starts to hurt. I'm not a saint either, I lash back... I know I shouldn't, but... *shrugs*

    2) No. The main difference is insults here are between guys who know relatively little about each other and are protected by the anonymity of the internet. I tend to be slow to anger in real life (though when angry, I am quite uncontrollable). In general, when insulted I let it slide off while trying to figure out various reasons why. Most of the times it's just a badly pulled off joke or a misunderstanding. I tend to avoid further interaction with that person then unless he apologizes on his own or an explanation comes up for his behavior. People rarely insult other people to their face in real-life situations anyway (at least in our culture).

    I've been part of the drama here the last few days. I'm past it though. I should know better, really. I'm already ordering Thicker SkinĀ®
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Dec 16, 2008 5:41 PM GMT
    Agreed, Sed. I have no problem diving into forum topics of a controversial nature, particularly politics. And I may vehemently disagree with the more conservative members of RJ. But, I try not to attack arguments, not people. Personal attacks are not helpful.

    I have been on the Internet for quite a few years, so I'm familiar with flame wars. I think they're silly, but some people love the drama. I try not to feed into it, even when I feel passionately. Yesterday in a thread about the recent Bush shoe throwing incident, someone I didn't know attacked me for being a "bleeding heart liberal" and "a thumb sucking passivist [sic]." Nice. What is this, the Bill O'Reilly show? But, I kept my cool and argued the guys more obvious misstatement of facts and ignored his personal attacks. But, it's guys like that who ruin it for the rest of us.

    I don't expect everyone to come here with the same point of view. That would be boring. But, hurling insults isn't going to make people ignore your arguments.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 5:57 PM GMT
    Although I have been in some heated topics and exchanged some very opinionated views, I have only really been out of hand (getting nasty) with about 3 people on here. One of which I did appologize to. That said, there is nothing wrong with some heat here and there in these forums, it's good to open other people to new and different ideas sometimes, myself included.

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    Dec 16, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    I've also noticed that it is only a few people who like/participate in all that nonsense. Ironically, the same people excuse their behavior and bad manners as "being proud, up front and direct" and "telling it like it is" And the same people usually blame everyone else for the arguing.

    I say, ignore the idiots and let them chew their own feet off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:08 PM GMT
    I have ben guilty of being a nasty, rude, pugnacious prick when discussion gets personal. So, I try to be a better person and only say vile things about these demi-humans to myself and be as pleasant as possible on the forums.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:12 PM GMT
    Why did you ask your question with such a confrontational tone?

    I think you secretly love the flareups.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:27 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX saidWhy did you ask your question with such a confrontational tone?

    I think you secretly love the flareups.


    I sense no confrontational tone, but I do agree that people are much much more brave on here and say things to others that they would never say to another persons face in the "real world".

    I like to think that I come through on the site the same way I really communicate.

    Keep it real!

    Q
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:39 PM GMT
    ................................................
    I'm a fricken man. I've got guts, I stand by my convictions. If people said things I've heard them say in this forum at my dinner table, damn right I'd behave the same way. I'd ask them "why", that is all I've ever done here. It just so happens that some people identify being questioned as confrontational, I can't help that. I NEVER ATTACK PEOPLE. I simply question, funny how it still erupts in this medium. In real life, the same can happen. I almost came to blows the other day with a guy who A. said SpiderMan 3 (see, any topic can get hot) was a good movie and B. said the sandman died at the end.

    OH COME ON! Lemme see, I'm made of sand, I've been turning into puddles and a sand cloud for two whole hours, now, watch me desolve before your very eyes....I'm not getting away, I'm just dying!

    I just asked him why he bought that foolishness and then he took it to a personal level by accusing me of not watching the whole movie. Actually, I did sleep through some of it, but how dare he! Before it got ugly, I told him to aggree to disagree with me, i'm forever the diplomat. Alhough, before he walked out the door, he said "he died," and ran out the door. Damn, platform shoes, I can't run in them.

    But, I gotta agree with XT, flame wars are sorta alluring, especially for newcomers to the site. They don't erupt everyday, but the suspense that one could at any time is alluring, is it not? Sometimes, I stop in just to check for an large plumes of black smoke. My opinion, but I've never lost a flame war and I do so love to smash!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:46 PM GMT
    i have no idea what the o.p. is talking about... flame wars?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:51 PM GMT
    Christian-Louboutin-shoes-Declic.gif

    Neither do I but here is a lovely pair of Christian Laboutin pumps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 6:53 PM GMT
    CaKaCoO said
    XRuggerATX saidWhy did you ask your question with such a confrontational tone?

    I think you secretly love the flareups.


    I sense no confrontational tone, but I do agree that people are much much more brave on here and say things to others that they would never say to another persons face in the "real world".

    I like to think that I come through on the site the same way I really communicate.

