Boyfriend on squirt

  • guy_user1988

    Posts: 1

    Feb 18, 2014 12:40 PM GMT
    Hi everyone, I am just looking for some advice about a current situation that I am in.

    So I've been seeing my boyfriend for a year, and everything had been going pretty well. A few issues here and there but nothing to end the relationship over. About a month ago something came up that made me pretty upset and now I'm questioning everything.

    He had to go out of town for a course he was taking and is to be gone for 6 weeks. We talked abut how we would handle it and he said he would msg and call me often. He even took a picture of me with him to put by his bed.

    I started worrying pretty quickly as I didn't hear from him about as much as I wanted too and when I did it was mostly about how he was doing. One night I was worried and started looking onto dating sites as I knew he used them before we meet and I found him on he had naked pictures of himself up and indicated he was looking for local guys. He was online at the time I checked.

    I was pretty devestated. I didn't approach him about it until a few days
    After since I didn't know what to say and didn't wanna say something I regretted. When I did tell him that I knew and that I was upset he said he had never met anyone and only uses it cause the idea of guys around him looking for sex turns him on and he use to cruise around a lot before meeting me.

    He didn't even really apologize and said he would face the consequences of his actions. But said he really loved me. After that I didn't hear from him for 7 days and his profile was still up. The only msg I got from him was him saying "I know your not too keen on me right now but I love you"

    Livid, I called him and asked him why he hasn't try to reach me or take down his account. He said pretty much that he didn't know what my expectations were about how he should fix our relationship and that it was up to me to talk to him and tell him what to do.... he also said he didn't think it was a big deal that he was on squirt. He then said that I have trouble communicating and that this was a two way street...

    I guess I just thought if he was sorry and felt bad he would at least make an attempt to console me or something... he has since removed his profile but we haven't talked in a week and he comes back at the end of the month.

    Things just went so poorly so quickly. He had even talked about moving in together. I knew he liked looking at guys and watched a lot of porn but this is just too much... especially since we assured each other we were committed and monogamous

    I'm pretty sure I know what I have to do... I guess I'd just like a second option or thoughts about all this. Should I have been a the one to try to fix this? I don't think I did anything wrong....

  • Feb 18, 2014 1:34 PM GMT
    This sounds very similar to my last relationship. Things were going well, until I found my ex-bf on Adam. He pretty much said the same thing your bf did. He deleted the account, but in the end, I snooped around and found out that he made other accounts on different websites while dating. To be honest, they don't really change. I think you know what you need to do.
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    Feb 18, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    I was living with a guy, and we were having monogamous sex. But he did always make it clear that he wasn't ready yet to have a permanent exclusive relationship, if ever. It was my first time living with a man, and I naively thought maybe if he lived with a steady BF (his first as well as mine) and having regular sex he'd finally want to settle down with me alone.

    He had business in NYC that took him away for 6 weeks, while I stayed at his house by myself. In his emails he soon started telling me about his sexual adventures, like going to sex parties. I felt let-down, but I couldn't say I was surprised.

    I asked him if he'd object to my own fun & games, and he said no. So I started cruising the local gay club and did fairly well, tricking several times a week but always at the places of the other guys. The house where I was living belonged to my BF, and I wouldn't take anyone there, that just seemed taboo.

    Thinking I might make him jealous I emailed what I was doing. He wrote back he wanted more details, and to turn my accounts into full-fledged stories for him to read! He wanted to jerk off to them! Well, THAT didn't turn out as I had imagined. icon_sad.gif

    Things were still pretty good with us when he finally returned home, although a few times he got us into 3 and 4-ways, also new for me. But then one day he became physically abusive to me, for refusing his sexual advances at lunchtime when I was really tired, and he roughed me up, giving me bruises.

    It was one thing for him to be emotionally inconsiderate to me, but physically abusive as well was too much. I immediately made plans to move out, and did.

    I began to learn that gay leopards can't change their spots. If you wanna have a fuck buddy (or FWB) who isn't monogamous that's fine, so long as you understand that's all you're gonna get out of him (other than an STD if your sex isn't safe).

    But if you want a monogamous BF, rather than an open relationship that some guys have, then any fucking around is not acceptable. He's YOUR BF, you get to set that criteria. He either accepts those rules or he's gone. And the same applies to you. Cheat on him and he should kick you out just as quickly.
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    Feb 18, 2014 2:52 PM GMT
    What hell it must be to be so neurotic that when your BF leaves for anything, you start cruising online to search for him.
    This is why everyone should have some sort of open relationship, so you can exist honestly without always checking online for him.
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    Feb 18, 2014 11:16 PM GMT
    ...and you're on this site only to get advice. Uh huh!
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    Feb 19, 2014 2:41 AM GMT
    Just gonna post what I posted on a similar-themed thread cuz I'm lazy.

    hentailover saidStandard RJ response would be: "Why were YOU snooping through his phone? Sounds like YOU'RE the one with insecurity issues! You have only yourself to blame for driving him away to a cocksucking bari/geriatric! And why AREN'T you in a open relationship like the rest of us? That would've solved everything!"

    I see someone already said the same thing, except with a straight face.