Feel alone - no attraction towards penis

  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 09, 2014 4:34 PM GMT
    Might be linked with this other topic I made.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3676415

    Anyway as it is mentioned in there: I am a virgin, not into anal, oral or whatever. I know I am attracted to guys.

    It's only really the penis that I can't find myself getting hard for. A good defined ass can get me excited, as well as a lean torso to go along with a handsome face.

    I have asked elsewhere, (and I have met a few (not many) who feel similar) but still can't get my head around it, since I see most gay men go crazy for it, plus movies and TV shows show this interest more, making me feel unusual. I would really appreciate some help to understand this icon_smile.gif Thank you
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    Feb 09, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    if it makes you feel any better, there's a lot of straight guys who don't get a boner when they see a vagina (they like ass or tits or whatever else).

    genitalia is just a means to an end in the grand scheme of things. what you've mentioned is other features of men that you appreciate, get excited for. there's a lot of bad looking dick out there....not all gay men get a boner just because they see a penis (though some do).

    the bigger concept here is that you know what you like: stick with that. don't change your viewpoints or do something that you don't want to do because someone else suggested it (i.e. if you don't want to have sex, don't do it).

    on the flip side of things, what do you think of your own penis?
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    Feb 09, 2014 4:59 PM GMT
    I don't think it's abnormal at all. When I was a virgin and before I had done anything with a guy, I was unsure if I was even gay (thought I may have been bi). And when I finally did have my first intimate experience with a guy, I wasn't too eager about the whole penis thing either...like sucking one. In fact, I didn't like it a few times after I tried it again.

    But, eventually, as I got more comfortable with who I was, my sexuality, etc., everything else fell into place. You'll get there..you just need time and experience.
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 09, 2014 5:02 PM GMT
    willular saidif it makes you feel any better, there's a lot of straight guys who don't get a boner when they see a vagina (they like ass or tits or whatever else).

    genitalia is just a means to an end in the grand scheme of things. what you've mentioned is other features of men that you appreciate, get excited for. there's a lot of bad looking dick out there....not all gay men get a boner just because they see a penis (though some do).

    the bigger concept here is that you know what you like: stick with that. don't change your viewpoints or do something that you don't want to do because someone else suggested it (i.e. if you don't want to have sex, don't do it).

    on the flip side of things, what do you think of your own penis?

    That does reassure me a bit. My concern is if guys would be patient with me, beforehand I would just love to lay in a bed with a sexy guy just kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. (kinda vanilla I think)

    Don't know what to think of my penis, but i know it's a good size.

    Cheers for the responses so far icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 09, 2014 5:10 PM GMT
    MarkW1 said My concern is if guys would be patient with me, beforehand I would just love to lay in a bed with a sexy guy just kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. (kinda vanilla I think)


    don't worry -- there are patient guys out there. and as mentioned before, don't do anything you don't want to do, and stick your ground on that. if a guy wants to rush into something and you don't, just tell him that.

    what you mention above though isn't vanilla at all -- and if it is, so what? it's awesome to just lay naked with a dude, kissing and doing all that stuff.

    the only reason why i had asked about your thoughts on your own junk was because for some guys, their only experience is their own dick and they get used to it --- so when they see something that isn't like their own, they don't like it.
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    Feb 09, 2014 5:22 PM GMT
    Penis does absolutely nothing for me when I see a picture of it. On gay apps and dating sites I would much rather someone send me a full body shot of themselves dressed up, or showing off a hot chest. Even seeing a dude's bulge is more exciting to me than actually seeing that little bald-headed man in a turtle neck.

