Why is it fine for straight people to refuse to date older people or to not be interested in other races, but it's "ageist" and/or "racist" if gays do it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2014 10:02 PM GMT
    And when I say fine I mean that people don't care. Not even old heteros (over 50) care. It's also OK for straight to only date their own and nobody of any other race feels offended or cares. Some blacks only date blacks and it's OK. Some whites date whites and it's OK. Why are these two things such big issues in the gay community? Can't people have their tastes and be happy? icon_question.gif Please not trollish, racist or ignorant comments. I want valid points. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2014 10:41 PM GMT
    Gay people can't find enough to complain about. I'm still trying to figure it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2014 10:44 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidGay people can't find enough to complain about. I'm still trying to figure it out.


    icon_lol.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 18, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    Xavier92 said"Why is it fine for straight people to refuse to date older people or to not be interested in other races, but it's "ageist" and/or "racist" if gays do it?"

    Ermmm… who said they are or can't?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    Well to use one example, if someone left a country where homosexuality was illegal and arrived in a new place they might find it depressing if nobody there found them attractive (not that that part is ever completely true).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2014 11:08 PM GMT
    Ohno saidWell to use one example, if someone left a country where homosexuality was illegal and arrived in a new place they might find it depressing if nobody there found them attractive (not that that part is ever completely true).


    Well, good point. But I think there will always be someone attracted to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    As far as race goes I could argue that there are many heterosexuals couples that are interracial. That's probably more true in large urban areas where there's likely to be a bigger mix of races. I certainly see many interracial couples in in the San Francisco Bay Area. Perhaps where you are in the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico there isn't as much racial diversity.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Feb 19, 2014 3:49 AM GMT
    I think I might be revealing myself too much but here it goes...

    I don't give a shit about who you're attracted to. It's your life and do whatever you want. Just be honest.

    (A part of being completely honest with yourself is knowing that you're a product of your environment and your experiences.)

    A part of being completely honest with yourself is understanding that your brain works in a way to salvage your self image and self-esteem. You are not a total rational being. You'll seek information that'll make you feel better about yourself regardless if it's true, false, helpful, or harmful. Some people understand this to a point. Others are oblivious to this fact.

    For instance, confirmation bias. A lot of people seek information that agrees with them. This thread. See how you responded to the first post that agreed with what you wanted to see replied to your thread?

    Truth is, ageism is big in the straight community. Many of my single straight friends bring up age differences in dating all the time.

    Your thread implies that straights don't have issues with age but there are tons of instances in movies, novels, etc, where the issue is brought up.

    My suggestion to you, thread creator, is to open your mind. Quit with the selection bias and TRULY challenge yourself once in a while.

    I don't expect you to change your opinions, but maybe you'll grow a little bit wiser.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 19, 2014 4:25 AM GMT
    I think stereo typing is way over used and is usually incorrect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 8:49 AM GMT
    Who said it's fine for straight people to be ageist or racist?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 9:42 AM GMT
    How come I'm not allowed to have a thing for beards, but my roommate can have a collection of anal beads? He even makes arts and crafts with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
    SuntoryTime saidI think I might be revealing myself too much but here it goes...

    I don't give a shit about who you're attracted to. It's your life and do whatever you want. Just be honest.

    (A part of being completely honest with yourself is knowing that you're a product of your environment and your experiences.)

    A part of being completely honest with yourself is understanding that your brain works in a way to salvage your self image and self-esteem. You are not a total rational being. You'll seek information that'll make you feel better about yourself regardless if it's true, false, helpful, or harmful. Some people understand this to a point. Others are oblivious to this fact.

    For instance, confirmation bias. A lot of people seek information that agrees with them. This thread. See how you responded to the first post that agreed with what you wanted to see replied to your thread?

    Truth is, ageism is big in the straight community. Many of my single straight friends bring up age differences in dating all the time.

    Your thread implies that straights don't have issues with age but there are tons of instances in movies, novels, etc, where the issue is brought up.

    My suggestion to you, thread creator, is to open your mind. Quit with the selection bias and TRULY challenge yourself once in a while.

    I don't expect you to change your opinions, but maybe you'll grow a little bit wiser.


    Just what I was expecting. The whole "open your mind" crap. My point is that why can't people (gay men in this case) mentally get over the fact that not everyone will be attracted to them and that just because someone doesn't want to date or have sex with them, doesn't mean they're assholes. It's just how human sexuality works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 10:35 PM GMT
    it's fucking racist no matter what way you swing it simple as that. Sexuality doesn't factor into small mentality views.

    I don't want to date them because they are black.

    I don't want to date them because they are asian.

    I don't want to date them because they are not the ethnicity that I find appropriate.

    conversely

    I don't want to date them because they are an arrogant arsehole.

    I don't want to date them because they aren't sexually a good fit.

    I don't want to date them because certain qualities of that person aren't right for me.

    One helps to define an entire race of people the other helps define the individual.

    And no it's not okay and it never is okay. Just because you have a few straight people around you who are biggots and think it's okay doesn't mean this applies to all straight people.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 19, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    Racist people think it's OK to reject people based on race, yet they lose their damn minds the second they are being rejected by people who are against racism.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 11:38 PM GMT
    Xavier92 said

    Just what I was expecting. The whole "open your mind" crap. My point is that why can't people (gay men in this case) mentally get over the fact that not everyone will be attracted to them and that just because someone doesn't want to date or have sex with them, doesn't mean they're assholes. It's just how human sexuality works.


