Is Homophobia Rooted In Fear Of Losing The Perception Of Being Straight?

  • metta

    Posts: 39130

    Feb 02, 2014 3:20 AM GMT
    Is Homophobia Rooted In Fear Of Losing The Perception Of Being Straight?


    http://instinctmagazine.com/post/homophobia-rooted-fear-losing-perception-being-straight



    Homophobia Is a Real Fear … but of What, Exactly?
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/01/30/what_is_homophobia_why_straight_men_are_right_to_be_afraid_of_homosexuality.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2014 5:06 PM GMT
    Well, in the Caribbean, being gay means you are taking on the role of being the woman in a homosexual relationship. Considering that men here idolize the machismo behavior, which goes back to a lot of them coming out of fatherless homes, so they need to present picture of being a normal straight rough man raised by a single mother.

    This goes back to nurture/environment theory used for determining a persons sexuality.
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    Feb 02, 2014 5:42 PM GMT


    Some women friends want to ask: why is it that women get all chummy affectionate n stuff with each other and people don't auto-think they are lesbians? They think it's a guy insecurity problem. That, and media's encouragement of mean gossip.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Feb 02, 2014 6:39 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet saidno, homophobia just comes from ignorance.
    I agree 100%.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 02, 2014 6:49 PM GMT
    I think that is part of it. I work out at a gym with a lot of Air Force guys and I hear some homophobic talk but mostly I hear hetero talk that sounds a bit loud and over the top. I think that's why military guys in particular have the homophobic reputation-- they've chosen to live almost exclusively among guys and a lot of them choose to spend their free time in a gym with guys. So they make a lot of big talk.

    I think the other reason for homophobia is simply the pleasure in choosing sides, and winning against a weaker opponent. Republicans love to pick an enemy and pound on them as the "other." And most insecure people do, too.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Feb 02, 2014 7:36 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidI think that is part of it. I work out at a gym with a lot of Air Force guys and I hear some homophobic talk but mostly I hear hetero talk that sounds a bit loud and over the top. I think that's why military guys in particular have the homophobic reputation-- they've chosen to live almost exclusively among guys and a lot of them choose to spend their free time in a gym with guys. So they make a lot of big talk.

    I think the other reason for homophobia is simply the pleasure in choosing sides, and winning against a weaker opponent. Republicans love to pick an enemy and pound on them as the "other." And most insecure people do, too.
    Many military guys are among the biggest and most insecure closet cases walking on two legs. Especially the hyper masculine Marines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2014 8:27 PM GMT
    To my mind, homophobia can only possibly be rooted in self-hatred and denial that the homophobe is himself (at least partially) homosexual. There can be no other explanation for it....
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Feb 02, 2014 8:56 PM GMT
    Sumarokov saidTo my mind, homophobia can only possibly be rooted in self-hatred and denial that the homophobe is himself (at least partially) homosexual. There can be no other explanation for it....
    That could be an accurate description for Russian President Vladimir Putin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2014 9:07 PM GMT
    I think it stems from many different areas, religion, loss of masculinity, just a general misunderstanding, etc...

    Some people fear what they don't know...
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    Feb 02, 2014 9:22 PM GMT
    Interestingly, it's been my observation over time that the very people (some straight guys) that are homophobic over fear etc that they may be considered 'homos' if they express affection for each other, are also the same ones that are quick to label other straight affectionate men as, well, 'homos'.

    O.o
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    Feb 03, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    How is the double consciousness (looking at oneself through the eyes of others) not directly related to a person's comfort with their own sexuality? Hasn't an out gay man come to terms with their own sexuality in order to no longer care what the world thinks of them? Why is this not the same mechanism for str8s?

    article: "We don’t hear about gay men discovering an interest in women later in life, and we rarely believe men when they say they are bisexual—the common, if erroneous, wisdom is that any man who says he is bi is really just gay and hasn’t admitted it yet."

