Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

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    Feb 01, 2014 6:43 AM GMT
    Ever get mistaken, misunderstood, not appreciated for who you are? Discuss.
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    Feb 01, 2014 7:00 AM GMT
    I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. So some people translate that as me being a jerk. icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 01, 2014 7:04 AM GMT
    xrichx saidI have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. So some people translate that as me being a jerk. icon_neutral.gif

    Nah, you're all warm 'n' fuzzy 'n' shit.
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    Feb 01, 2014 7:53 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThe friggin' tragic story of my life.

    Grossly under-appreciated and misunderstood.

    I've had to force myself not to be so giving cuz I paid the price in the end. I keep to myself because of it. I've been very giving and loyal to friends in the past who were all too eager to berate and humiliate me (and sometimes in public). Some people get stuck in patterns. I finally broke out of mine and will not be subjected to that type of mistreatment ever again.

    What kind of moran would want to humiliate you?
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    Feb 01, 2014 2:00 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. So some people translate that as me being a jerk. icon_neutral.gif

    This raises an interesting thought: Are we who others perceive us to be, or are we who we think we are?

    Frankly, I think at the end of the day, who people remember us to be is who we actually were to them. What we think we are, frankly, is a figment of our imagination.

    Actions speak louder than words. How we actually occur to people may trump how we think we occur to people. (Nothing personal here) In other words, if we're behaving/doing that which jerks do, maybe we are a jerk... in denial.

    It makes it all the more important to be aware of how we occur to people so that we can be in line with how we wish to communicate ourselves to one another.
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    Feb 01, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    Sometimes, I have to be careful that my remarks or jokes are received and communicated clearly.

    Yes, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.................
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    Feb 01, 2014 4:32 PM GMT
    People think that I am angry or look angry. I have NO IDEA how this happened. I don't know how to change how people perceive me. People who know me know that that is quite possibly the exact opposite of what I am but whatever.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Feb 01, 2014 4:33 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor. So some people translate that as me being a jerk. icon_neutral.gif


    Ayuh
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    Feb 01, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
    TerraFirma saidThis raises an interesting thought: Are we who others perceive us to be, or are we who we think we are?

    Frankly, I think at the end of the day, who people remember us to be is who we actually were to them. What we think we are, frankly, is a figment of our imagination.

    Actions speak louder than words. How we actually occur to people may trump how we think we occur to people. (Nothing personal here) In other words, if we're behaving/doing that which jerks do, maybe we are a jerk... in denial.

    It makes it all the more important to be aware of how we occur to people so that we can be in line with how we wish to communicate ourselves to one another.

    I think there's merit to what you're saying here. It really does come down to how others SEE who you are. Your actions, when repetitive, are really what will define what others think of you in my opinion. Although having said that, I do believe that there are many who are remain in the shadows, not wanting recognition that are sorely under appreciated because they're not an 'in your face' type of person.

    There are times I feel very under appreciated and as I grow older I feel less of a need for the outward appreciation because I've become more comfortable with myself and who I am. Perhaps I'm delusional and not seeing clearly what others see but I sleep at night.

    I rarely feel mistaken or misunderstood and I feel they're different than not being appreciated for who you are.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 01, 2014 5:07 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    TerraFirma saidThis raises an interesting thought: Are we who others perceive us to be, or are we who we think we are?

    Frankly, I think at the end of the day, who people remember us to be is who we actually were to them. What we think we are, frankly, is a figment of our imagination.

    Actions speak louder than words. How we actually occur to people may trump how we think we occur to people. (Nothing personal here) In other words, if we're behaving/doing that which jerks do, maybe we are a jerk... in denial.

    It makes it all the more important to be aware of how we occur to people so that we can be in line with how we wish to communicate ourselves to one another.

    I think there's merit to what you're saying here. It really does come down to how others SEE who you are. Your actions, when repetitive, are really what will define what others think of you in my opinion. Although having said that, I do believe that there are many who are remain in the shadows, not wanting recognition that are sorely under appreciated because they're not an 'in your face' type of person.

    There are times I feel very under appreciated and as I grow older I feel less of a need for the outward appreciation because I've become more comfortable with myself and who I am. Perhaps I'm delusional and not seeing clearly what others see but I sleep at night.

    I rarely feel mistaken or misunderstood and I feel they're different than not being appreciated for who you are.


    In general I agree with TerraFirma. For some time now I've been half jokingly saying: "We're all figments of our own imaginations." TBT, I pretty much believe that is true. There MAY BE an authentic, objective "self" somewhere inside the system of habits and preverbal ramblings that I call "me" but that self is NOT the habits and imaginary ramblings of my brain.

    It stands to reason, though, that if this is the case for me, it is equally the case for everyone or most everyone else. In which case they're not going to see me "objectively" anymore than I see myself or them.