    In the heat of the moment I still am not crazy about it, and get much more turned on touching a dudes hot, hairy, chest or rocking beard. Oh god is it getting hot in here to anyone else... icon_twisted.gif
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 09, 2014 5:25 PM GMT
    willular said
    MarkW1 said My concern is if guys would be patient with me, beforehand I would just love to lay in a bed with a sexy guy just kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. (kinda vanilla I think)


    don't worry -- there are patient guys out there. and as mentioned before, don't do anything you don't want to do, and stick your ground on that. if a guy wants to rush into something and you don't, just tell him that.

    what you mention above though isn't vanilla at all -- and if it is, so what? it's awesome to just lay naked with a dude, kissing and doing all that stuff.

    the only reason why i had asked about your thoughts on your own junk was because for some guys, their only experience is their own dick and they get used to it --- so when they see something that isn't like their own, they don't like it.

    for a while i wasn't proud of my dick, then when i discovered it's actually not too bad i felt a lot better about it.

    tbh i'm still learning the terms.

    and regarding guys i will be saying that if they want more
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    Feb 09, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    MarkW1 said
    willular said
    MarkW1 said My concern is if guys would be patient with me, beforehand I would just love to lay in a bed with a sexy guy just kissing and rubbing each other's bodies. (kinda vanilla I think)


    don't worry -- there are patient guys out there. and as mentioned before, don't do anything you don't want to do, and stick your ground on that. if a guy wants to rush into something and you don't, just tell him that.

    what you mention above though isn't vanilla at all -- and if it is, so what? it's awesome to just lay naked with a dude, kissing and doing all that stuff.

    the only reason why i had asked about your thoughts on your own junk was because for some guys, their only experience is their own dick and they get used to it --- so when they see something that isn't like their own, they don't like it.

    for a while i wasn't proud of my dick, then when i discovered it's actually not too bad i felt a lot better about it.

    tbh i'm still learning the terms.

    and regarding guys i will be saying that if they want more


    lol i wasn't really talking about size or anything, just overall appearance/shape. me personally, i still find uncut to be kinda gross (only because i'm cut, and it was all i saw for 20 some odd years lol).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    Don't let anyone accuse you of having a dirty penis, just because you might not be into dick.

    Everyone has their fetish. Some get off on feet, some on ass, some on dick, some on elbows. Don't ever let anyone try to make you feel badly for not being into what they are into. Some of these guys proselytize their sexuality.

    There are guys just into frottage or cuddling. There was a guy who used to post here more who also wasn't into dick. He was into muscle. So everyone has their thing. Find what yours is and enjoy it.

    Even though I'd think most gay guys are into dick in some way and likely more than a majority are into ass, you might not be attracted to either yet still be gay. You could even be asexual yet gay.

    Gay is loving men. Everything else is option with purchase.
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    Feb 09, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    Well you sound like a Top...
    So what's the problem?
  • Fritter

    Posts: 1696

    Feb 09, 2014 5:51 PM GMT
    For me, seeing a guys junk is nice, but I'm much more interested is seeing and admiring a well built body! I get harder for muscle, than for dick.
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    Feb 09, 2014 6:18 PM GMT
    Whats wrong with some of your answers? You say "you're gonna like it eventually" or "its repression", well no, lots of guys dont have an attraction toward the dick and still like men and its normal. Just because you like something doesnt mean the rest have to be the same, theres a wide range of things to like.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 09, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    tortoise_sex saidyou're suffering from repression.

    OMFG, if it isn't Mr. Diagnosis. Pazzy, who the hell ISN'T "suffering from repression"??
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 09, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    David3000 saidJust because you like something doesnt mean the rest have to be the same, theres a wide range of things to like.

    This ^^^

    Think for a minute. What does "normal" mean? It's just a vague kind of statistic, a bell curve, that has no basis in reality. Being you is normal for you. It isn't normal for anyone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2014 6:29 PM GMT
    When I was a virgin I felt the same way. Because I had not even seen a man's entire bare body. In fact didn't even knew the activity done in sex until I was 20. Thanks to porn. Now i want to see only cock and nothing else.
    Hey! Virgin. I am not a bad person.
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 09, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    thanks for the replies, it's reassuring to see some guys prefer muscle to dick (initially when I discovered how much gay guys loved dick I thought that was the main thing they loved).

    I don't consider myself asexual though. Being a top sounds better for two reasons - I won't worry about the pain of being a bottom, plus the fact it'll give me the opportunity to squeeze some man ass icon_razz.gif

    I had my first date a few weeks back and was very curious to know why everyone liked it so I gave his bulge a feel. it did feel good, but i didn't have an urge to go and look up dicks online.