    My str8 brother said just that on my visit this weekend, how he can understand str8, he can understand gay, but that bi makes no sense to him. I don't know if my explanation of gender, orientation & preferences helped him sort it out but when I was leaving the super bowl party he was having a moment and leaned in to kiss me goodbye. So I said "My brother has just kissed me. What a fag!" (I pretty much never use the word, but he's kind of a prude and always been a bit uptight so I thought I'd have a little fun. )
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    Feb 03, 2014 5:30 PM GMT
    I like this question lots! Probably part of some deep ecologological sociology though.

    I really like lumpyoatmeal's profile re: this thought web & thread
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    Feb 03, 2014 6:58 PM GMT
    I'm very heterophobic. When I see straight people holding hands and kissing in public I get angry and yell "BREEDERS!" at them.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 03, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    Homophobia originates from within the historical quagmire of brutish sexual instincts, coupled with the vulnerability of desire.

    Human beings have been around for a rather long time. Much of that time has been, by our standards, rather savage, brutal and uncivilized. We've been fucking one another all along and developing "societies" largely based around these fuckings. Or to put it more politely, society and civilization have sexual power dynamics built into them.

    Fucking implies a power dynamic. In its crudest sense, the male owns the female(s) he fucks. He owns the children that originate from those fuckings. His female(s) and his children are his wealth and his legacy.

    The male may have to fight other males to maintain his family herd. Males often fuck their rivals to prove their dominance. Today this is *mostly* done figuratively, through 'besting' them in some form or other -- thus all the forms of competition society has generated. But this has NOT always been the case. In fact, I think it could be argued that through much of early, more beastly human history, literally fucking your rival was fairly common. A 'real man' didn't just fuck his women, he fucked anyone or anything that attempted to fuck with him. To be male and to get fucked is to be dominated, shown your place in the hierarchy, shamed, made 'less than a man'. Etc.

    In all the above there's been no mention of 'desire' (or any emotion, let alone intimacy). In this over simplification, sex is presented as male prerogative and dominance, to put forward the notion that *this* is how many (if not most) men relate to sex on a fundamental, primal level. We're all the progeny of the *survivors* of a brutal human history where it was often fuck or get fucked both literally and figuratively.

    But, of course, desire can not be overlooked when talking about the power dynamics of sexuality because, from the point of view of the fucker, it represents a vulnerability, a weakness. A dominator can be led astray, even trapped or betrayed by his desires.

    This is how the power dynamics of a heterosexual relationship 'even out' (so to speak). It explains why women wish to be and remain 'desirable' because it gives them *power* to 'attract' and 'keep' the attention of their male counter part (and the social standing that goes with it). A dominator male must be careful, therefore, to not succumb totally to his desires, least he become 'pussy whipped', so trapped that he ends up getting 'fucked'.

    It is from this historical quagmire of sexual power dynamics that homophobia has emerged. Ultimately it is FEAR OF DESIRE, that is, fear of weakness, fear of loss of control, fear of loosing 'dominance' and 'manliness' and, thus, fear of getting fucked!

    In its externalized form, it is reassurance that one *MAY* fuck another man (figuratively and literally) as a form of dominance, free from any desire other than that of domination itself. But one must never DESIRE the opposite, to get fucked. Any male who does so is represented as weakness, and scorned as a direct threat to the social (hierarchical/dominance) order.

    Internally the secret desire to give pleasure to another male or get fucked is an upheaval in the socially instilled hierarchy of the mind. It is a direct threat to the male dominator principal itself. One fears it precisely because it is seen as representing weakness leading to subjugation and possibly banishment.

    I'll end this by suggesting that PERVERSION IS THE USE OF SEX AS A WEAPON. From this POV, if what I've said has any credence, the whole of our hierarchical / male-dominance civilization IS BASED ON SEXUAL PERVERSION.

    Thus homosexuality is, in fact, a direct threat to the established social order precisely because it is a *potential* rectification of this perversion. Acceptance of the subjective experience and external expression of *mutual sexual desire* irrespective of gender is a huge step away from the hierarchical, male dominator culture that has been human history for tens of thousands of years.