Mayor of San Diego announces support of gay marriage.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 2:46 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 2:47 AM GMT
    A crack in the stone wall in conservative Southern California.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 3:02 AM GMT
    A Republican mayor at that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 3:17 AM GMT
    This is good news. I was going to say in another column that in some ways San Diego seems as conservative (maybe due to the military presence) as some places back east, but yeah a crack in the stone wall is correct.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 3:59 AM GMT
    This could be a coordinated move between Schwarzenegger and San Diego's mayor. The gay marriage amendment proposed by Mark Leno was passed by the state legislature...again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 4:24 AM GMT
    Wow, I just watched that video and it was awesome. I have to say, that I would think any person that is a true patriot and loves liberty and equality could easily see the important of recognizing gay marriage.

    It is good that anyone could apply logic and see that a marriage substitute is a form of second class citizenry, but it it is even better when someone can say "I am straight and love my spouse and cannot deny that right to any adults who love each other."

    I am not even much into ceremonies nor would care for a big marriage myself, but it is an essential right for all people if the government is going to recognize it at all.

    I don't know if people think about the ramifications of the government recognizing marriage, but if say the federal government recognized it, other institutions like the military would have to follow suit. Having many gay friends actively serving it would make me very happy to be able to see them able to continue doing so without hiding the ones they love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 4:34 AM GMT
    Joey, thank you so much for uploading this. Very moving.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 4:34 AM GMT
    Wow! What an amazing speech.
    The raw emotion coming through was really touching - if he can make the transition, anyone can.
  • cacti

    Posts: 273

    Sep 21, 2007 5:06 AM GMT
    Very powerful and inspiring indeed! I can't tell you how much I love that this man is a Republican, too. What made it so touching is the personal struggle that he revealed about his friends and family. Of course the unfortunate political caveat that goes along with his method of revealing his decision is that he has appeared to base his decision on public policy based on his family situation. It would, in fact, be a good argument for opponents to make because politicians always must put their personal lives(family, friends) second. The intermingling of public policy & personal life is just as dangerous as mixing it with religion. I definitely think he made the right decision, and I don't even think it's mis-guided. I'm just afraid he's opened the door pretty wide to criticism because of the way he presented his decision.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 5:51 AM GMT
    I love my city...Can't wait to get back there after school. Although, I confess I'm a bit surprised that it's been passed, it IS a bit more of a conservative county with all the military in the area. Hmm....oh well! No sense in biting the hand that feeds you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 5:59 AM GMT
    It seems like 90% of the youth in Orange County approve of gay marriage, so I am sure that if not in the near future, it will be approved fairly soon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 6:20 AM GMT
    I am glad to see you younger guys (cmon and SoCalAmerican) and your generation paying attention to this. You will be the ones to break down the last barriers and inherit a better future.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 6:38 AM GMT
    That truly was a touching speech. Since I know nothing of California politics on a city to city basis (I just assume it's liberal everywhere and forget that's not really true), I read the title and thought "so what, who didn't expect that?" Now that I know he's a Republican and had previously promised to oppose it, I'm very impressed.

    I just wish that it didn't take having a gay child to change the minds of conservatives. It so often seems that unless the politician has a child that's queer, he or she automatically votes against gay rights. There are the exceptions, of course, such as Wyoming's Dan Zwonitzer who spoke out against an anti-marriage bill in that state, but it still seems like it's going to take time for conservatives to come around.

    Though this will sound morbid, perhaps a generation of old, die-hard conservatives just needs to finally die off or retire for good before the tides really swing.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 21, 2007 6:46 AM GMT
    It is important for gay men to have a right to get married?

    Now this is a little bit long

    Let me tell you a little story about my life.
    After I finish college in Michigan back in 1989, I was having relationship with my manager (I was a Mc Donald crewperson). We are really in love with each other and despite my student visa is about to expired in 3 months I move in and live with him. When the expiration date start to get closer , my live in lover and me, try to find a way on how to prolong my stay in US so that I can remain with him. Something like me furthering studies, living illegally or to married me off to an American women for immigration benefit. He even thinking of locating to my country in order for us to live together.

    Finally , we offer this girl a fellow McDonald crew person to be married to me just so I can acquire the green card to be a permanent resident of United States. Of course , I have to pay her monthly (I wont disclose the amount) for as long as it take for me to get the fucking green card. The immigration laws at that time required any non resident alien to go thru two process before the green card is granted. We have to apply immediately after married , with interview and stuff , for a temporary green card and if the married remain after two year I need to apply again for the permenant card. And if there is a child born between us , a more stronger case for immigration benefit. So me and my wife Mary did get married in some civil court. I get my temporary green card and manage to live with my lover for 2 more years.

    This married for obvious reason was never consumated .(I have some good ideas she is a lesbian).
    She start taking advantage of my situation by consistently asking for money despite me working at minimun wages in a fast food restaurant. Finally she just leave me and our arrangement by moving to Arizona , never to be heard of again. Of course without her I cannot apply for a permanent green card and have no choice but to return home in 1991.

    Eventhough I dont regret what happen and certainly have a much better life here in my country then in United States, but can you imaging how easier our life would have been if I can just legally married my lover ,obtained permenant residency and start a family with him. We were force to broke the law just because we are gay and dont have the same right like other straight couple do.

