How do you guys feel when all your peers start getting married/having kids and you're still single?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    Most the kids I went to high school with are in LTRs, some are married and many more have children.


    Is it like this in your lives as well?

    How does everyone around you starting to get married and have children make you feel as a single gay man?
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    Jan 29, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    I've noticed women tend to follow the herd; cliques of friends seem to get engaged, married and pop kids within a year of each other. It's downright competitive. As gay men we feel like the odd friend out who decided to focus on her career and/or have fun first. No biggie. But wait till you're older and guys young enough to be your friend's kids are trying to pick you up and those friends are on their second divorces.
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    Jan 29, 2014 2:15 AM GMT
    It's a mixed feeling for me, I wasted most of my twenties by not being out, so I'm getting a late start even dating, but I'm in no hurry to get married. It just concerns me that I might be too old to start a family by the time I find the right guy.
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    Jan 29, 2014 2:15 AM GMT
    Youngun said
    How does everyone around you starting to get married and have children make you feel as a single gay man?

    I felt that pressure. Though I didn't know I was a gay man.

    I just thought I was different somehow, but unsure why it was. I was 26, an Army Lieutenant. and never had a date with a woman, no interest in them. All my fellow Officers were married, I was the only single one. Plus my mother was constantly nagging me about why I wasn't married yet.

    I finally caved to the pressure, my first date at 26. Bad mistake, married as I was turing 29. I think today I would have known better.
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    Jan 29, 2014 2:21 AM GMT
    Of course they look stressed. I looked stressed when my kids were small. There's an awful lot of work involved.
    But very very worth it.
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    Jan 29, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    Great. Especially when they're all fat, wrinkled and tired and they look at you and say "You look soooo good!"
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 29, 2014 3:29 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidBut wait till you're older and guys young enough to be your friend's kids are trying to pick you up and those friends are on their second divorces.


    I love old-people fantasies rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 29, 2014 3:36 AM GMT
    whytehot said
    eagermuscle saidBut wait till you're older and guys young enough to be your friend's kids are trying to pick you up and those friends are on their second divorces.


    I love old-people fantasies rolleyes.gif

    On phone apps out in the 'burbs the kids don't care. Trust me, I couldn't believe it either. I was freaked out when one told me his major.
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    Jan 29, 2014 3:38 AM GMT
    When I was single, I didn't covet any of my friends getting married and having children. Once you have a family, your priorities change. For me, I like what I have right now. My only responsibilities are to myself and my bf and that's how I like it.
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    Jan 29, 2014 4:27 AM GMT
    eagermuscle said
    whytehot said
    eagermuscle saidBut wait till you're older and guys young enough to be your friend's kids are trying to pick you up .


    I love old-people fantasies rolleyes.gif

    On phone apps out in the 'burbs the kids don't care. Trust me, I couldn't believe it either. I was freaked out when one told me his major.


    Yep. My new reason for not playing close to home. This town (and I include all the surrounding little towns) is too small. It has actually happened to me. Fortunately I recognized him before he recognized me. I think. icon_redface.gif Maybe.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2014 4:43 AM GMT
    Most of the time I enjoy the freedom of singleness. It hits me when I'm invited to weddings, baby showers, etc. Being in the closet makes it hard as I can't really get into a relationship either.

    But I think I'm doing alright most of the time. icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 29, 2014 4:45 AM GMT
    i2ci2i said35 is when I'll have babies, I want to live first and find myself before I have children, people shouldn't have children in their 20s, they barely know themselves by that point.

    I've been out on my own since I was 16. Believe me, I knew myself by 25, which is when my son was born.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 29, 2014 6:24 AM GMT
    I just kept making new friends and hanging with new people. Lately I've been too tired, too experienced, too wise, and too content to move on to anymore new friends.
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    Jan 29, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    Youngun saidHow does everyone around you starting to get married and have children make you feel as a single gay man?