    I like the psychological systems that divide a human being up into two somewhat related but different things: PERSONA (mask, personality, formed by our interaction with others) on one hand and ESSENCE (that kernel of uniqueness we were born with) on the other. For the most part we identify with our personality: I am the person talking with you and the language I've learned to use and the thoughts I express in it were all learned in my culture and society. But beneath that is another, more unique and genuine self about which even I (personality) may not know very much.

    ETA: This way of thinking about our situation helps explain how it is we can fall in love with someone with whom we are incompatible.
  • JArking

    Posts: 139

    Feb 01, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    At the funeral of a friend I spoke up and thanked everyone stating something along the lines of how I appreciated each and everyone there because who are are is a combination of experiences and our reactions to them with other people throughout our life. How we are perceived is ultimately not up to us to dictate, so why concern yourself with it when it may not hinder you in any way?

    This said I don't live by that logic very often. For some all it takes is one really bad day for an opinion of you to change, for me I think it was a bout of stress and depression. Starting a new job working with people who didn't know me that well prior left a really negative impression of who I was on them. Over the past year or so I've improved, I'm probably the happiest I've been in a long time but still I get looks and comments that show people still think of me in a rather negative light. I care because these are people I have to work with, and people I admire, if they have negative views about me it creates tension. But not everyone matters icon_razz.gif

    You can't expect people to understand you and know you 100% of the time either. So it's fair to cut them some slack.

    Beyond that most of my physical image is based around what makes me comfortable. From the clothes I wear to the physique I strive to attain it's all based on personal goals I've had for a very long time. I workout so that I can do the things I enjoy better, not so I can attract people. icon_razz.gif That's probably why I'm so tiny still.
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    Feb 01, 2014 5:48 PM GMT
    Being very quiet and nice, some people have believed that they can walk over me and have mistaken my kindness for weakness.
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    Feb 01, 2014 6:02 PM GMT
    onejock saidEver get mistaken, misunderstood, not appreciated for who you are? Discuss.


    All the time.
    And at this point, I kinda don't care anymore. Over it.
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    Feb 01, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    onejock saidEver get mistaken, misunderstood, not appreciated for who you are? Discuss.


    All the time.
    And at this point, I kinda don't care anymore. Over it.


    I'm sorry. I really don't get what you're saying here...
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    Feb 01, 2014 7:00 PM GMT
    On RJ, yes.

    IRL, it takes me a while to open up to people, but when I do I love to make people laugh and I will act silly as hell. It prolly makes people think I'm ridiculous. Maybe my sense of humor is whacked...Idunno.

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    Feb 01, 2014 8:05 PM GMT
    Generally I well dressed and walk with an air of confidence. People say I'm just strutting and guess may view as arrogant icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 01, 2014 8:08 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidGenerally I well dressed and walk with an air of confidence. People say I'm just strutting and guess may view as arrogant icon_sad.gif

    You're not arrogant, you're elegant. <3
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    Feb 01, 2014 8:10 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet saidthat's the story of my life from the damn jump. i've always been misunderstood but you know what, i don't even care anymore because i'm simply tired. either you get me or you don't. if you do, then good. if you don't, then oh well. i'm through with explaining myself to other people. not losing any sleep anymore over it.


    ^ This times infinity.
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    Feb 01, 2014 8:12 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    onejock saidEver get mistaken, misunderstood, not appreciated for who you are? Discuss.


    All the time.
    And at this point, I kinda don't care anymore. Over it.


    This +100, don't really care anymore.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Feb 01, 2014 8:18 PM GMT
    onejock saidEver get mistaken, misunderstood, not appreciated for who you are? Discuss.


    If that's never happened to you you've never uttered a single word
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    Feb 01, 2014 8:18 PM GMT
    Yes but only by stupid people (obviously) icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 01, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidSometimes, I have to be careful that my remarks or jokes are received and communicated clearly.

    Exactly.

    I don't really like the term misunderstood because it's essentially shifting the blame onto the listener when oftentimes the problem is that the person who was misunderstood didn't communicate effectively.
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    Feb 02, 2014 3:32 AM GMT
    yep.
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    Feb 02, 2014 4:22 AM GMT
    whateveryo saidYes but only by stupid people (obviously) icon_lol.gif

    An ironically insightful, and not a totally untrue observation.

    We all get misunderstood. We put our foot in our mouth, or online, where the 1-dimensional written word often fails to convey our true & complete meaning.

    And when that happens I immediately ask myself what did **I** do wrong? Because in my Speech degree I was taught that clear communication is always the responsibility of the speaker first, not the listener.

    And yet, some listeners are just dense. Or prejudiced. And predisposed to hear what they want to hear, no matter what or how I say it.

    So yeah, some people misunderstand me because they are stupid. I can't blame myself for that. But first I always ask myself is the fault mine. But after several attempts, if they still don't understand, they are confirmed to be fucking stupid.
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    Feb 02, 2014 4:41 AM GMT
    Unappreciated yes...misunderstood no so much.I am a polite but very blunt Aries.I have always had a love me or hate me personality even as a kid.To know me is to know my feelings on most topics lol.