How much does the gay dating pool factor into where you live or would want to live.

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    Jan 29, 2014 11:00 PM GMT
    I've lived in a variety of cities from large metro areas with filled with the young and beautiful to small cities. In Europe and in the US. I find dating sucks everywhere. It seems like when there are more choices guys just become pickier. In smaller cities you have far fewer choices but you are more likely to see the guy more than once. In large cities guys can have all the anonymous sex they want through the apps or in sex clubs. In small cities if you can't find love you may have to settle for a friend with benefits or just not get laid.

    There are other factors beyond dating they may effect your choice. Of coarse career is usually near the top but there is also quality of life. Living in a small resort type of town as I do now is the BEST for quality of life but not so good for dating or career aspirations.

    And then there is age to consider. If you are young and handsome you probably prefer cities with significant gay communities to better help you find the love of your life which you probably want to be young and handsome as well. After a certain age though you begin to feel like expired meat on the shelf when it comes to dating.

    Strangely enough I find it is very hard to connect with handsome men my age wherever I am but for some reason I get approached by a lot of 20 somethings. Guys in their 30s and 40s have so many possibilities in a large city that they probably set their search engines to narrow the field and that means no one over or under a certain age. While in a smaller city you kind of have to consider everyone out there. So as strange as this may sound, I find I get approached more on one of those gay apps in a small city then I do in a large one.

    In the end though I think most single gay men of any age would choose a large city over a small one but I'm not sure if it always translates into better dating. My experiences is that having more gay men around can get you laid more often but that is exactly what could get in the way of commitment. What do you think?
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
    I am 19 and was born and raised in Oklahoma, in an area with a laughable gay population (go figure). I still live here, but my standards have not changed any. They are the same wherever I go. When I was in Mexico this past summer, in cities with huge gay populations, my standards were the same.

    When I am in the position to relocate, I will consider the job conditions of that area first and foremost, the culture of the city second, and the gay population third. It really is hit or miss if the guy you are attracted to is interested in commitment, but the thing is, with more attractive guys, the likelihood of meeting one that wants a relationship is higher than in a small town, where guys are likely only interested in hitting it and quitting it.
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:37 PM GMT
    Well I was born in Spain, in the countryside and I can say that men who are born in the country tend to be a lot more different then men who are born in cities. I feel men that were raised in the small country sides are more traditional and old fashioned when it comes to romance then men from the cities. Though I can also attest on the living conditions of living in a city.

    Eventually my family moved to Austin TX which is a very small city, with an adequate amount of gay men since it's basically a college city. With that being said I did meet the love of my life (which I wasn't expecting to at such a young age) but the thing is my partner is also from the countryside from Spain so we meshed really well instantly. We both agree that we had little in common with men that were raised from the cities, It was always men from the countrysides that we got into relationships with.

    Bigger doesn't necessarily have to mean better. While it is true that big cities will foster larger amount of gay men, that doesn't mean the quality of men will be any better.
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:49 PM GMT
    Varus saidWell I was born in Spain, in the countryside and I can say that men who are born in the country tend to be a lot more different then men who are born in cities. I feel men that were raised in the small country sides are more traditional and old fashioned when it comes to romance then men from the cities. Though I can also attest on the living conditions of living in a city.

    Eventually my family moved to Austin TX which is a very small city, with an adequate amount of gay men since it's basically a college city. With that being said I did meet the love of my life (which I wasn't expecting to at such a young age) but the thing is my partner is also from the countryside from Spain so we meshed really well instantly. We both agree that we had little in common with men that were raised from the cities, It was always men from the countrysides that we got into relationships with.

    Bigger doesn't necessarily have to mean better. While it is true that big cities will foster larger amount of gay men, that doesn't mean the quality of men will be any better.


    Austin a very small city? I would call it a mid-size city. Very small is under 50K. Small is 50-150. I would consider Austin a nice medium choice. It has a high quality of life if you can tolerate the heat. Great demographics and still a decent size gay dating pool. I would say it is comparable to Charlotte or RDU here in NC.
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:50 PM GMT
    kiwiLifter saidI always thought how awesome it would be to live on a sailing boat traversing the world - exotic sunny locations - with one or two hot guys on board. icon_cool.gif


    Then what do you do if the guy(s) turn out to be psychopaths who squeal like a pig?
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    Jan 29, 2014 11:53 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet said.......

    another thing that i don't get is how you have guys in new york city out of all places complaining about how hard it is to find a date over there. WTF? that place has like the highest population of gay men in north america. how fucking hard can it be? if you can't get a date in new york or find somebody at least, you're probably just doing it wrong. ....


    I lived in NYC most of my adult life. I found it pretty rough for dating despite how many gay men they had. Most people are too busy, too picky, too caught up in something to really settle down.
  • Suetonius

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    Jan 29, 2014 11:57 PM GMT
    I would certainly want to live in (or immediately adjacent to) a city if I were single.
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    Jan 30, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    Its very important to me. I'd like to share my life with someone ... so having a chance at finding them is key. I don't want to live too far from a decent gay scene.
  • ohioguy12

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    Jan 30, 2014 5:02 AM GMT
    I'm more interested in gay sports leagues and social groups than the actual size of the dating pool.
  • Apparition

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    Jan 30, 2014 7:14 AM GMT
    small town boys living in medium cities now, make the best dates. i have always found big city boys just..immoral is the wrong word...but uncaring...no too easily able to ignore the bad stuff around them and not react to it, because there is a whole lot more bad stuff visible in the big city that you just get used to...that wouldn't happen in a small town.
    But actually living in a small town is too boring as an adult.
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    Feb 03, 2014 11:23 PM GMT
    Apparition saidsmall town boys living in medium cities now, make the best dates. i have always found big city boys just..immoral is the wrong word...but uncaring...no too easily able to ignore the bad stuff around them and not react to it, because there is a whole lot more bad stuff visible in the big city that you just get used to...that wouldn't happen in a small town.
    But actually living in a small town is too boring as an adult.


    But what if the small town has a lot of natural beauty and great outdoor sports? Like what about a cool ski town, or a hip surf town? I am always amazed at how many hunks I find in the small town I'm living in now. I think it is because I spend a lot of time on the water. I see a higher percentage of hunks during the low season than the high season when tourist invade the place. Unfortunately it seems nearly all the hunks I meet are straight.

    I think the danger of cities with large gay populations is that it is easy to get by with a series of anonymous sexual encounters that satisfy a short term hunger but never fulfill a long-term desire. Rather than enjoying the great outdoors, these guys are chasing there next trick. So invariably some will become jaded and cynical while in smaller towns the guys seem more wholesome.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Feb 04, 2014 12:59 AM GMT
    I think it's mixed. It'd be nice to be able to meet a wide range of guys but at the same time, it would feel like everything is moving too fast when you are in the hustle of the big city. I was born in West Covina, California. It's was a pretty quiet place with home-like atmosphere. I now live in Henderson, NV and there doesn't seem to be that many guys. They all are mostly in Vegas.

    In the future if I had the resources, I'd probably try moving to San Fransisco but not for the gay scene entirely but the art and music scene. But damn is it expensive so I don't know. I feel as long as they had a nice art and music scene and a reasonable (doesn't have to be large) gay scene, I'd be satisfied.

    I will agree though with the country boys in a city. Some are oh so sweet and open and it's just cool when two different types of guys get to meet and learn things about each other.