Romance On Internet (Or RJ)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2014 2:24 AM GMT
    The Internet romances men pursue are emotionally rich but physically barren. And these kinds of relationships are surging in popularity. UNLIKE hookups, these relationships are all about sharing your every thought, idea and emotional burp. But they are also, crucially, about being able to close your laptop and turn off your phone whenever you want to and continue about your life as you wish, unencumbered.

    A Soul Mate in a Box (Smiab, for short) is a person we rarely if ever meet and in some cases never speak to, but to whom we feel closer than anyone else. Maybe the relationship exists through instant messages, or over email, or via Skype, FaceTime and texting. Perhaps Snapchat allows the couple to exchange racy pictures, adding a glimpse of sexuality, if not sex. One couple liked to view each other on Skype but weren’t comfortable talking that way, so they’d instant message instead, watching each other click away at the keyboard as they swooned.

    How do these relationships start? Typically with two strangers crossing paths via social media: on Facebook, through dating sites or a sports sites like RJ or by retweeting and “favoriting” until tweeting turns to flirting. At the start it’s just harmless fun, a distraction. No need to think seriously about it, because what could happen? He lives 2,000 miles away!

    Ironically, it’s often this presumed lack of possibility that enables the couple to grow so close so fast. And soon their once dismissible flirtation has snowballed into the most obsessive relationship in their lives.

    We’re always searching for new ways of finding love that don’t involve having to feel insecure and vulnerable, because who wants to feel insecure and vulnerable? That’s the worst part of the whole love game, putting oneself out there to be judged and rejected. So when we get the chance to hide — whether through typed messages we can edit and control, or by saying whatever we’d like over Skype without expecting the relationship to ever turn physical — we’re freed from much of that anxiety.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/sunday-review/romance-at-arms-length.html
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    Feb 15, 2014 2:51 AM GMT

    Forgive me, but it sounds a little like reading a brochure instead of going on a trip, or watching a show about biking instead of experiencing it.

    While I think it a good start to a relationship, I think it sells the people involved short if that's all there is.

    -intrigued

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    Feb 15, 2014 3:35 AM GMT
    On the other hand, if you have no romantic interests in your "real life" it's nice to have someone with which to flirt and chat.
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    Feb 15, 2014 3:43 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidOn the other hand, if you have no romantic interests in your "real life" it's nice to have someone with which to flirt and chat.


    Absolutely!

    However, regarding the article: I think, though, that it's no escape form feeling insecure or from rejection. I've observed such things online all the time.
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    Feb 15, 2014 3:59 AM GMT
    I don't know how much I agree with online relationships being a way to escape rejection. Even if you develop a bond with someone through text alone, there's still a degree of pain when it all comes to an end. And if you find out he's a fake or a liar, that can be even worse.
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    Feb 15, 2014 1:41 PM GMT
    I think the moral of the story is to meet people in person..
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 15, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    Psycho-babble du jour.