You.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2007 8:17 PM GMT
    You all suck. I've dated 4 guys my entire life and none of them have lasted for more than 2 dates! After the 2nd date I find out how much of a whore they are and it's really sad but I'm starting to think you all are the same way. I admit it, I can act like one...when I'm single. If I want a relationship, I switch onto a one-track mind. I can't help it, I just want him and only him. Why can't you just want me too? I hate you.

    Yes I have trust issues but thanks to the filthy man whores I've dated, they aren't getting any better.

    My friends and my family--even my dad warned me about dating. They tell me to stay away from it, that I'm too young. Maybe it's true, maybe every young fag is the same way. I've never had a boyfriend...or even a girlfriend in my whole entire life and I just want to be loved for once! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Sad but true.
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    Sep 21, 2007 8:34 PM GMT
    feel better now? sometimes it helps to vent - or are ya still irked?
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    Sep 21, 2007 8:40 PM GMT
    Where are you meeting these guys? That could be a big factor. Club rats tend to fall into the category of person you've described. Not everyone is a whore - I've only been with one guy!
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    Sep 21, 2007 10:41 PM GMT
    I feel a little better...but yeah guys suck. I think I met all of them online, I'm too shy to go up to someone in person I never know if they're gay or not ha...yeah that's probably the problem. They've all been online :(
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 22, 2007 12:39 AM GMT
    It's possible to meet nice guys on line. I met my partner on line. We are together for 6 years now I think.

    Don't let it get you down.

    Mike
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    Sep 22, 2007 3:44 AM GMT
    I haven't been with any guy. The few I am interested in are in denial or live a long way away.

    But I agree with something said earlier about the club scene. I wouldn't think you will find someone that really cares about you at a club.
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    Sep 22, 2007 7:19 PM GMT
    I HATE MEN!

    I'll be honest, after dating guys, I have determined that all men are scum. Why aren't there guys in my area that are more relationship-minded? They just want to sleep with guys and move on to the next.

    Arrrrrgh! Hate you all!
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    Sep 22, 2007 8:21 PM GMT

    I never had a boyfriend too .. and my attempts to get one were a total fail and disturbing situations (better not to explain..)!! i wanted so badley to fall in love and to feel how it is to be loved ..
    but now i'm 18 and i'm just ready to wait more and more for the right guy and not throw myself on the first hottie that comes to my face ..
    try to focus on yourself in this period or lonliness and get to know yourself better .. it'll help you to know exactly how's the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with him is like.
    good luck! :)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 23, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    bitter bitter bitter....
    the problem isn't what's out there ...
    the problem is - You're choosing them
    take a look at your criteria for choosing a man
    ... you might wanna put an X through one of the items or two
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 7:57 PM GMT
    Nobody ever told you that online is not the place to find your Mr. right.

    My theory is:

    Guy without photos are insecure about thier looks

    Guys who are not verified are using someone else's pics and usually are very buff looking. Beware, they are usually overweight and insecure about thier looks

    Guys who are only looking to waste your time until the next welfare check arrives and are usually overweight and insecure about thier looks. These guys are looking for a committed relationship via emails and messages and maybe the telephone too. But will never want to meet you. Cause they can't.
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    Sep 23, 2007 9:04 PM GMT
    I have met some great guys after chatting to them on-line. I think GQjock is right, the problem is you are choosing the wrong guys. You just need to work on developing your bullshit detector and I'm afraid that only comes with age and experience. (Some men ARE whores though).
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    Sep 23, 2007 11:18 PM GMT
    This could be the start of a great thread about monogamy.
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    Sep 24, 2007 4:34 AM GMT
    People usually attract the type of people who fill some need in their life. Maybe the signals you are giving out are attracting the wrong people to your circle.
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    Sep 25, 2007 12:10 PM GMT
    MikePhil wrote:It's possible to meet nice guys on line. I met my partner on line. We are together for 6 years now I think.


    I've been hoping to have some luck meeting people through the internet. I don't drink or smoke so I rarely go to the gay bars, and we don't have many other venues here in Baltimore for meeting people.