    Keep it real!

    Q


    His questions were posed in a very rhetorical tone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 7:13 PM GMT
    OP, if you want us to get it hot for you, just ask.
    .........................................
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 7:24 PM GMT
    seb_ saidHey guys,

    Within the past few days, I have noticed a lot of threads in which people get very aggressive towards other members, snap at each other over what seems like little things and less often over major disagreements...



    You take online conversations waaaaaaaaay too seriously.

    Fag.

    How do ya like that? I just started strife over a little topic. Can you feel my aggression PENETRATE your virgin little eyes?!?!? Are you crying yet? ARE YOU???????icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    The other day, this guy used 'their' on a forum, when he clearly meant 'they're' and, well

    I just wanted to KILL HIM!

    but I just went to the special corner of my basement and banged my head against the wall until the voices went away.

    I'm better now....





    What were the questions?

    Actually, other than being really shy in person, I'm pretty much the same online as I am in person. I ignore posts of little value, knee jerk responses or narrow minded absolutes. I read many of the more thoughtful 'non-manifesto' posts with interest, even if I don't initially agree with someone since they may have a perspective I hadn't considered. There are many here who actually use critical thinking, have cultural knowledge well beyond mine, have life experiences different than mine, and/or are far more educated than I am. It would behoove me not to take in more knowledge offered for free here. I've learned from my own mistakes, so why not learn from others as well.

    I choose to look at the forums as a classroom or observation deck rather than a personal soapbox.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 7:57 PM GMT
    bgcat57 saidThe other day, this guy used 'their' on a forum, when he clearly meant 'they're' and, well

    I just wanted to KILL HIM!

    but I just went to the special corner of my basement and banged my head against the wall until the voices went away.

    I'm better now....

    Southernguy Said

    *YOU WILL GET OVER IT SOME PEOPLE CAN'T SPELL*



    What were the questions?

    Actually, other than being really shy in person, I'm pretty much the same online as I am in person. I ignore posts of little value, knee jerk responses or narrow minded absolutes. I read many of the more thoughtful 'non-manifesto' posts with interest, even if I don't initially agree with someone since they may have a perspective I hadn't considered. There are many here who actually use critical thinking, have cultural knowledge well beyond mine, have life experiences different than mine, and/or are far more educated than I am. It would behoove me not to take in more knowledge offered for free here. I've learned from my own mistakes, so why not learn from others as well.

    I choose to look at the forums as a classroom or observation deck rather than a personal soapbox.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:03 PM GMT
    SouthernGuy said
    *YOU WILL GET OVER IT SOME PEOPLE CAN'T SPELL*



    Wiseass!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:04 PM GMT
    Woman wearing ridiculous outfit (she's British)

    goyard_minceur_star_home.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:10 PM GMT
    It's unfortunate that certain people can't disagree without becoming disagreeable.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:11 PM GMT
    seb_ saidHey guys,

    Within the past few days, I have noticed a lot of threads in which people get very aggressive towards other members, snap at each other over what seems like little things and less often over major disagreements...

    So I guess my questions are
    : Are you in general so affected by what can be said here that it actually upsets you and requires you to let it all out?

    Do you have the same approach and behavior as here on RJ if you have the guy that annoys at your dinner table as the friend of a friend for instance or in your workplace?

    PS: this is not a critic, just something I noticed, followed by two questions, and that also ain't aimed at anybody in particular...

    Thanks...

    Have a good one

    Seb


    People at the dinner table or at work are far more reasonable and intelligent then what I have seen posted on some RJ forums, so I never have to lose my temper. Fortunately the majority of RJ members have two neurons to rub together so overall the forums are pretty enlightening (the g0y forum topics are the exception).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    bgcat57 saidThe other day, this guy used 'their' on a forum, when he clearly meant 'they're' and, well

    I just wanted to KILL HIM!

    but I just went to the special corner of my basement and banged my head against the wall until the voices went away.

    I'm better now....


    Awwww, was that me?
    I"m crap at spelling, its never been my strong point.. but still, you can try to rough me up a little... I wont mind ;) icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:28 PM GMT
    Tank, you are such an obviously intelligent guy - if you are crap at spelling why not use spell check?

    The only way people can understand you online is by what you say and by your cute mug.

    It took me about 500 posts to finally get your finely developed style.

    Not being grammar girl here (obviously cuz that is a fragment). It is just a question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:31 PM GMT
    Grammar girl or ...

    Glamour Girl?


    ursaswan.jpg

    (im sorry i can't help myself)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:36 PM GMT

    Damn, Ursa, your waist is looking tiny.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    The drama and flame warring is no different than the drama in high school or the bars I've worked at, IMHO. Sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I lash out, sometimes I do an in between. There's nothing wrong with letting people know they've crossed that boundary with you.