Long Distance Relationship 2

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2014 7:27 AM GMT
    I figure there was already one made before so I created a "2"

    Sooooo I Just made a thread this week sayin these made No Sense Buuuut I met someone. Really cute young Tobey Maguire looking guy from England, 25

    He stayed up and talked with me til it was 6 am there and we skyped and he told me I was hot and cute in real life.. . We only met a day before (talked for hours then too) and we already had some casual moving in together talk, however casual that can be haha. He already said were gonna talk tomorrow and Skype the day after...

    Of course we can't just move in right now, we were just talking early morning crazy and all.. buuut I REALLY like him.. I find it odd his name is Michael.. a name I felt like would always be the name of my guy, and he's an atheist just like the last Michael I liked despite how ironic their names are and I'm Christian hahah

    So I think I am for them... we would never be official until we met, buuut I think an Open long distance relationship is the way to go, we can see and do others but always have a commitment to the other until we can meet and be monogamous

    Anyways, ever try this with Someone that you Really Really liked?
    Any tips? I'm od enough to get this on the ball haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2014 7:58 AM GMT
    There are exceptions to the rule, but long distance relationships rarely work. Especially when both guys are on different continents.
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    Feb 02, 2014 8:38 AM GMT
    Yeah I know.. but I think if it were more of a pact that over the time the two people are forced to be separate from each other they will keep the other person always in mind and even if they date others.. if the time comes were they could meet they would do it regardless and see how it goes from there.. not all the commitment the official title of being in a regular relationship holds
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    Feb 02, 2014 12:56 PM GMT
    Whoa, moving a little fast?
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Feb 02, 2014 2:12 PM GMT
    Sounds like moving really fast. And having an open relationship, long distance, before spending any real life time together? Sounds a little crazy to me.

    Sounds like you guys felt a pretty strong connection and like you could be really good friends (with benefits) until you both make some moves. Like visit each other a bunch and make sure you can handle more than five minutes together.

    Relationships are easy in the beginning. Long distance relationships, especially if open, basically allow you to skip all of the real life stuff you'd encounter. I mean, it'd be tough to figure out how jealous either of you might be about stuff if you're not right there, watching it. On top of that, you can basically pretend he's something entirely different than he is, because he's not there to challenge your fantasy.

    Why not just take it slow, enjoy getting to know each other, and not rush into anything? Why complicate things so early on by labelling them and making huge life altering plans? Enjoy long distance skype sex, maybe enjoy hearing about him with other guys (?) and see what happens. It might work out the same way (positively) but it might also give you more time to enjoy getting to know each other before introducing crazy expectations.

    My two cents.
  • EbonyChoccie

    Posts: 17

    Feb 02, 2014 2:21 PM GMT
    Try dating and getting to know each other online to see if it works. If you are meant to be together, the swim across the Atlantic won't be difficult for either of you. You don't want to find out you're incompatible after having made huge life changing sacrifices like relocation only to end up stranded and lonely in a foreign land.
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Feb 02, 2014 3:09 PM GMT
    I'm surrounded by people who have/had a significant other back in the states (boyfriends, fiancee, spouses, etc.) and over the past year I have seen I'd say maybe 60% of them fail one by one, most within the first couple of months. Do what you'd like, That's just the info I've gathered.
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    Feb 02, 2014 3:45 PM GMT
    long distance doesnt work.. believe me -.- 10 months across the country u.s - canada was superrr hard.. my ex crossed the border a lot.. and i flew to him and stayed with him for 2 months.. different continents is crazy if u never even met.. people shudnt devote too much emotions to someone they've never met in person.. because the dynamics change in real life.. n ur 6 am is like their mid-day.. u mightve sacrificed sleep to talk to them n think thats special cause u realli hit it off.... but will they do the same? thats usual a good indicator of how much someone is into someone that theyd keep talkin to them despite wanting to sleep lol icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 02, 2014 3:59 PM GMT
    Gosh darn adorable.

    I give it 2 months, but still it's Adorable.

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    Feb 02, 2014 5:51 PM GMT
    lol... We already both agreed we are Young and Stupid

    But Nooooooooo I am not calling it any sort of relationship yet, I am just thinking ahead haha
    He doesn't have any of his work to move here so that would already be a time barrier as well

    Essentially it is just a good friendship, I agree we should meet a few times trip wise before getting serious, but he already wants to come to America, so if we broke up at least he doesn't hate to be here and we could still be friends if not roommates

    And Yeah I would stay up all night to talk to him If time permitted it.. I just got the better end of the stick I guess haha

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    Feb 02, 2014 5:56 PM GMT
    ReeBad19 saidlol... We already both agreed we are Young and Stupid

    But Nooooooooo I am not calling it any sort of relationship yet, I am just thinking ahead haha
    He doesn't have any of his work to move here so that would already be a time barrier as well

    Essentially it is just a good friendship, I agree we should meet a few times trip wise before getting serious, but he already wants to come to America, so if we broke up at least he doesn't hate to be here and we could still be friends if not roommates

    And Yeah I would stay up all night to talk to him If time permitted it.. I just got the better end of the stick I guess haha


    Oh shit
    Don't you dare send him money or a plane ticket
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    Feb 02, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    Noooo ^
    He would never ask me for such a thing, nor would I ask him
    You guys just don't know him lol, he is really sweet and we relate on so many things in different way
    (I realize I sound like a teenage girl right now)

    Also, we have already talked about the other guys we were with, we were fine with it. I may have only gotten slightly jealous when I saw he spoke with someone else on that same site Buttttttt I got over it, no big deal
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    Feb 02, 2014 6:12 PM GMT
    ReeBad19 saidSooooo I Just made a thread this week sayin these made No Sense Buuuut I met someone.

