woodsmen saidThere was a recent report in the NYT that discusses power struggles in couples. It found that gay men have the best sex because gay men primarily choose partners for erotic reasons (top, bottom; dominant, submissive) whereas modern straight couples are having less sex and less satisfied sex because men are becoming more like women and women are becoming more like men. Link to the article below.
Wow! IF that's true, it's a fascinating and obviously not very positive consequence of the sexual revolution. I actually think that sex for straight couples in America is much more fucked up than sex for straight couples in, say, Europe or Latin America. Gender identities in America are hopelessly messed up by impossible catch-22s, including the ridiculous notion that sexual relations should have the clarity and punctiliousness of a legal contract. Let's face it sometimes "no" means "yes" and "yes" means "no" for both men and women, for both gay and straight--sometimes we want to be subjugated and sometimes we want to be dominant: the quest for pure equality in sexual relations takes all the fun out of it. Why is it, for example, that in movies from the 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s the screen kiss was a regular and sexy occurance; and now in films of the last two decades, straight couples hardly ever kiss and when they do, there's no intensity to it?
This quote from the article and mentioned above sums it up well:
‘The values that make for good social relationships are not necessarily the same ones that drive lust. Most of us get turned on at night by the very things that we’ll demonstrate against during the day.’
The rest of the world knows this, but America, still suffering from a four-century old Puritan hangover, does not.