    However, I've had no luck meeting people online at all. When I send messages to guys I think have cool profiles and/or common interests, I never hear back. I know I'm not the best looking guy around, but still...friends would be cool...jeez :P

    And, the guys that message me are either completely not my type or just looking for a hook-up (def not my type).

    I give up.
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    Sep 25, 2007 7:57 PM GMT
    My God jd1338 and wakeboi you are far to young to be so bitter! Try a variety of avenues to meet guys, gay sporting leagues, volunteer work, internet, and bars (but not bathhouses!) are where I would start.

    I spent 12 years trying to find the right guy. When I tested positive at 34 I thought it was all over. Boy was I wrong. I met a great guy through a gay volleyball league in 1996, we became friends first then finally started dating after 15 months. We have been monogamous and in love ever since. I suspected early in my gay life that if I slept with a guy right away it would never pan out and I was right. So think about what your interests are, what makes you tick emotionally (do you fall in love easily for eg.), how you react to becoming intimate early in an acquaintance.

    Good luck and keep trying.
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    Sep 25, 2007 11:04 PM GMT
    jbedwards, thank you very much for sharing that. Reading all this made me understand that i'm not the only one so I thank you all. I'll def put it into practice!
  • hyperionx

    Posts: 232

    Sep 25, 2007 11:29 PM GMT
    JD, not all guys suck dude. icon_biggrin.gif

    You gotta realize dating is all about meeting other people and seeing if you click with them -- and most of the time you'll meet someone who is OK, but the spark might not be there. It's an ongoing process that has taken everyone quite a bit of time to get that one person you like -- so don't get too frustrated. They're out there.

    I've found it's a lot easier to meet guys off line, and not necessarily at a club -- a couple suggestions might be a coffee house that caters to a mostly gay crowd, or a small chill wine bar or house music lounge maybe?
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    Sep 26, 2007 1:56 AM GMT
    Hey jd1338 you are welcome, I always try and help out my fellow gays with my (many) life experiences. By the way in the Myers-Briggs I was INTP, I can be very shy and introverted (my Dad was the same) so I know how difficult it can be to connect with people, especially in bars!
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    Sep 28, 2007 9:31 PM GMT
    Yes ages 18 through the twenties are tough. So many peple have this concept that they owe it to themselves to sleep around. For those of us who have been cursed with notions of monogamy and love at such young ages, it can be quite painful.

    I too have never dated anyone for more than a month. And they were just casual dates, it seems anyone who likes me immensely I'm just not into and vice versa.

    When I first started dating I found myself going out with dudes old enough to be my dad simply due to the fact that they were the only ones looking for something serious.

    But i've decided that I want someone close to my age and that if I have to wait so be it. Try not to lose hope and try not to dwell on it too much. You're an attractive guy and if so many people can find their idea mate I'm sure we can too.

    Its just not going to be easy, but the majority of things worth having usually aren't.

    A lot of us want what you want, its just a matter of finding them and then deciding which one fits you the most.
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    Sep 28, 2007 9:40 PM GMT
    if you seek love NEVER give up.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 28, 2007 11:33 PM GMT
    JD I think part of it has to do with age and part is the internet. I have met some friends online but no one I would date. Also It took me until I was 34 to meet someone I really clicked with. Be patient. Not to say you would have to wait that long, it's just most- (I said MOST) guys your age 18-25-are interested in sex primarily. If you want a boyfriend or partner, I would recommend not having sex on a first date in your case or at least right away, also find out about the person before making intimate attachments. If they are worthy of you they will wait. I never had these problems when I only dated woman, but back then woman put the breaks on the speed of the relationship. I guess I sound old, but now it seems both sexes go right to a bj at the end of the night not just a kiss. You are not doing anything wrong just slow it down.

    Make sure you pick someone who wants the same, also remember guys say what you want to hear, but that is only in the begining. Meet their friends family members you will find out what type they are soon enough. It just takes some more work nowadays!