    This was a bit of a problem for me back in my late 20's and early 30's. I learned that it is normal for married buddies to have less time for us than before. It stung and bothered me, until I started concentrating on single friends and let the married ones go spend time with their spouses. Single guys (straight & gay) were more my style.
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    Jan 29, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    condom_king saidIt's a mixed feeling for me, I wasted most of my twenties by not being out, so I'm getting a late start even dating, but I'm in no hurry to get married. It just concerns me that I might be too old to start a family by the time I find the right guy.


    You're not old you should be fine
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    Jan 29, 2014 7:32 PM GMT
    Lol nope - all but one of my friends are single/dating/co-habitating. Thank Buddha! For he who is getting married it was more fun I might help him move in :-) - I hope it works out for them.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Jan 29, 2014 8:27 PM GMT
    hellass saidGreat. Especially when they're all fat, wrinkled and tired and they look at you and say "You look soooo good!"


    if that's what gets u through the day..... icon_rolleyes.gif

    I have mixed feelings.
    Sometimes, I think to myself "it would be nice to have kids and a traditional family"

    other times I look at my older brother who has two little kids and im like "mother fuck that shit."


    so, I dunno.

    I would wanna have kids, but don't want to raise them on my own. I dont want to go it alone. I was raised by two parents and am grateful for it. I would want my kid to have the same.
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:04 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    i2ci2i said35 is when I'll have babies, I want to live first and find myself before I have children, people shouldn't have children in their 20s, they barely know themselves by that point.

    I've been out on my own since I was 16. Believe me, I knew myself by 25, which is when my son was born.

    My parents had me in their 20s and my grandparents were married as teenagers
    Waiting to get married or have kids is relatively new concept
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:19 PM GMT
    i2ci2i said
    Aristoshark said
    i2ci2i said35 is when I'll have babies, I want to live first and find myself before I have children, people shouldn't have children in their 20s, they barely know themselves by that point.

    I've been out on my own since I was 16. Believe me, I knew myself by 25, which is when my son was born.


    Is that why you identify as a monocle wearing aristocratic shark? icon_confused.gif

    No, I do that because it amuses me.
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    Jan 30, 2014 5:12 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Youngun said
    How does everyone around you starting to get married and have children make you feel as a single gay man?

    I felt that pressure. Though I didn't know I was a gay man.

    I just thought I was different somehow, but unsure why it was. I was 26, an Army Lieutenant. and never had a date with a woman, no interest in them. All my fellow Officers were married, I was the only single one. Plus my mother was constantly nagging me about why I wasn't married yet.

    I finally caved to the pressure, my first date at 26. Bad mistake, married as I was turing 29. I think today I would have known better.


    What would mummy think of her little boy now.icon_redface.gif

    Oh my the confusion of bisexuality. Not being heterosexual or homosexual, yet both. Thank god I was born a Bonafide Homosexual, and never wanted to get married, and was clear about that from a very young age, as I knew without any doubt I loved cock. No matter how people treated me, or looked down on me for being open and truthful about things growen men did not have the balls to do.


    But then I also have freedom and a quality of life many of my married straight mates don't have. Since I don't feel something is missing in my life, I don't need children to fill that hole.
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    Mar 20, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    It's very difficult for me to wrap my head around it.
    It's like the world is enjoying a game that I have no idea how to play.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 20, 2014 9:54 PM GMT
    Youngun saidMost the kids I went to high school with are in LTRs, some are married and many more have children.


    Is it like this in your lives as well?

    How does everyone around you starting to get married and have children make you feel as a single gay man?



    BLESSED.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2014 10:01 PM GMT
    I get jealous when they are living in a nice house they bought with a joint mortgage and I am still living in a flatshare with dicks
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    Mar 20, 2014 10:22 PM GMT
    LionEyes said
    Ohno saidI get jealous when they are living in a nice house they bought with a joint mortgage and I am still living in a flatshare with dicks

    I know!!! So looking forward to live alone in a studio!

    Gee... me too.