Coming Out (WaytoDawn Edition)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:06 AM GMT
    So as a few friends of mine already know, I got the pleasure of coming out today. And not just a small nothing. But rather the big fish, my mother. Our relationship has been shaky for awhile now. Well, she decided to confront me about it. Very slowly alluding to it with "As long as you don't do anything that could be considered a sin in the eyes of the lord." Well, I was sick of it all. So I answered honestly. Eventually leading to the "Do you think you are homosexual?" To which I answered honestly, "Yes I am. And I am not ashamed of it. I am what I am, and i know God made me this way."

    Ensue an hour long debate of philosophy and religion that leads to nowhere. Ending with a mutual understanding of letting the issue simmer. She will never accept my sexuality. If i have a lover, she will not give her blessing. And if i chose to live the life she always wanted for me, except with a man, she will have no part. She ends with, "No, I will not kick you out. You are welcome to stay. I still care about you and always will. (Not love, care about) I just don't want you to burn in hell, so please never act on these tendencies. You won't go to hell as long as you never have sex."

    So here I am. No more words. Rejected by my religious mother. And I don't know what to do. Other than hide it all. And deal with it again when i finally have an answer. When I am finally strong enough to believe in myself.

    Tonight the Dawn sets. And i begin my journey: the way to the new dawn. A brighter future.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Feb 10, 2014 4:10 AM GMT
    We are here for you buddy.
    It's tough at first, but it'll get easier from now on.

    =]
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 10, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    Coming out is one thing, being out is another. You've taken the first step.

    Chances are your mom will choose to remain in denial… which in this instance means she'll just choose to mostly not think about it. If you don't bring it up, she won't. But, of course, it is always *there* ready to be used as ammunition against you if the need ever arrises.

    As soon as you are finically able, you need to get out from under your parent's roof. Difficult, I know, and may take some time. THEN you'll be free to BE out, whatever that means for you.

    In the meantime, congratulations are in order. So, congrats! At least you're not hiding and have put it out there.
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:18 AM GMT
    First of all, congratulations. That took a lot of guts. I'm proud of you.
    Second, your mother will face a choice between dealing with her religious feelings and losing you for good. Most mothers will choose their sons. She didn't bring you into this world and feed and clothe you only to have you disappear forever. She's angry and hurt (making it all about her, of course, but that's another issue of hers), but she will most likely come around.
    But the important thing is that you found your voice.
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:19 AM GMT
    The biggest part has been done. You have lighten your heart. That's all you want on Earth. Parents would take time. Let the time heal their thoughts.
    Meanwhile, congratulations! We know how hard to do this.

    "Last night I had a dream that I am out to everyone and later I struggled to reverse my words and undo the things happened. Struggling in dream is great nightmare." Uff I am not doing that in real.
  • RaggedyMan

    Posts: 7185

    Feb 10, 2014 4:24 AM GMT
    congrats, jordan! here for you.
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    "So here I am. No more words. Rejected by my religious mother. And I don't know what to do. Other than hide it all. And deal with it again when i finally have an answer. When I am finally strong enough to believe in myself."


    What is this? Like a Nicholas Sparks novel, or real life? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Tough love time!!!!icon_mad.gif

    Nigga, you are a grown ass man. Like I've said before you are waaaaayyyy behind the curve when it comes to adulthood milestones. It's sad enough that you just recently barely got your first job, but it seems like even though you've come out, you are willing to go back in?



    You've come this far, don't let that bitch or anyone else push you back in the closet. You are still one of the most weakest and docile people in this forum. You have to eventually stand up for something!!! This is your moment mutherfucker!!! Don't go back in the closet. Tell that bitch you love the cock, and if she don't like it she can suck on one herself!!!! Don't let it pass you by.
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:40 AM GMT


    For you, you've earned it. Give your Mom time; she has much to learn.


    il_570xN.514037208_lzaf.jpg
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    Feb 10, 2014 4:56 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said"So here I am. No more words. Rejected by my religious mother. And I don't know what to do. Other than hide it all. And deal with it again when i finally have an answer. When I am finally strong enough to believe in myself."