    Believe it or not , gay people right to get married is important if you really believe in equality and right for all US citizen. I thought equality is what Americans are so proud of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 9:15 AM GMT
    Well, that's a touching story, and I feel for you, but in the end it's "equality when convenient" that is the American way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 11:06 AM GMT
    maybe, just maybe...the gay community should get its own house in order before it gets all excited about "gay marriage"....as an example...Do the str8s go into marriage with the understanding....oh..this is an "open marriage" and we will sleep with other people if we want to but still stay married???? NO...marriage is considered far more committed than that...

    Ive been in PLENTY of discussions with str8 people about Gay marriage....my feelings aside...most think gays arent really serious about the sanctity of marriage because they all open up their relationships anyways...that they will "bastardize" the sanctity of marriage!!

    Case in point...my good friend just had his "live in" partner of five years want to "open" up their relationship....that was the kiss of death to them ...and now they are breaking up...

    Guys/Gays....marriage is far more of a committment between two people than you all are demonstrating with all this "open relationship" stuff...now this doesnt apply to everyone of course...but it does to a majority...

    That concept of "open relationships" needs to get straightened out...no pun intended...before you are truly ready for "marriage"...Im just sayin!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 12:07 PM GMT
    I agree gay men may tend to have different attitudes towards relationships that straights. And there are many reasons for that.

    In some ways it can be a chicken and egg argument, do gay men do what s8t men want to do but don't cause society supports monogamy and that is what is drilled in from day one? Or are gay men exploring even more modern ways of settling down and committing by being "open" and this is where relationships in general are heading as evidenced by both the divorce and simply not-married-but-living-together rates?

    I'm not taking a stand on openness or not, I don't think there is a formula for happiness but I do believe there are wiser patterns and things that tend to set you towards success in what you want more than other ways.

    The one thing that is obvious is that straight people don't take marriage seriously either. Lots of people do it for convenience or try to use it as a "cement." And there are tons of those who think it is the key to their happiness, like marriage is a thing in and of itself to make you happy, rather than the specific person you are with.

    I know guys in the US who would honor marriage, and I think that many gay guys would bring respect to the institution. I hope this beautiful and heartfelt example is seen by as many as possible and changes or at least opens hearts.

    I cried watching the video and it filled me with hope, something we could all use more of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    Gay men have open relationships. Straight men have affairs. Not much of a difference where the "sanctity of marriage" (what a joke) is concerned.

    Gay men have open relationships. Straight men have divorce. Again, not so very diffent where the "sanctity of marriage" (side splitting humor) is concerned.

    Gay men need to stop apologizing to the straight world and keep up the demands for equality, not equality with caveats.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 12:36 PM GMT
    McGay....ive had the benefit of living in both worlds...str8 and gay...and youll have to trust me on this...there is a whole lot more cheating going on in the gay world....and if you truly want "marriage"...that has to be addressed...thats all im saying....gays cannot have their cake and eat it too!!! thats all Im saying...

    of course str8 men and women cheat on each other....DUH....but...what Ive seen going on in the gay world with Open relationships and "lets have sex, just dont tell my partner"...if I had a dime for every offer i got from gay men who were in relationships....

    Marriage is about commitment...the gay community has not demonstrated the understanding of the word in my opinion....there are exceptions..but the majority in my opinion....are ruining it for those few!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 12:59 PM GMT
    Marriage is about commitment, sure, for tha past 50 years only! Marriage was never a about commitment, it was about who it benefits and how much.From getting two powerful families together, to getting money, to saving a name, to covering up for an untimely pregnancy, to doing it cause you are too drunk to remember it. If it was about commitment, half of those who get married wouold not be getting a divorce, but the fact is for every two marriages, one will end in divorce. That some people are committed, sure I dont argue that, but is that the norm, I dont think so. From some one who has been on both side of the fence, the gay and str8 world, there are as much cheating going on in one side as on the other. It was never hard to get a girl going, take her to my place and sure enough she was married. I can not remember the number of times that a girl said she had to get home cause the husband was coming back home from "hanging" with his friends. And I met women who were also in open realtinships with their husbands. So the issue is in both sides. Atleast in an open relationship you know ur mate is fucking around, better than coming home and catching your mate fucking some one on your bed and you not knowing. Or in the st8 world coming home and hearing, honey we are going to have a baby, 9 months later a kid pops up that looks just like ur best friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 1:06 PM GMT
    es2577....that is the funniest justification ive ever heard...

    there are exceptions on both sides of course...

    my point is...from my experience...the cheating and openness is far more prevalent on the gay side and marriage is about committment and I just dont feel gays are truly ready for it yet...I jsut dont....from what Ive observed and experienced first hand...they just arent ready!!!

    Thats my last word on the subject....you will all be happy to hear!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 1:15 PM GMT
    nonsense.

    1 - being married to the opposite sex hardly makes one any more of an expert on marriage to the opposite sex than someone never married to someone of the opposite sex. No, I've never been married, but my entire life has been spent in the company of married straight people. I think you'll have to trust me on this. You're mistaken.

    2 - the number of cheaters or whatever you call them is irrelevant to the discussion. People who marry the opposite sex (despite what happens after the ceremony) are afforded superior rights to those not so inclined yet who have a partner (despite what happens after that partnership begins).

    3 - gay people should do everything but compromise on what we want. Shoot for the moon and when the sky's not looking, steal the fucking stars.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 7:24 PM GMT
    ATL - there are lots of monogamy/open relationship threads already. Would you mind not hijacking this one?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 7:59 PM GMT
    hey PSJOEY...youre problem is you dont see the connection! I feel sorry for you!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 21, 2007 8:39 PM GMT
    NNJ...sorry you dont get it either...