    But honestly I'm not sure if I'll ever like them as much as most guys.

    It's probably the reason why I don't like looking at anal or oral sex online.

    leo_ saidWhen I was a virgin I felt the same way. Because I had not even seen a man's entire bare body. In fact didn't even knew the activity done in sex until I was 20. Thanks to porn. Now i want to see only cock and nothing else.
    Hey! Virgin. I am not a bad person.

    Secretly I hope this is me.

    But yeah it's true there is no such thing as normal
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    Feb 09, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    Based on what you've written on this thread you do seem to have some sort of unresolved conflict about sex, particularly where you vacillate on how you express your feelings of anal sex.

    So I'm just gonna copy/paste some of your lines in the order you presented them & maybe you'll see it:

    "I am...not into anal

    A good defined ass can get me excited

    Being a top sounds better ... plus the fact it'll give me the opportunity to squeeze some man ass

    I don't like looking at anal ... sex online
    "

    That suggests to me that you are into it but that you are not comfortable with yourself being into it. That you are not accepting what seems to turn you on so you might want to explore those issues so that you find a way to be comfortable with yourself in the world.

    (So apparently today I have gone on this forum from defending my clean ass, to expressing how much I do not like anal sex, to showing a guy it's okay to enjoy the anal sex he likes. My job on the internets is now complete.)
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 09, 2014 7:21 PM GMT
    theantijock saidBased on what you've written on this thread you do seem to have some sort of unresolved conflict about sex, particularly where you vacillate on how you express your feelings of anal sex.

    So I'm just gonna copy/paste some of your lines in the order you presented them & maybe you'll see it:

    "I am...not into anal

    A good defined ass can get me excited

    Being a top sounds better ... plus the fact it'll give me the opportunity to squeeze some man ass

    I don't like looking at anal ... sex online
    "

    That suggests to me that you are into it but that you are not comfortable with yourself being into it. That you are not accepting what seems to turn you on so you might want to explore those issues so that you find a way to be comfortable with yourself in the world.

    (So apparently today I have gone on this forum from defending my clean ass, to expressing how much I do not like anal sex, to showing a guy it's okay to enjoy the anal sex he likes. My job on the internets is now complete.)

    Well I don't know if I'm into it, since I never feel turned on when I see anal sex being performed.

    I do love ass though, which you have mentioned above.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2014 8:53 PM GMT
    Your sexual tastes will change over time. Don't feel compelled to like something you're not into.. Yet. icon_smile.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 09, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    xrichx saidYour sexual tastes will change over time. Don't feel compelled to like something you're not into.. Yet. icon_smile.gif

    The worst is when you run out of things to be into.icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    you have what the modern world likes to call "issues" you'll need to do something called "resolving" these "issues" because what you have described is not within "normal" conventions.

    However the questions that come to mind to ask.

    You seem like an arse guy which is all well and good cause same as you when I see a nice arse I'll get a little excited over it. But I always wanna put something in that nice arse.

    Either way you have a few problems that will take time for you to sort out. so you'll need time and a great deal of thought, maybe some help along the way wouldn't go astray either.

    But either way it's not wrong or bad or sad or incorrect it's just a hindrance for the time being until you can sort out what's going on upstairs.
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    Feb 09, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    Check out my adult pics, if you get a boner then you sir are a top. Problem solved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    Sexual Behaviors and Situational Characteristics

    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02438.x/abstract

    Sterotypes

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_stereotypes#Gay_men
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    Feb 09, 2014 9:46 PM GMT
    123triston saidCheck out my adult pics, if you get a boner then you sir are a top. Problem solved.


    I just looked at those pics and felt nothing. What does that mean?
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    Feb 09, 2014 9:51 PM GMT
    Draper said
    123triston saidCheck out my adult pics, if you get a boner then you sir are a top. Problem solved.

    I just looked at those pics and felt nothing. What does that mean?

    It means that you're not alone.