    What is this? Like a Nicholas Sparks novel, or real life? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Tough love time!!!!icon_mad.gif

    Nigga, you are a grown ass man. Like I've said before you are waaaaayyyy behind the curve when it comes to adulthood milestones. It's sad enough that you just recently barely got your first job, but it seems like even though you've come out, you are willing to go back in?



    You've come this far, don't let that bitch or anyone else push you back in the closet. You are still one of the most weakest and docile people in this forum. You have to eventually stand up for something!!! This is your moment mutherfucker!!! Don't go back in the closet. Tell that bitch you love the cock, and if she don't like it she can suck on one herself!!!! Don't let it pass you by.


    Shut the fuck up you asshole. You don't like my writing style? Shove it up your overused,oversized asshole.

    Don't act like you know me. I've worked my ass off for almost ten years, graduating valedictorian, getting my AA degree when I graduated high school and with honors and working towards my BFA. I gave up everything for my school. And yes, I'm behind the curve. I'm still a virgin, i havent had a drink. I havent even kissed a freakin person yet. I never had time for anything cause I was top of my class at school. Taking not one, two college classes during the summer. During, the mother fucking summer. With no A/C sometime. But guess what, I'm making up time. I got a promotion within two months of starting.

    You actually read the story? Or can your puny mind not comprehend it? I stood by my beliefs. I said i was gay and proud. I am not going back in the closet. And do not call me weak you used condom. I take the punches because i can dish em out, twice as hard. Unlike you, i have values. And i chose love over hate. So i will punch your light out with love.

    Better? And as always, have a nice day jmus <3 =3
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:00 AM GMT
    Like I mentioned to you before your mom will come around, and reading this makes me reassured that I'm right. It will take time... maybe more than you'd like, and even if your mom NEVER accepts you you have to understand this is your one shot at life, and that's all anyone ever has.

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    Feb 10, 2014 5:04 AM GMT
    WaytoJorDawn said
    jmusmc85 said"So here I am. No more words. Rejected by my religious mother. And I don't know what to do. Other than hide it all. And deal with it again when i finally have an answer. When I am finally strong enough to believe in myself."


    What is this? Like a Nicholas Sparks novel, or real life? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Tough love time!!!!icon_mad.gif

    Nigga, you are a grown ass man. Like I've said before you are waaaaayyyy behind the curve when it comes to adulthood milestones. It's sad enough that you just recently barely got your first job, but it seems like even though you've come out, you are willing to go back in?



    You've come this far, don't let that bitch or anyone else push you back in the closet. You are still one of the most weakest and docile people in this forum. You have to eventually stand up for something!!! This is your moment mutherfucker!!! Don't go back in the closet. Tell that bitch you love the cock, and if she don't like it she can suck on one herself!!!! Don't let it pass you by.


    Shut the fuck up you asshole. You don't like my writing style? Shove it up your overused,oversized asshole.

    Don't act like you know me. I've worked my ass off for almost ten years, graduating valedictorian, getting my AA degree when I graduated high school and with honors and working towards my BFA. I gave up everything for my school. And yes, I'm behind the curve. I'm still a virgin, i havent had a drink. I havent even kissed a freakin person yet. I never had time for anything cause I was top of my class at school. Taking not one, two college classes during the summer. During, the mother fucking summer. With no A/C sometime. But guess what, I'm making up time. I got a promotion within two months of starting.

    You actually read the story? Or can your puny mind not comprehend it? I stood by my beliefs. I said i was gay and proud. I am not going back in the closet. And do not call me weak you used condom. I take the punches because i can dish em out, twice as hard. Unlike you, i have values. And i chose love over hate. So i will punch your light out with love.

    Better? And as always, have a nice day jmus <3 =3



    I lol'ed at the "used condom" remark. I'll use that on someone one day!!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Feb 10, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    Rene_Aensland saidWe are here for you buddy.
    It's tough at first, but it'll get easier from now on.

    =]


    +1!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:15 AM GMT
    That was the hardest part, once the cards are on the table, part of the burden is lifted. You didn't get an ideal response, but at least you weren't completely shut out, which happens to so many people.
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:24 AM GMT
    Be strong, man. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:52 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    WaytoJorDawn said
    jmusmc85 said"So here I am. No more words. Rejected by my religious mother. And I don't know what to do. Other than hide it all. And deal with it again when i finally have an answer. When I am finally strong enough to believe in myself."


