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Why is it so difficult to be with a bisexual?

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Sep 21, 2007 5:24 PM GMT

I have so far been in a relationship with one bisexual man as well as almost had a relationship with another. THe first was a slight bit closeted and always hit on girls in front of me when his straight friends were watching the second I never ended up going on our date because he found out three days before our set date that an ex girlfriend of his bore his son. Many bisexuals i have dealt with tend to be either semi closeted or claim to like girls better while i still end up sleeping with them anyway while another closeted bi as well as my best friend from 8th grade comes out as bi while the closeted bi guy comes out as full blown gay! I wish i hadn't lost Tony's number and damn i was in love with Eric. If i had only known then. But anyway I find bisexuals a bit more difficult to have a relationship with than other gay men? What would be your take on this issue guys? Bi's included.

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Sep 21, 2007 5:48 PM GMT

Good topic.

However, I just think you have had bad experiences with men that are in reality gay, and hide behind a facade of saying they like girls too. Like its less bad or something to society.

The nature of being bisexual is finding the human body, in general, a beautiful thing. I can find some females crazy hot, and I can find some men crazy hot. Yet, I fall in love with the person, and who they are, and how they treat me, not what sexual organs they have. To me sexual attraction isn't always instant, its a byproduct after finding someones character attractive. Then I want sex!

If a bi is hitting on girls while on a date with you, it's just low-class. Straight, gay, bi or otherwise. You need to move on and find a guy worthy of you.....

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Sep 21, 2007 5:54 PM GMT

that's why I'm single now. lol I broke up with him over it after the straw that broke the camels back came into play. I was already going to break up with him, he made me late to work i threw the engagement ring at him and finally said it was over for real 3 days later.

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swimbikerun

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Sep 21, 2007 6:02 PM GMT

I've never met a "true" bisexual guy, one who has dated an equal number of guys and girls.

I understand people that hookup with both sexes but starting a relationship is another thing.

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Sep 21, 2007 6:08 PM GMT

Yeah. I'm "bisexual" in terms of what I'm attracted to, although even going on pure sexual attraction, I think dudes are hotter on average. But personality wise there have been a grand total of three girls I met who I could see myself in a relationship with in all of my 23 years, one of them wasn't sexually attractive to me, the other was a friend's girlfriend, and the third went insane and dropped out of my school as I was trying to get to know her.

Whereas theres a lot more guys who I find myself compatible with. I imagine it's very tough to find someone who is exactly in the center though. I mean hell, I even prefer brown/dark hair to blonde significantly, and that shit is trivial :P

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Sep 21, 2007 6:34 PM GMT

Since, you are young. I imagine the guys you are dating are young as well. That is not a bad thing. But you mentioned an engagement ring. I think it is great that young guys want to have a lasting relationship. But I think you need to grow a little more. Live a little more and find out what you really want in life.

As far as the Bi-sexual thing goes. It is never easy. I had been to bed with plenty of guys that say "I'm not gay but I like the fool around". The list goes on and on. This used to make me mad and then I discovered the G0Y.org thing where Lots of guys are straight but like to have FROT sex with other guys.

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Sep 21, 2007 6:43 PM GMT

For some reason losing a guy to another guy is not nearly as frightening to me as losing a guy to a girl. I know that seems backwards but really it would wreck me! No "bi"s for me...no siree.

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Sep 21, 2007 6:45 PM GMT

Dude! There was a ring involved??!!

I agree with Lost-Lover... you need to have some fun and experience different people first. Bi or otherwise.

I didnt realize Mr. swimbikerun that to be a "true" bisexual I had to be involved with an equal amount of guys and girls. Lemme check my black-book....

Shit, I've dated two girls more than guys.... I need to date two guys quick to be a TRUE BI!!!!!

Any takers????? ;)

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Sep 21, 2007 6:46 PM GMT

I used to be Bi...Im not anymore...Gay 100% and loving it!!!

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Sep 21, 2007 6:47 PM GMT

LASurfer... Pick me... Pick me!!!!!

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GQjock

Posts: 11649

Sep 22, 2007 12:00 AM GMT

I don't date Bi guys anymore

... they never cab decide what to order for dinner

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Sep 22, 2007 12:07 AM GMT

Surf & Turf, baby. Surf & Turf.

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Sep 22, 2007 12:22 AM GMT

I don't mind bi guys, but they can be bossy bottoms due to all that repression.

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Sep 22, 2007 12:26 AM GMT

Shut up and put some effort into it.

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Sep 22, 2007 1:21 AM GMT

Ever hear the term "Bi now, Gay later"?

IMHO it's because eventually people choose one or the other.

While I do know a couple of genuine bisexuals in committed relationships; most 'bisexuals' I have met use the term as an excuse for multiple partners and cheating.

