Are straight guys classier with online dating?

  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Feb 10, 2014 3:54 AM GMT
    One of my straight girl friends has a tinder and pof account, which we all played around with last week and yesterday. First thing I noticed is that she has a backlog of 20-30 messages on pof every time we log on together (she's only a 7/10 imo). Another thing is that lot of the messages she gets are lengthy and original... like the guy invested 10-20 minutes of his life writing that for her. Surprisingly, many of those guys are hot, with clearly real profiles.

    Whereas the messages I get are "hey", "sup", or other barely-nominal expression of physical interest. Sometimes I get the one-word replies even when I'm the one to initiate contact (I mean, I broke the ice already, you're either in or out damnit!)

    Of course, I make my girl friend ask the hot straight guys for body pics, and so far all the guys have been stalling or flat out refusing, even though they are clearly interested.

    Whereas the gays volunteer their nudies to me just like that. I'm not convinced that all of this can be attributed to straight guys simply doing what they think the girl wants.
  • PolitiMAC

    Posts: 728

    Feb 10, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing the straight ones are being the gentleman Knight in Shining Armour so many women love. I can't blame them icon_razz.gif

    I still think there is something inherently shallow and hopeless about online dating. I think you gotta know them from beginning to end in real life, and not a screen. But I understand that others have made it work in the past icon_razz.gif

    To address the question again, I would guess it's just a facade for the lady to like him. Sure, there may be genuine guys, but across the internet?

    Forgive me if I am cynical icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 4:40 AM GMT
    My understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 5:37 AM GMT
    From what I hear from the women I work with, it's all about sex, and all they want to do is post their cocks, thus not much different from gay dating sites.

    Never come to the net looking for love myself, as I was lucky in love long before I ever had the net.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 12:35 PM GMT
    I think that, in online dating, straight men outnumber straight women. That means that a lot of guys are competing for your friend's attention. So it's not that straight guys are classier than gay guys; it's just that they are playing different odds than we are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 12:41 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.

    This post gave me a headache.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 12:44 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.

    I don't agree with this, but maybe it's because I only accepted that I was into guys over a year ago, but I sure hope that's not true.
  • bischero

    Posts: 847

    Feb 10, 2014 12:56 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.


    will-smith-the-fuck.gif
  • frogman89

    Posts: 418

    Feb 10, 2014 1:24 PM GMT
    tru_blu_ozzie saidFrom what I hear from the women I work with, it's all about sex, and all they want to do is post their cocks, thus not much different from gay dating sites.

    Never come to the net looking for love myself, as I was lucky in love long before I ever had the net.icon_biggrin.gif

    I made exactly the same experience. Girl friends tell me it's just the same as gay dating sites. And guy friends tell me girls are no better in most cases! They show their boobs and pussies just as willingly.



    And I love how everyone went WTF on leo_'s post icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 1:53 PM GMT


    The problem to me is you can't get a real idea of chemistry through a screen, and I just don't find myself attracted to most of the guys on there. You can't help who you're attracted to...

    Why can't anyone have a conversation either? Just ask questions, then I will answer and ask you one. It really is that simple. I get that some people are shy, but damn. Disinterest and not knowing what to say are identical, and I do not have time to sit there and figure out which is which.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 2:29 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.

    Lmao I hope for your sake that you're trolling
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Feb 10, 2014 3:23 PM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidI'm not convinced that all of this can be attributed to straight guys simply doing what they think the girl wants.


    Do you ever talk to straight guys about girls? My straight friends are almost without exception horn dogs about women and have always been from high school through college on into adulthood, from the nicest of them to the trashiest. They put up a front due to girls' wants, but don't be fooled. They way they present themselves re: women when in the company of men is very different than how they behave when girls are around.

    In fact, they often talk about how jealous they are about how direct guys who are into guys get to be with each other about sex. I'm inclined to believe my experience is not the exception.

    Relationships can be difficult gay, bi, or straight -- but sex is cheaper for gays, so that why some dudes don't put in very much effort. That and many gays don't have self-respect and don't expect it from guys who hit on them. I think someone should be able to tell from your profile whether you're a "sup/hey" guy or a "hi, my name is ______. How are ya?" guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 3:29 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.


    Perhaps straight people have had all societies on their side from the time they were infants. Do gay people have that? No, they don't.

    Consider this analogy. Two men: one has had good food and exercise since being a child, the other had poor nutrition and no exercise since being a child.
    Now which one do you think would have better success at physical efforts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 4:02 PM GMT
    I think most people (straight or not) do want something stable, but it's definitely harder to find a relationship for people who aren't straight. There's less than 10% of the population to choose from, you have attraction to the same sex as your mate which makes things well, more sexual and just different. Also media is terrible for the gay community. I feel like Realjock is one of the only sites that actually focuses on something other than hooking up for men.

    I find it to be disappointing. Just yesterday I was out with my roommate and I passed by a gay guy and he gave me this degrading "I wanna fuck" look. Maybe it was in my head and that wasn't what he was implying, but I walk by guys all the time and most don't give off that kind of vibe. Though every now and then a clearly gay guy will give me that look and I don't like it.

    The whole idea of a guy actually wanting to be my friend and liking me for who I am just seems really foreign in comparison to what I hear most gay guys I know talking about, and all of the gay site experiences I've had over chat.

    That being said, I still believe most guys are more than capable of it and want it. I think we're just mislead because of how homosexuality is diminished in society. All men are very similar, but depending on your sexuality, you're cultured differently. So maybe straight guys are more formal. But a lot of them are still disgusting pigs, I hear them talk all the time about girls; it's pretty terrible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 4:36 PM GMT
    Phoenyx said

    The problem to me is you can't get a real idea of chemistry through a screen, and I just don't find myself attracted to most of the guys on there. You can't help who you're attracted to...

