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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2014 8:32 PM GMT
    a
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    Feb 18, 2014 8:36 PM GMT
    Don't worry about lack of experience. We all start somewhere right?
    And when you do find a guy just make sure he is patient and doesn't rush you
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    Feb 18, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    I didn't start till I was 21, gay men tend to start later in life besides the ones who come out as teens
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    Feb 18, 2014 9:03 PM GMT
    My first bf and I were only together a few months. Choose carefully lol
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    Feb 19, 2014 5:17 AM GMT
    Contrary to gay doctrine, you don't have to "experiment" with a bunch of guys before settling down with your long-term boyfriend. Learning intimacy together is a great way to gel a relationship. Even if a guy you are seeing has had a lot more sex, if he is worth your time, he'll be patient.

    When I first came out and started dating guys, my utter lack of experience was the last thing on my mind. "Sex" was whatever I wanted it to be... what comes naturally may not be what you see in porn, and is probably better
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    Feb 19, 2014 9:19 PM GMT
    Depend on the guy, I think being inexperience/virgin can be a turn on. I can taint him or teach him Lol. It's normal, just go with your comfort level on doing certain sexual **Things.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Feb 19, 2014 9:20 PM GMT
    Kiss and cuddle, man. And being inexperienced will be a turn-on to the right guy. Behemoth is right-- make sure he is patient and doesn't rush you. In all things. But don't be shy to ask for what you want-- there is no right or wrong or good or bad. Trust me, he will enjoy watching you experiment and have fun.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 19, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidwhat comes naturally may not be what you see in porn, and is probably better

    This is so very true. One of the ways these times are different than the past is the overwhelming availability of gay porn to really anyone online who goes looking for it. On one hand I think this is a good thing, it sort of 'normalizes' gay sex in a sense or at least gives young gay guys the idea that it isn't all *that* unusual. They aren't alone. But, on the other hand, it is a distortion of the reality. It is all sex, the guys are almost always totally hot, there's usually a scenario that goes from making out (often not enough of that) to sucking dick to rimming to fucking to getting off and that's more or less that.

    WELL… not saying it can't ever be like that but it just isn't accurate in my experience. Like godday is suggesting, sex can be a lot of things and doesn't have to be confined to what you see in a porn script. There needs to be room for discussion (what you want and like and what you don't, what gets you hot, what freaks you out); room for playfulness, experimentation and fun; room for intimacy and bonding and just *being* together, getting to know one another physically and sexually.

    In any case, OP, don't make this into a bigger deal than it is. Ok, so you're not experienced. I think so long as you're open and honest about that and make it clear you're interested in learning new things, all will be well. Many guys like taking on that 'sex tutor' role. On the other hand, some aren't 'into' that and may not be interested in you (now) because of it.

    Take away: Relax, dude, its all good. icon_wink.gif
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Feb 21, 2014 4:54 AM GMT
    read books.
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    Feb 21, 2014 6:28 AM GMT
    I wouldn't worry it'll happen when it happens
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Mar 01, 2014 5:33 PM GMT
    I'll give you a hand
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    Mar 02, 2014 10:29 AM GMT
    Go up to a handsome guy in a bar (gay bars work best) and ask if he could give you your first kiss from a guy. He will almost certainly say yes.

    This also works when it is not really your first kiss from a guy icon_twisted.gif
  • Al3cBui

    Posts: 43

    Mar 03, 2014 2:04 AM GMT
    So many good advice. I think OP should update this thread with his new experience to see if the advice really works.

    Just kidding. I have an older friend who is very strict about sex, he wouldn't just go out and have sex with anyone he meets in the bar. Yet he met his hubby 5 years ago and they have been together since then. Very happy couple I must add. So I guess when it's right then you will know it. Don't rush into things. Especially if you are the type of person who wants to have a long term relationship, not just some random hookups.
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Mar 03, 2014 5:49 AM GMT
    Al3cBui saidI have an older friend who is very strict about sex, he wouldn't just go out and have sex with anyone he meets in the bar.


    lol that's considered "very strict"??
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    Mar 03, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    Wow. So much advice that leads to becoming the 40 y/o virgin. There is nothing wrong with playing safely. Nor is there anything wrong with a first relationship that only lasts a few months. It's a learning process. I've known quite a few guys who married the first girl they had sex with and were miserable for the rest of their lives. Fairy tails are a waste of life.
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Mar 03, 2014 6:09 AM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidContrary to gay doctrine, you don't have to "experiment" with a bunch of guys before settling down with your long-term boyfriend. Learning intimacy together is a great way to gel a relationship. Even if a guy you are seeing has had a lot more sex, if he is worth your time, he'll be patient.

    When I first came out and started dating guys, my utter lack of experience was the last thing on my mind. "Sex" was whatever I wanted it to be... what comes naturally may not be what you see in porn, and is probably better


    ^^This is so key. Also you will find that the guys urging you and others to put out more are also at a stage of life where there's a vested interest in increasing their own odds with younger men.
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    Mar 03, 2014 6:54 AM GMT
    What are you looking for?
    Sexual partners won't really care if you hold hands or not.
    A boyfriend would potentially be forgiving with your lack of experience.

    Your lack of experience won't be a problem if you're not shameful or embarrassed around sex or discussion sexual attraction and if you can communicate with a potential partner.
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    Mar 03, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
    The first guy I snogged was when I was 19, I was in a gay bar with some uni friends and he came up to me and asked if I had a boyfriend and if I wanted a snog. It was a big surprise because up until then only unattractive guys had shown interest (that I noticed). I was so nervous about it that I walked off straight after! The next time I saw him he was in a boy band on the TV icon_eek.gif
  • Al3cBui

    Posts: 43

    Mar 04, 2014 3:12 AM GMT
    Ohno saidThe first guy I snogged was when I was 19, I was in a gay bar with some uni friends and he came up to me and asked if I had a boyfriend and if I wanted a snog. It was a big surprise because up until then only unattractive guys had shown interest (that I noticed). I was so nervous about it that I walked off straight after! The next time I saw him he was in a boy band on the TV icon_eek.gif



    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    You kissed a celebrity!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:54 AM GMT
    it's better to wait and have a (physical or emotional or both) chemistry with someone for your first time rather than doing it to cross it off the list. As others mention, be patient, someone dear will come along and take you through the ropes.

    I have been around the block long enough to know that being inexperience at the age of 25 doesn't cross you off from other guy's lists. It's quite the contrary, and you will find that men are more accommodating as long as you let them know. Hell I love showing the ropes to people older than me. It's very endearing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:56 AM GMT
    Al3cBui said
    Ohno saidThe first guy I snogged was when I was 19, I was in a gay bar with some uni friends and he came up to me and asked if I had a boyfriend and if I wanted a snog. It was a big surprise because up until then only unattractive guys had shown interest (that I noticed). I was so nervous about it that I walked off straight after! The next time I saw him he was in a boy band on the TV icon_eek.gif



    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    You kissed a celebrity!!!


    I don't think the boyband was around for that long unfortunately. Plus there have been so many boybands in the UK that statistically we are were all in one at one point (or something like that).