Where Are the Quality Guys in NYC?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 2:35 AM GMT
    I'm dating again finally after my ex and I split up and while I previously avoided bad dates I just was setup this weekend by an acquaintance with a guy who is probably a bit crazy.... Besides not being my type something didn't seem right with him during the date and I had to end it early. Afterwards he sent me 4 long texts right after saying that he to "kiss me forever", to see me again the next day and also wanted me to move in with him... icon_eek.gif Had to block his number and this is the last time I'm being setup by anyone.

    Not sure getting setup by friends is the best route to go...

    Where have people had success with meeting normal guys, who can hold a conversation and are looking to date instead of just hookup or friends with benefits?

    The grocery aisle? Meetup.com? Online dating? Getting out and about?

    Each have their own drawback and I could start an entire thread of my experiences with trying various things. I feel I need to put myself "out there" more than I am but it's a lot of work and aside from the typical gay scene, I'm feeling a bit lost and clueless of how to meet quality guys in NYC. I think it comes down to how you approach dating and strategy.

    Any advice?
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Feb 18, 2014 2:48 AM GMT
    Don't know if anyone will read this.
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    Feb 18, 2014 12:20 PM GMT
    Try NYJacks. Top shelf. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Feb 18, 2014 3:59 PM GMT
    Guys in NYC have thousands of options, so there is little chance they will settle down.
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    Feb 18, 2014 4:20 PM GMT
    Great responses, guys. LOL!

    Honestly - I've decided it's kind of a numbers game. I'm rather particular/picky and into decidedly uncommon music/aesthetics...which makes it even more difficult - and so gay clubs/bars have the worst music for my tastes. Yuck.

    I think it's possible to meet people through any of a number of means in NYC. Truly! Do things YOU enjoy and have an open mind. Take classes in things your curious about. Don't discount the deli, laundry, gym, etc. I'm going to Out in Tech tonight. Lots of handsome (and successful) gay geeks. Kinda my MO aside from the art scene.

    I know it seems frustrating - take a brake from all of it if you need to - but one must be open to the right thing if/when it comes along. That's all I can tell ya. Oh... and I have NEVER allowed a friend to set me up on a date... there's few I would trust on that front. Hope you talked to your friend who did this "for you"... and found out how they know this class act.

    Come out to Mattachine at Julius Bar this Thursday night. Super fun ecclectic art-ish crowd...! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Julius-Bar/205011929560089
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 6:07 PM GMT
    WhoDey saidGuys in NYC have thousands of options, so there is little chance they will settle down.


    I thought this when I first moved here, but after 6 months I've realized the pool of guys isn't really that big. Atleast the ones I'm attracted to
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    Feb 18, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    We would say if you want to meet good stable gay men.Volunteer for a gay charity.Go to LGBT events like parties for gay charities.Seek out local gay friendly Churches.The Episcopal Church is like a gay tea dance every Sunday lol.Happy Hunting and good luck.icon_smile.gif Ryan and Ruben.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 18, 2014 6:22 PM GMT
    Wow , this kind of confirms my feelings about NY. I love to visit but think maybe the cities like NY, London, et al are great from great hotels but missing something that brings people together. I mean you're a great looking guy and sound terrific. My guy and I are an unlikely pair and we met online, talked online for a couple of weeks, hooked up for a sex date and have been together for going on seven years. I say just try that. Spend some time getting to know someone online before you meet and if he doesn't want to do that, well he's probably not the guy for you. That might be my only useful advice except maybe don't go looking for a "type" other than the non-negotiables (mine are educated and curious) and be open to surprises. I'm a banker who hooked up with a film artist. Who would have guessed we would click?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 6:49 PM GMT
    The quality guys in NYC? They're in New Jersey, of course! icon_cool.gif
  • musclpa

    Posts: 97

    Feb 18, 2014 7:36 PM GMT
    There are none
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 7:38 PM GMT
    Hello!

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    (let's see the crap I get from THIS)
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    Feb 18, 2014 7:40 PM GMT
    Cash saidHello!

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    (let's see the crap I get from THIS)


    agreed. keeping an eye on this one from the get-go. This thread is a prime target for a flamer war
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 7:42 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidIf they're good, they'll be taken already unless you're catching them young not yet in a relationship, in a relationship or finishing up with one.


    In other words single...

    icon_question.gif?icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 7:43 PM GMT
    Cash said
    woodsmen saidIf they're good, they'll be taken already unless you're catching them young not yet in a relationship, in a relationship or finishing up with one.


    In other words single...

    icon_question.gif?icon_confused.gif


    lol, they won't be single unless they're single
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 8:02 PM GMT
    If you are not meeting quality Men - perhaps "you" are the problem???

    Just wondering.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 8:52 PM GMT
    As someone who just moved here...how about a more basic search for friends? Haha

    I checked out nowhere bar this past weekend but really wasn't my thing. Any suggestions for a transplant?
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    Feb 18, 2014 10:14 PM GMT
    Too many choices I guess. Most of the quality guys won't be bar-hopping or booze drinking every weekend. They either volunteer, do something active or already have bfs. I have problem in this department too in the Los Angeles region.
  • Thicktoes

    Posts: 28

    Feb 18, 2014 11:49 PM GMT
    i didnt have any trouble meeting a quality guy once i moved to nyc, i actually met him here on realjock.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:07 AM GMT
    Maybe they're all in another State? Clearly not in Massachusetts! JK
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    OP, how would you define a quality guy? What are your non-negotiables?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:10 AM GMT
    New York City is not really that sort of place for deep relationships. Move to a smaller city.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:11 AM GMT
    If you think it's tough in NYC, try any other small town city in America.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:31 AM GMT
    If You hang in bars with a bunch of Dudes whose main objective is to get as many bottomless martinis as possible before happy hour ends...don't be surprised at what you get,

    NYC is the cultural Mecca of the world.

    Put on a decent outfit, set your sights REALLY high and GO OUT - to something other than a place where the greatest attraction is 2-4-1 jello shots.

    Read a book.

    See a show.

    Go to a Movie.

    Have something to say.

    You want a HOT Guy - BE a HOT Guy...

    It ain't that hard Boys.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2014 12:31 AM GMT
    WhoDey saidGuys in NYC have thousands of options, so there is little chance they will settle down.


    ignorance = youth
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    Feb 19, 2014 4:52 AM GMT
    I have met some really nice guys in the summer hanging out in Union Square. Also a scary contortionist, but you take the good with the bad.