I feel like a horrible person.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    Hey,

    I did something I really regret and I don't know why I did it. Basically, I met a guy and we clicked really well, physically he's 110% my type, his personality is great, he's ambitious and has a good career. Last night, we wanted to go out clubbing so we pre drank at my place and everything went by fine until we went home to his place, basically I was really drunk and when I arrived I told him I was going home and I didn't want to sleep at his place and I didn't want to sleep with him and I basically rejected him although he wanted me to stay. I could have spent a really nice time with him, he makes me happy, I WANT to be with him for a reason I ignore I reject him. This morning I woke up and felt so bad! And now I'm freaking out it's too late to ask for forgiveness. I messaged him to apologize and he just answered "it's cool." What's wrong with me? icon_sad.gifI fee
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    It's called self-control - something many of your fellow RJ compatriots lack. Myself included. I really don't think you should kick yourself over it. If he honestly likes you then he'll respect your decision and see you again. If he doesn't then he was obviously only after one thing.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Feb 01, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    You're not ready to fuck
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:18 AM GMT
    He didn't start crying; ask why you don't like him?
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:25 AM GMT
    Davidolce saidHey,

    I did something I really regret and I don't know why I did it. Basically, I met a guy and we clicked really well, physically he's 110% my type, his personality is great, he's ambitious and has a good career. Last night, we wanted to go out clubbing so we pre drank at my place and everything went by fine until we went home to his place, basically I was really drunk and when I arrived I told him I was going home and I didn't want to sleep at his place and I didn't want to sleep with him and I basically rejected him although he wanted me to stay. I could have spent a really nice time with him, he makes me happy, I WANT to be with him for a reason I ignore I reject him. This morning I woke up and felt so bad! And now I'm freaking out it's too late to ask for forgiveness. I messaged him to apologize and he just answered "it's cool." What's wrong with me? icon_sad.gif

    Speaking from experience on the receiving end of something like this, I would have loved to hear a guy ask for forgiveness and then find a functional way of working things out. There's nothing wrong with wanting to hold off on physical stuff for a while (as Michael said, it's something most people fail to do), but when you also say "for a reason I ignore I reject him," it sounds like games. Games, whether real or imagined on his/my part, suck. Just be honest with him and tell him that you don't get physical right away so you freaked out, but you like him. If you're in a relationship with someone you will have fights and there will be screwups, but you work through those in a relationship, so why would you do anything but work through it in this case if you truly think that he's your type?
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:35 AM GMT
    you did good, if the guy likes you he will be back. but dont apologize, you always act like you know what youre doing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 12:39 AM GMT
    If he's angry at you for saying no, there's nothing you can do about that. You don't have to put out in order to please, you have a right to say no.
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    Feb 01, 2014 1:04 AM GMT
    You need to chill on this one and just call the guy and see if he's still interested or not. If he is, then you may just have a keeper, if not, he's too immature.
    Having kissy face or sex with someone when you're too drunk is truly crappy sex. Save your first time with this guy for a time you're both totally sober. Sex for the first time is best when it has a chance to be memorable.
    You did the right thing, passing on it last night.
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Feb 01, 2014 1:46 AM GMT
    Does everything have to start of drunk? Fucking hell. Sorry. What kind of species are we? A bit of alcohol is good to lighten the mood, but if you are really drunk it doesn't end well.

    Which is why I think you did good. Very good self control. It means you are ready. Think about it. If you lost all your inhibitions and you went for it, would you have regretted it? You would have blamed it on alcohol if it went wrong. It could have gone wrong. He is exactly your type, so that means you don't want to mess up.

    Nothing is wrong with you.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 01, 2014 1:52 AM GMT
    AlanZSky saidDoes everything have to start of drunk?

