Never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter,

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    Feb 18, 2014 11:46 AM GMT
    I know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 18, 2014 11:58 AM GMT
    Keep your hopes up. It'll happen. In the meantime, do you have any theories or guesses about why this has been the case for you so far?
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    Feb 18, 2014 12:02 PM GMT
    duluthrunner saidKeep your hopes up. It'll happen. In the meantime, do you have any theories or guesses about why this has been the case for you so far?


    Well as for only being out just over a year and a severe lack of confidence to do with relationships and a lack of a social life, also even before i was out i never had a girlfriend as i always knew i was gay so... there are a lot of obstacles i have but don't lads see inexperience etc a put off.
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    Feb 18, 2014 12:41 PM GMT
    posted in a better forum
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    Feb 18, 2014 12:55 PM GMT
    thanks for sharing.
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    Feb 18, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    Dennis89 saidposted in a better forum
    It disappeared in the newer forum icon_cry.gif
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 18, 2014 5:52 PM GMT
    You need to build your confidence more while at the same time keep looking.

    Might I ask what sort of hobbies you do? My confidence was very low for a while then took part in other things such as weight lifting and taking part in social groups such as running.
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    Feb 18, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    MarkW1 saidYou need to build your confidence more while at the same time keep looking.

    Might I ask what sort of hobbies you do? My confidence was very low for a while then took part in other things such as weight lifting and taking part in social groups such as running.


    My hobbies tend to be listening music occasional reading and i got into my weightlifting at the gym which is a great focus other than that i dont have any social life and to be honest my town aint the best place.
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 18, 2014 6:12 PM GMT
    At this point it may be best for you to do some research to find close LGBT groups (or anything else - it would be best for you to do this, that way you'll be interacting with more people and build some confidence icon_smile.gif same goes for you tortoise_sex
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 18, 2014 6:15 PM GMT
    tortoise_sex said
    MarkW1 saidAt this point it may be best for you to do some research to find close LGBT groups (or anything else - it would be best for you to do this, that way you'll be interacting with more people and build some confidence icon_smile.gif same goes for you tortoise_sex


    i've actually been doing that. actually emailed the north jersey pride group about a week ago and they still haven't emailed me back. icon_mad.gif

    if they haven't responded then you should either try emailing again, phone them or look for other groups icon_smile.gif
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 18, 2014 6:24 PM GMT
    find some online social groups. i'm part of one, if you want. i can add you both to it if you'd like to chat with them. A lot of the time they talk about video games if that's ok
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Feb 18, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    tortoise_sex said
    MarkW1 saidfind some online social groups. i'm part of one, if you want. i can add you both to it if you'd like to chat with them. A lot of the time they talk about video games if that's ok


    isn't real jock sort of like an online social group though?

    it's a skype group. if either of you are interested PM me
  • goodmagic

    Posts: 191

    Feb 18, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    Dennis89 saidI know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif
    icon_mad.gif

    i was 24 when I had one. Maybe you should check out neighboring cites or a bigger city.You need to be more proactive. Noone is gonna want to be with you if you have a hopeless attitude. That's a turn off.

    Also what can you bring to the table? Gays who want a relationship want more than just sex. I can tell you one thing don't rely on online guys as your only source.Hit the club, bookstore, bathhouse,gym, houseparty, hardware store, and i have had good luck at meeting guys at Sunglasses Hut. Market more whine less! If you still can't find get a makeover.
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    Feb 18, 2014 6:55 PM GMT
    When i am in a up mood like i am now i feel yeah i can get out but like another said money is a issue to get out of town etc, erm what can i bring to the table well i love to chat about anything i can do things that you dont need money for eg go for runs and just go for coffee etc my sense of humor is one of the best i can laugh at anything and i mean anything even myself haha.
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    Feb 19, 2014 7:00 AM GMT
    wow, dennis, i feel like im in the same situation. it sucks, with the addition of an introverted personality to my low self-confidence i make a perfectly non-dateable person...
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    Feb 19, 2014 11:26 AM GMT
    enelabs7 saidwow, dennis, i feel like im in the same situation. it sucks, with the addition of an introverted personality to my low self-confidence i make a perfectly non-dateable person...
    I have been told that i am the most introverted person they have ever met and i agree but on the same level i agree i am not shy i just lack self esteem and confidence
  • carew28

    Posts: 661

    Feb 19, 2014 7:46 PM GMT
    Actually, you're better off without one. They just aren't worth the trouble.
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    Feb 19, 2014 11:23 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidChange your thinking from:

    Never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter

    to

    Haven't yet had a boyfriend or anything for that matter

    It's much less negative and defeatist and will help your perspective.

    It will happen, just give it time. icon_wink.gif
    ive give it 25 years so far how much longer ?haha but i do get your point icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 19, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    I never had my first bf until I was 24. In fact, that was the first anyone I ever dated. Just relax, go with the flow, don't force it and it'll happen when you least expect it.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Feb 20, 2014 12:21 AM GMT
    Dennis89 saidI know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif


    I once read an article by a woman who said that she hated when people told her things like "you never been in a relationship? But you're so attractive!"