    Good Luck-Peace

    Mike3
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    Oct 03, 2007 1:17 AM GMT
    I will admit it. like being with more than one guy at a time, sue me and everyone else who feels the same. Why cant people just be themselves, Im amazed at how many times I have heard I love you from someone. Only to be cast away from the person because I dont choose them above other relationships. Wheres the unconditional love? Im aquarius and understand the meaning of universal love. Equal love.

    Most dont, so they kick me out of there life and call me a Hoe because i like sex and being with more than one guy? I enjoy NOT being in a commited relationship. Save your judgements monogomy group, non comittial people are too busy doing what we enjoy to hear them.

    If it wasnt for guys like me then you wouldnt have someone to cheer you up and have some good sex with in between relationships. Guys will continue to get mad at me and I will continue to have to keep bieng myself. Im not the one thats angry, I find what im looking for so they can get angry all they want. To me, the (Im the special-est if you dont love me the most, fuck you! attitude) is a selfish annoyance.

    Most of you could have a relationship but are too picky to go for someone with emotional baggage or less than perfect looks. So you have no one but to blame but yourself. Most of your arent blind nor disabled nor starving so, I say get over it. Theres more important things to realize are in your life. Love is all around you. If you reconize it, you will find it.
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    Oct 03, 2007 1:23 PM GMT
    1. When someone says "I love you" they should mean it and they shouldn't leave you if they truly love you...unless they see that it is for the best of both of you due to extenuating circumstances, whichever they may be.

    2. When you truly love someone, you shouldn't need someone else and according to the way you described yourself, you damn well better not be with someone if you aren't the type of person to hold a committed relationship. They're going keep leaving you and for a damn good reason. My father was this way until he got re-married.

    If you want equal love, go have sex with everyone you want, just be aware not to lead them on so you can later crush their hopes of having a nice, lasting boyfriend.

    I understand you but I do not agree with how you handle "love."
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    Oct 03, 2007 3:08 PM GMT
    You say you understand but dont agree. Your cant hold both sides of a coin at the same time. You dont understand, If you did you would see that Number 2. is possible. If I love someone, I can love another just as much or as equally.
    Love isint something you buy and put in a box for someone that you pick is worthy enough. Love is to be spread, free and unencumberd. Your not the judge of the love I give, Before GOD it would be reconized as the same.

    Theres no good reason to leave someone who you say you love. so if they love others as much as you. That is ego based and not uncondtional, therefore it wasnt love they wanted to give me but a little based on there own agenda. The ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME and no one else agenda. So easy it is to say those words, but it takes a real man to live up to them.

    I know what love IS and understand its uncondtional. Love is free, Love goes everywhere if you let it. I know I love all the guys I sleep with. Should anything ever happen to them. I would be there in a flash. By there side, Im there with unbiased advice when they feel the world becomes to much. To go out for a dinner if they feel lonely. To share affection if they need it, be there when there sick or watch there dog when there out of town. Im the guy you call to help paint your place or help move your furniture when you hate all your x's to much to call them.

    That IS true love. What a shame I say to spend such feelings on one person. True to my sign aquarius, im here to inspire postive spritual change in the world one person at at time, to as many people as possible. I cant do that by spending all my time with a specific someone for the rest of my life. I dont lead people on, my demeanor is as real as the missing Relationship text in my profile. I tell people straight up what im about when I meet them. The ones that understand my life are in my life, the ones that dont?

    I just hope they have someone as realiable and as loyal in there life as I.
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    Oct 03, 2007 6:21 PM GMT
    Dear jd1388 and mulattomacho, you come from opposite ends of the relationship spectrum. Depending on your personality type I believe it is possible to be happy and in love in an open relationship, as long as the two people in the relationship understand the ground rules and respect them. Obviously if one wants it to be monogamous then it will not work.

    I also believe for some people (like myself) monogamy is the only way to go. When I am in love I literally have no interest in another guy (I am serious here). I might admire other guys physiques or think they are sexy but have no desire to pursue them for sex. My partner is the same way. Is it being selfish? I don't think so, that is just the way we are, we don't feel like we are missing anything. Perhaps it has to do with the fact we are introverts, I don't know. All I know is that in my family tree all the males are like swans we mate for life (and it is not because we are homely quite the opposite)!