    It's not just people who fit those categories that are going to be put off by your preferences, there might be some guy who is the right age and ethnicity you're looking for in a partner, who isn't bothered by age or ethnicity, but does find it off-putting that you would say "not into blacks/not into older guys."

    Prejudices are not a very flattering thing to put out there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 11:51 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidit's fucking racist no matter what way you swing it simple as that. Sexuality doesn't factor into small mentality views.

    I don't want to date them because they are black.

    I don't want to date them because they are asian.

    I don't want to date them because they are not the ethnicity that I find appropriate.

    conversely

    I don't want to date them because they are an arrogant arsehole.

    I don't want to date them because they aren't sexually a good fit.

    I don't want to date them because certain qualities of that person aren't right for me.

    One helps to define an entire race of people the other helps define the individual.

    And no it's not okay and it never is okay. Just because you have a few straight people around you who are biggots and think it's okay doesn't mean this applies to all straight people.


    Bigots? Bigots because they don't want to have sex with someone older or from a different race? *facepalm* You can be friends with anyone but not be attracted to them or have sex with them. There is no such thing as "sexual racism", it's just preferences. Socializing is one thing and sexuality is another thing. The only people I've noticed complain about these things are gay men. Not even lesbians do that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2014 11:54 PM GMT
    This thread is racist and ageist and sexist and lameist.
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Feb 19, 2014 11:59 PM GMT
    Xavier92 said
    SuntoryTime saidI think I might be revealing myself too much but here it goes...

    I don't give a shit about who you're attracted to. It's your life and do whatever you want. Just be honest.

    (A part of being completely honest with yourself is knowing that you're a product of your environment and your experiences.)

    A part of being completely honest with yourself is understanding that your brain works in a way to salvage your self image and self-esteem. You are not a total rational being. You'll seek information that'll make you feel better about yourself regardless if it's true, false, helpful, or harmful. Some people understand this to a point. Others are oblivious to this fact.

    For instance, confirmation bias. A lot of people seek information that agrees with them. This thread. See how you responded to the first post that agreed with what you wanted to see replied to your thread?

    Truth is, ageism is big in the straight community. Many of my single straight friends bring up age differences in dating all the time.

    Your thread implies that straights don't have issues with age but there are tons of instances in movies, novels, etc, where the issue is brought up.

    My suggestion to you, thread creator, is to open your mind. Quit with the selection bias and TRULY challenge yourself once in a while.

    I don't expect you to change your opinions, but maybe you'll grow a little bit wiser.


    Just what I was expecting. The whole "open your mind" crap. My point is that why can't people (gay men in this case) mentally get over the fact that not everyone will be attracted to them and that just because someone doesn't want to date or have sex with them, doesn't mean they're assholes. It's just how human sexuality works.


    Of course you were expecting it. Threads like these aren't made to promote productive and honest dialogue.

    I see that I've wasted time. Have fun in your state of perpetual indignation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2014 12:01 AM GMT
    hellass saidThis thread is racist and ageist and sexist and lameist.


    Gay men are sexist. They refuse to have sex with women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    Xavier92 said
    hellass saidThis thread is racist and ageist and sexist and lameist.


    Gay men are sexist. They refuse to have sex with women.


    That's not true. Many gay men have had sex with women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2014 12:40 AM GMT
    hellass said
    Xavier92 said
    hellass saidThis thread is racist and ageist and sexist and lameist.


    Gay men are sexist. They refuse to have sex with women.


    That's not true. Many gay men have had sex with women.


    Because of society and heterosexism, not because they wanted too. If they wanted too then they are bisexual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2014 1:50 AM GMT
    I tell ya what's NOT cool. Calling everyone over 50 "old." Dude.....I honestly thought you were over 50 by looking at your pic, and was shocked to see your age listed as 22. How the fuck do you think that makes people over 50 feel when you label them as "old?" I got news for you; you are NOT aging well so I'd back off with the ageist stones you're throwing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2014 2:03 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI tell ya what's NOT cool. Calling everyone over 50 "old." Dude.....I honestly thought you were over 50 by looking at your pic, and was shocked to see your age listed as 22. How the fuck do you think that makes people over 50 feel when you label them as "old?" I got news for you; you are NOT aging well so I'd back off with the ageist stones you're throwing.

    People over 30 are old. Over 50 and you're a geriatric geezer.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 20, 2014 2:05 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    Scruffypup saidI tell ya what's NOT cool. Calling everyone over 50 "old." Dude.....I honestly thought you were over 50 by looking at your pic, and was shocked to see your age listed as 22. How the fuck do you think that makes people over 50 feel when you label them as "old?" I got news for you; you are NOT aging well so I'd back off with the ageist stones you're throwing.

    People over 30 are old. Over 50 and you're a geriatric geezer.

    True, true. But only those of us who are can say that and get away with it icon_razz.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 20, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    TheWhiteMan said
    Scruffypup saidI tell ya what's NOT cool. Calling everyone over 50 "old." Dude.....I honestly thought you were over 50 by looking at your pic, and was shocked to see your age listed as 22. How the fuck do you think that makes people over 50 feel when you label them as "old?" I got news for you; you are NOT aging well so I'd back off with the ageist stones you're throwing.

    But at least he actually is still young

    LOL yeah, for a few more years. 8 if he's telling the truth; but for all we know he's already pushing 40.