    Why can't anyone have a conversation either? Just ask questions, then I will answer and ask you one. It really is that simple. I get that some people are shy, but damn. Disinterest and not knowing what to say are identical, and I do not have time to sit there and figure out which is which.

    The art of communications is learned and unfortunately many have never learned or bothered to learn it.

    You're absolutely correct in stating that guys should ask questions and converse. It seems from what guys say that when a conversation is initiated, interest is compounded beyond the mire physical appearance. How often to guys see a couple and think 'why is he with him?', probably because they actually conversed and found there was much more of interest than just how they looked.

    I don't know about disinterest and not knowing what to say as being identical but I do understand the frustration with trying to continually lead a conversation, it's a killer to me too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 6:55 PM GMT
    leo_ saidMy understanding is, straights are meant to date love and marry and family with each other. No offence, homosexuality is minority. And only one out of thousand pair accept to be in relationship and find hard to stick to it. Unlike gay community straights are looking for more stability.
    Except that this stereotype has been contradicted by every statistical study ever done on the topic of gay vs straight relationships. Seriously Leo, with friends like you, who needs gay bashers?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 7:27 PM GMT
    I don't have tinder or POF so I don't know what's going on there. But I have had plenty of experience with OkCupid, and the men that I've met there have been thoughtful and chivalrous in their interactions with me, in very much the same ways that you had described for the straight guys on those other sites.

    I think people like to stereotype gay guys as crude horn dogs who just skip straight to looking for sex everywhere they go. I have always found gay men to act predictably based on their context. If I'm cruising on Grindr, of course I'm going to encounter tons of men who want to skip straight to talking about fucking. If I'm posting torso shots here, then I'm naturally going to get guys who message me about my body or work out activities. And then with OkCupid, if I'm going to talk about my work, interests, hobbies, values, etc...then that's going to be the focus. It's nothing out of the ordinary.

    Yeah, sometimes my conversations on OkCupid can get a little heated, but it never starts out that way and is a natural progression like all flirtatious text exchanges. And when it happens, it isn't a huge surprise. The conversation would have reached the point where we clearly articulated that we were physically attracted to one another. Then, at some point, maybe someone will ask for a cock shot and the other person delivers pretty quickly. Considering how a lot of gay guys have accounts across many different websites for dating, hooking up, etc., it doesn't totally surprise me when someone I'm talking to has some naughty pics on hand. I like it this way. ;)
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Feb 10, 2014 8:00 PM GMT
    well they kinda have to be as most girls are conditioned not to be overtly sexual. They have to put more showmanship into their courting wheras with gay dudes and guys in general just being more sexual, well, a dick pic in the first minute of talking seems to be the standard practice. not saying its right or wrong, just saying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 8:05 PM GMT
    Toastvenom saidwell they kinda have to be as most girls are conditioned not to be overtly sexual. They have to put more showmanship into their courting wheras with gay dudes and guys in general just being more sexual, well, a dick pic in the first minute of talking seems to be the standard practice. not saying its right or wrong, just saying.


    Yep. Men, straight or gay, are predators, and women for the most part are nurturers-- an evolutionary adaptation in humankind wherein women have sole responsibility for childbirth and primary responsibility for childcare.

    All men will talk dirty with each other about their sexual desires, but straight men are far less likely to do so with members of the opposite sex. To most women, that's a real turnoff until some initial intimacy has been established.

    And I'm speaking from experience here too. :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 8:14 PM GMT
    My observations of "straight" or "mixed" dating sites - and I haven't looked at any recently - is that the ratio of men to women is usually around 20:1 or even worse. Any woman who is better than a "5" or so will have "9s" and "10s" fawning over her. If you are not one, don't waste your time or hers. In open forums and blogs, there seems to be a competition among men to see who can post the most obsequious or sycophantic response to a woman's post. I find it a bit sickening and rather pointless. I'm extrapolating here, and imagining that the same sort of thing goes into private messages.

    FWIW: My last extended correspondence with a fairly attractive woman (as far as I recall) segued into discussion of various Japanese bondage "art forms." She was interested in meeting to practice some of this and take photographs. Then she mentioned that she hadn't been able to practice in a while because her last ropes-partner "got all uptight over being cut a little." icon_eek.gif

    Yeah... things tapered-off after that. icon_redface.gif Is she still an "8" if she's a psycho?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 8:16 PM GMT
    No.

    /thread
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 10, 2014 10:59 PM GMT
    I think so. But only because women usually take longer to sleep with. Alot of people are attacking Leo's post but from my experience and what i see, what he said is sadly true. Shits frustrating.
  • Jonno11

    Posts: 181

    Feb 11, 2014 3:55 AM GMT
    Half the shit i hear at work from all the straight guys leads me to believe otherwise. They use POF and Tindr to hookup, and say it rarely takes more than a couple messages to convince them to do it. They just have to pretend they have no ulterior motives, and then its Wham bam thank you Mam, off to the next.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
    Romero23 saidI think so. But only because women usually take longer to sleep with. Alot of people are attacking Leo's post but from my experience and what i see, what he said is sadly true. Shits frustrating.
    That's the cultural stigma around gay men. In practice it should be nothing like that, and there's probably an equal amount of straight men with that sort of mindset, anyway.
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Feb 13, 2014 11:00 PM GMT
    contrary to popular belief, Grindr is NOT a dating site.