    This is the most important part of your post. You're young and you had an opinion about something that suddenly changed with your experience. This is important to recognize as it will happen with many issues throughout your life. I hope others understand the importance of this too.

    As for the 'relationship', I agree with others that LDR are very difficult to cultivate. Most couples need some physical enjoyment (being together, not just sex) to complete everything so unless one of you are willing to relocate, enjoy developing a great friendship and see where it goes. Falling in love or lust via Skype can be a very long fall down the road.
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    Feb 02, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    Well its not lust... We only had minimal sex talk
    I agree with your thought on how quickly my mind change

    I told him it was my first time Ever Skyping with someone just to talk and he laughed haha

    In fact, he saw I was too shy while my cam was on so he allowed me to just look at him the last hour we talked and was perfectly fine with it... No other guy would have let me do that without calling it unfair

    Also we would move to California if we Ever did it, I'm in NC so its as far as I can go without leaving the States, but obviously he would be the one with he most culture shock..
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 02, 2014 6:42 PM GMT
    I say go for it. May your euphoria last the rest of your life. This could be the real deal.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 02, 2014 7:06 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet saidyou're so desperate for a relationship that's it's not even funny. you sound like the type of guy that falls in love after one text message. get a grip. how you gonna do a serious relationship with someone you JUST met through a damn online site and for that matter, you aren't even aware exists or who they say they are because you never met them in person? wtf.


    Haven't you ever fallen hard for someone? It may or may not last but every drop of the sweetness should be savored. And ya know? Sometimes they work. It has to start somewhere and a rush and thumping heart is a great place to start from.
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    Feb 02, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
    Did it for 8 months while he's in Australia and I'm in US. it worked out in the end and I'm happy I did it, but it is very very difficult. Prior to that, we did live together and got to know him in person for many months before the long distance. In your case, your idea of him is based on his online persona. Trust me, they can and will be a totally different person IRL. That may not work out for you. Keep it casual. My advice is, when you can, Get to know him in person.

    But from what you've told us in OP, both of you are just infatuated.
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    Feb 02, 2014 7:25 PM GMT
    Thanks to All but the one who shall not be named... you know who are

    Maybe I made it sound more serious than it is.. it is just going on 3 days of talking online and I get that. I was just thinking "what if" and "how would it work"

    I figure its best to plan this stuff out now incase we do become serious about each other, but right now it is no biggy

    If I were as obsessed with him as I may accidentally sound then I wouldn't want him to date anyone and want to know Everything about him from day 1 but I don't.. he probably wouldn't want me then either haha.

    We have plenty of time just to talk.. its refreshing from the guys currently around me who are either not interested, closeted, or just want sex
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 02, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet said
    Destinharbor said
    ikilledcaptainplanet saidyou're so desperate for a relationship that's it's not even funny. you sound like the type of guy that falls in love after one text message. get a grip. how you gonna do a serious relationship with someone you JUST met through a damn online site and for that matter, you aren't even aware exists or who they say they are because you never met them in person? wtf.


    Haven't you ever fallen hard for someone? It may or may not last but every drop of the sweetness should be savored. And ya know? Sometimes they work. It has to start somewhere and a rush and thumping heart is a great place to start from.


    i'm sorry BUT mind over heart. just because your heart and dick says YES doesn't mean anything. if it's MEANT to happen where they're bound to be together, then there's no need to rush it. icon_lol.gif that's with anything in life. it will happen regardless of whatever happens. i'm not talking about this being into that "soulmates" or "he's the one" crap either. rushing something without knowing what one is getting into is a sure way to fail. it's like signing a contract without reading it thoroughly then being surprised when you get screwed over. they're already talking about moving in together. how do you do that with someone you JUST met and really don't know like that? dude just got high off of the other guy's face and what some words he's been told. geez.

    i know, i look like a jealous, hating ass debbie downer right now hoping that the op gets his heartbroke and is depressed and miserable like how i come off. icon_neutral.gif i hope it does work out for him BUT realistically speaking, going by what he's saying. the odds are against him.

    So why bring him down? Let hime enjoy the moment. He doesn't benefit from hearing about your bad experiences. He's probably had plenty of his own. We all have. But the good moments like he's had come along only now and then. My guy asked me if we were in love two weeks in. I was appalled. Then thought... uh, yeah! We've been together going on seven years now and we are the most illogical couple ever.
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    Feb 02, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    ^
    teehee
    icon_lol.gif
    icon_biggrin.gif