    What is this? Like a Nicholas Sparks novel, or real life? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Tough love time!!!!icon_mad.gif

    Nigga, you are a grown ass man. Like I've said before you are waaaaayyyy behind the curve when it comes to adulthood milestones. It's sad enough that you just recently barely got your first job, but it seems like even though you've come out, you are willing to go back in?



    You've come this far, don't let that bitch or anyone else push you back in the closet. You are still one of the most weakest and docile people in this forum. You have to eventually stand up for something!!! This is your moment mutherfucker!!! Don't go back in the closet. Tell that bitch you love the cock, and if she don't like it she can suck on one herself!!!! Don't let it pass you by.


    Shut the fuck up you asshole. You don't like my writing style? Shove it up your overused,oversized asshole.

    Don't act like you know me. I've worked my ass off for almost ten years, graduating valedictorian, getting my AA degree when I graduated high school and with honors and working towards my BFA. I gave up everything for my school. And yes, I'm behind the curve. I'm still a virgin, i havent had a drink. I havent even kissed a freakin person yet. I never had time for anything cause I was top of my class at school. Taking not one, two college classes during the summer. During, the mother fucking summer. With no A/C sometime. But guess what, I'm making up time. I got a promotion within two months of starting.

    You actually read the story? Or can your puny mind not comprehend it? I stood by my beliefs. I said i was gay and proud. I am not going back in the closet. And do not call me weak you used condom. I take the punches because i can dish em out, twice as hard. Unlike you, i have values. And i chose love over hate. So i will punch your light out with love.

    Better? And as always, have a nice day jmus <3 =3



    I lol'ed at the "used condom" remark. I'll use that on someone one day!!!icon_biggrin.gif


    I won't say much, but I think his comment to you may have hurt you a bit...
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    Feb 10, 2014 8:53 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor saidI'm not going to sugar coat it. She may not ever come around and she may stay in denial. It's not even a matter of you being gay but the fact you diverted from the plan. She may feel like she failed.

    That is not your problem. You only get to do this once. Youdecided to live foryourself and not other peoples ideals. Good for you.


    Wow, I did not expect this kind of advice from you. icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 10, 2014 9:08 AM GMT
    Was going to post about Hispanic culture, religion (it's a pretense) and detail what Aristoshark said, but I'll save it for later, or much later... Anyways congrats BTW, at least I could get that out of the way.
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    Feb 10, 2014 9:17 AM GMT
    Jordan I am so proud of you. Since I have met you I think you have grown as a person. You are truly one of the best guys that I now and I am confident that you can handle this moment just like you have handled other moments in the past. You are a person able to overcome any obstacle that is set in your path.

    I am beyond thankful to have you as what I consider one of my best friends. I am so glad that I have got to meet such a strong person and I look forward to meeting you in person one day soon.

    I know that this life holds great things for you and look forward and I am honored to see how far you go. I am always around if you need me.

    Dalton
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    Feb 10, 2014 9:20 AM GMT
    Congrats! It sucks to have religion thrown at you like that, but give you mom—and yourself—time. She may come around or not, but she does need time to process the info.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Feb 10, 2014 12:06 PM GMT
    I went through the same thing with my religious mother. Finally we agreed not to bring up the subject up because we disagreed and it only caused fighting. I sometimes wonder how worth it it was to come out, then not be able to bring the subject of my life up, but when I can look myself in the mirror and know I'm being true to myself, that makes it all worth it. Embrace who God created you to be.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 10, 2014 5:02 PM GMT
    Way to go, Jordan! I'm sure your mom will come around. It just takes time.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:06 PM GMT
    Congrats


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    Crazy to think this is the same Jordan from way back when. You've matured a lot. Congrats!
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    Feb 10, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the advice and kind words guys. I'm feeling alot better today. And hopefully even better tomorrow.

    It warms my heart to see friends, acquaintances and even people I don't really know, all come together and help me. I'm so glad I came here. So glad I met so many of you. And so glad, I will continue meeting so many more good people. icon_biggrin.gif

    The dawn is bright. And the warm gives me reason to keep going.
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Feb 10, 2014 8:12 PM GMT
    Congrats Dawnie!

    And do we have the same Mother? I hear the same thing EVERY day.