It is not - to my mind - a question of attraction or preference; rather it is a question of trust or monogamy (though I have always thought TRUST was more important than MONOGAMY).

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art_smass

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Sep 22, 2007 1:48 AM GMT

RuggerFor some reason losing a guy to another guy is not nearly as frightening to me as losing a guy to a girl. I know that seems backwards but really it would wreck me!

Yes, it wrecked me for a while.

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Sep 22, 2007 2:04 AM GMT

Very sorry to hear.

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Rightguard

Posts: 34

Sep 22, 2007 2:23 AM GMT

My experience with Bi guys have never gone well.

They tend to think that they will be Bi while they are young and screw around but have plans to get married to a woman in the future and have kids. Why waste my time?

When I'm looking for a potential relationship I'm not going to give a Bi guy a chance anymore.

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Sep 22, 2007 4:41 AM GMT

Bi guys are (and girls for that matter) are just harder to trust - with them, you are basically competing with the entire planet to keep them interested

closeted gays tend to be about the same in that they will play with the idea (and you), and then pull the "not gay anymore" "changed my mind" card on you whenever they want

its understandable in that being w a guy or a girl, the two very different things: physically, psychologically, culturally, and just the general situation of it all

testing the waters can scare them if they get too deep into it - but as a result you may end up getting your feelings hurt...

in conclusion

methinks we just need to be more cautious when dating those who cant choose - be it male/female or (to quote someone on this thread) what to eat

WAITER: "Sir, will you be having the Steak or the Fish?"

GUY: "Uh..... ummmm...... Uh...... the fish - NO NO, the Steak! wait ..... maybe if i .... naaaa - the Fi......um never mind... I'll just have the Steak... yea..."

WAITER: "very well sir" *walks away*

GUY: "WAIT! Come back! I change my mind..."

im done ranting

j

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Sep 22, 2007 5:41 AM GMT

I'm very sorry to hear no one on here trusts bi's. Ever think maybe they just dumped you cuz they werent into you?

That's funny, I've had gay men dump me... and cheat... small world isnt it?

Dont kill the messenger of reality.

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Sep 22, 2007 7:54 AM GMT

I can't speak much for dating experience. What i can tell you is that my other half of 9 years is Bi...all his "relationships" had been with women up until he met me. His experience with men had mostly been brief...usually with other bi buddies that were otherwise straight. He ended his live in relationship of 3 years with his girlfriend at the time once we got together.

Everything has gone very well since we began....we have a traditional monogomous relationship and everything is going well now. That he's attracted to men and women...yeah he is...so am I...but in the end if the person your with makes you happy your not really "competing with the entire men/women population"...matter of fact, your not competing at all. I guess if your happy with who you have at your side....nothing else matters. Likewise...if your not happy...whether your bi, straight, or gay...your going to stray.

My two cents...

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Sep 22, 2007 4:54 PM GMT

LASurfer: More specifically, not into our underdeveloped breasts and straight hips.

I loves me a big brave totally out gay guy. I'm thinking most other gay guys do too. It's a matter of taste and what sort of unpleasant, 180 degree surprises we're willing to endure. Sure there are other unpleasant surprises that could happen, but why invite additional ones? I think most gay men eventually seek stability.

That's our reality, and there are hundreds of millions of those messengers.

I wish I could better understand bisexual guys, but I just don't. Surprisingly, this thread hasn't done much to change that.

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UStriathlete

Posts: 320

Sep 22, 2007 6:24 PM GMT

y'all are kidding, right?

have some self esteem. dating sure, but a relationship, no thanks. rather be in a relationship with a man that is "in to me" 100%.

sorry bi crowd. deep down inside, you've got to know, what truely turns you on, if do want a serious relationship or if dating "everyone" is were you're at, just be up front and honest.

sure i like vanillia and chocolate ice cream, but make me choose one or the other, it's chocolate that i'm really into.

good luck!

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Sep 22, 2007 8:04 PM GMT

Apex_mortgage_broker .... you are my hero.

Rugger.... again, it saddens me that you equate bisexuals with non-monogomous capable beings and problematic individuals. I am truly sorry for that. Good luck with your quest and peace.

p.s. 'underdeveloped breasts'? Good attempt at humor... but....not in-line with a healthy debate.

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Sep 22, 2007 10:17 PM GMT

I think a little humor is usually a good component of a healthy debate.

I understand your logic, but this is an emotional issue. Losing a guy to a woman would be awful. What am I gonna do if my hypothetical bi guy gets a hankering for pussy? I simply don't have the tools. No one wants to hear that they cannot satisfy their partner.

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Why is it so difficult to be with a bisexual?