    I totally understand that. Even then, I still find myself feeling like that. I don't understand attractive people that can't get a date. OP, you're a really attractive man. The most attractive people with the ugliest souls can get someone. The ugliest people with the ugliest souls can get people. It's all about knowing what you want, knowing yourself (to a degree) and making an effort to get what you want.

    It might be the fact that you haven't opened yourself up very much. Would you say that was a wrong or unfair conclusion?
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    Feb 20, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
    SuntoryTime said
    Dennis89 saidI know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif


    I once read an article by a woman who said that she hated when people told her things like "you never been in a relationship? But you're so attractive!"

    I totally understand that. Even then, I still find myself feeling like that. I don't understand attractive people that can't get a date. OP, you're a really attractive man. The most attractive people with the ugliest souls can get someone. The ugliest people with the ugliest souls can get people. It's all about knowing what you want, knowing yourself (to a degree) and making an effort to get what you want.

    It might be the fact that you haven't opened yourself up very much. Would you say that was a wrong or unfair conclusion?


    you my friend are a wise man, gave me a lot to think about myself...
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    Feb 20, 2014 1:12 AM GMT
    carew28 saidActually, you're better off without one. They just aren't worth the trouble.

    Hogwash! I'll take a human teddy bear anyday, over worrying about if they left dishes in the sink or wanted to watch something else on the TV. Life is all about give and take at home and work.
    Learn to share yourself and your space and you might just find some happiness one day.
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    Feb 20, 2014 9:49 AM GMT
    enelabs7 said
    SuntoryTime said
    Dennis89 saidI know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif


    I once read an article by a woman who said that she hated when people told her things like "you never been in a relationship? But you're so attractive!"

    I totally understand that. Even then, I still find myself feeling like that. I don't understand attractive people that can't get a date. OP, you're a really attractive man. The most attractive people with the ugliest souls can get someone. The ugliest people with the ugliest souls can get people. It's all about knowing what you want, knowing yourself (to a degree) and making an effort to get what you want.

    It might be the fact that you haven't opened yourself up very much. Would you say that was a wrong or unfair conclusion?


    you my friend are a wise man, gave me a lot to think about myself...
    Gave me alot to think about also so thank you, the only thing is it seems like everyone my age who i know of or see around is in a relationship and they had relationships at school/college and im yet to start anything at all at my age being 25 this year, i wouldnt say i am a closed person because i can talk to anyone and have a laugh just seemed that no on has ever fancied me, the only thing i can put it all down to is my life long lack of a social circle never havingfriends even when younger and now and when i was growing up the girls just didnt do it for me also thank you for your compliments
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Feb 20, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    Dennis89 said
    enelabs7 said
    SuntoryTime said
    Dennis89 saidI know there are a few topics on this but wanted to start my own, as the subject i have never had a boyfriend or anything for that matter, i am 25 and losing hope of any for of relationship with anyone icon_sad.gif


    I once read an article by a woman who said that she hated when people told her things like "you never been in a relationship? But you're so attractive!"

    I totally understand that. Even then, I still find myself feeling like that. I don't understand attractive people that can't get a date. OP, you're a really attractive man. The most attractive people with the ugliest souls can get someone. The ugliest people with the ugliest souls can get people. It's all about knowing what you want, knowing yourself (to a degree) and making an effort to get what you want.

    It might be the fact that you haven't opened yourself up very much. Would you say that was a wrong or unfair conclusion?


    you my friend are a wise man, gave me a lot to think about myself...
    Gave me alot to think about also so thank you, the only thing is it seems like everyone my age who i know of or see around is in a relationship and they had relationships at school/college and im yet to start anything at all at my age being 25 this year, i wouldnt say i am a closed person because i can talk to anyone and have a laugh just seemed that no on has ever fancied me, the only thing i can put it all down to is my life long lack of a social circle never havingfriends even when younger and now and when i was growing up the girls just didnt do it for me also thank you for your compliments


    When I say “you haven’t opened up yourself very much” what I mean is that I doubt you’ve taken real chances or truly worked at getting a date.

    Dennis89just seemed that no on has ever fancied me


    To be blunt - that’s bullshit and I believe it’s an excuse. Keep using that excuse and you’ll never get a date. Men far less attractive than you have little to no problems getting a date. You live in a country with same sex marriage rights, that’s smaller than California, with around 15 million more people than that state. You’re less than an hour away from Manchester and Liverpool. C’mon man. You haven’t dated because you haven’t allowed yourself to date.

    If you want to find a date or even enter into a relationship you MUST do two things: take a chance and work for it.
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    Feb 20, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    well maybe after my coming out a year ago and settling down with my self about things then now is the time i am putting my self out there and nothing will stop me icon_smile.gif