    Seriously. People do stupid shit when they're drunk and then wonder why their lives are fucked up. icon_rolleyes.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 3:22 AM GMT
    juvenescences said
    Davidolce saidHey,

    I did something I really regret and I don't know why I did it. Basically, I met a guy and we clicked really well, physically he's 110% my type, his personality is great, he's ambitious and has a good career. Last night, we wanted to go out clubbing so we pre drank at my place and everything went by fine until we went home to his place, basically I was really drunk and when I arrived I told him I was going home and I didn't want to sleep at his place and I didn't want to sleep with him and I basically rejected him although he wanted me to stay. I could have spent a really nice time with him, he makes me happy, I WANT to be with him for a reason I ignore I reject him. This morning I woke up and felt so bad! And now I'm freaking out it's too late to ask for forgiveness. I messaged him to apologize and he just answered "it's cool." What's wrong with me? icon_sad.gif

    Speaking from experience on the receiving end of something like this, I would have loved to hear a guy ask for forgiveness and then find a functional way of working things out. There's nothing wrong with wanting to hold off on physical stuff for a while (as Michael said, it's something most people fail to do), but when you also say "for a reason I ignore I reject him," it sounds like games. Games, whether real or imagined on his/my part, suck. Just be honest with him and tell him that you don't get physical right away so you freaked out, but you like him. If you're in a relationship with someone you will have fights and there will be screwups, but you work through those in a relationship, so why would you do anything but work through it in this case if you truly think that he's your type?


    I hope so badly that this is what he wants! I would do anything to go back in time and fix things. I really want to be with him! I rarely have guys like he is and I don't want to lose him...
    The sad thing is that he works part time in Europe so I won't be seeing him this whole week. I feel awful that I can't do anything but wait. It's a horrible feeling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 3:26 AM GMT
    Honey.. you needs to Simma down now!
    This really IS your first time at the rodeo.
    Stop with all the needy stuff or you'll just run him off!
    If it's meant to be, it will happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 3:39 AM GMT


    David, think about HOW you declined staying over etc. Were you mean in your delivery? Were you warm when you said no, or angry, or sad, or confused, or bashful? This is what your declining hinges on. icon_wink.gif


    warmly,
    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 3:40 AM GMT
    There is no way to turn back time and are you sure what you said with your filter off is not how you really feel?



    This is the type of shit and one of the reasons, some people should NOT drink alcohol.....'cause you can't handle your buzz and say or do stupid shit that you are always apologizing for.....just not worth the drama.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    Davidolce saidHey,

    basically I was really drunk and


    What's wrong with me? icon_sad.gifI fee


    What's wrong is you can't control your drinking. There is no reason to be really drunk when you are with someone. Nothing good ever comes of it. Next time you go out, if you can't stop drinking when you are feeling just good, then don't start.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 4:05 AM GMT
    You can't mess up a relationship or possible one so easily if the guy actually likes you.. and I'm guessing he does
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 5:25 AM GMT
    You're apologizing for NOT being a whore?

    stewie-say-whaaaat-o.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 5:50 AM GMT
    Jesus Christ you are such a fuckin woman. Just tell him you weren't in the mood and apologize if it came off as being an ass. If he really feels something for you he would accept your apology and move on with ya'lls relationship. It's not that hard. Pussy....icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    Who gets "really drunk" with a guy they're genuinely interested in? Jesus.
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    Feb 01, 2014 6:09 AM GMT
    Avsigkommen saidWho gets "really drunk" with a guy they're genuinely interested in? Jesus.

    Never miss a chance to be judgmental, do you.
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    Feb 01, 2014 6:33 AM GMT
    The whole 'really drunk' in the first few dates is a huge turnoff… You were right to want to go home, you would have likely puked on him.. LOL..
    and the next day, is called 'drunks guilt'. If your gonna do it, your gonna have it!
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    Feb 01, 2014 1:44 PM GMT
    You need to make it right. Maybe a 2nd date with some chocolates and a bottle of wine or perhaps invite him over to your place for a nice dinner. And yes a verbal apology also, he said " it's cool" but there is a chance he isn't cool with that, I wouldn't; personally and I am sure if it were you on the receiving end, you wouldn't either. Make it right, talk to him.

    Good Luck!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2014 7:03 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    Avsigkommen saidWho gets "really drunk" with a guy they're genuinely interested in? Jesus.

    Never miss a chance to be judgmental, do you.


    Please, Aristoshark. You're the Dr. Phil of this forum icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 14, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    he never called back icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Feb 14, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    Davidolce saidhe never called back icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif


    His loss.