jmusmc85 saidPTSD from what?
My ex had a very serious case of PTSD from time spent in Iraq.Nightmares every night, black outs, violent reactions to minor things, fear of loud noises etc...it's not an easy thing to live with...
Childhood abuse in the form of physical and religious abuse. I was bullied relentlessly in school, then abused by my father when I got home. The therapist said I was lucky to be alive because most people with PTSD end up killing themselves via drugs or alcohol. Luckily for me, I have no interest in either. I have a full bar for guests but I never even look at it. It's very rare I have a drink and have never done drugs at all. So I guess I have that going for me at least.
That sounds very rough. No wonder you developped PTSD. There are some good therapies for it (EMDR). May or may not work for you. I do really hope you will manage to give this a place, cryptical as it may sound, how does one give such a thing a place...
On a sidenote, young as I am, and very unexperienced I don't want to come across as a knowitall but I don't know what kind of professional you went to. But any professional that literally says 'you are lucky to be alive because most people with PTSD end up killing them selves' raise questionmarks for me. Those are facts a professional KNOWS but does not share with his/her client. It could bring up ideas in the client's head.
I did my internship at the department of personality disorders and have seen with my own eyes how devastating bullying is. It is horrible, especially if you dont have a safe base at home. I wish your future will be better than your past Scruffypup.