Complimenting Men

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 3:17 PM GMT
    Do you guys give compliments to other men in person? (i.e. not talking about photo comments here). I'm talking about your friends, coworkers, etc.

    I find it easier to do on the field...during or after a game, "hey man, nice catch" or "you did really good out there today". sport-ish kind of compliments. but i don't really do this in any other situation. there's lots of reasons to give a man a compliment...well dressed, good at their job, fitness improvements, etc.

    it seems to me that women have an easier (or at least, they do it more often) time--if they are well dressed or whatever.

    what say you RJ?
  • anketa

    Posts: 37

    Feb 21, 2014 3:53 PM GMT
    I do. And I don't do it just to make someone like me. I pay a sincere compliment every time something catches my eye.
    It could be something like "I like your jacket", or "Nice shoes", or "I so would like to be as smart as you are, you were excellent in that situation..."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 3:57 PM GMT
    Yeah I do it all the time as long as they don't know i'm Homo. Like anketa it's a sincere compliment and not something to try and make them like me. If they end up knowing that I am gay then I back off a bit. Even though it's not my intent, they might begin to question whether or not there are hidden motives behind what I'm saying (I.E. flirting, trying to pick up, etc...).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 4:05 PM GMT
    anketa saidI do. And I don't do it just to make someone like me. I pay a sincere compliment every time something catches my eye.
    It could be something like "I like your jacket", or "Nice shoes", or "I so would like to be as smart as you are, you were excellent in that situation..."


    Same here. There has to be a reason and not to be liked. I give men and women compliments: friends, family and co-workers. It could be a new haircut, hair color, clothes, weight loss, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 4:32 PM GMT
    Yes indeed , i fancy compliment mates , crew-mates and family members .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 4:47 PM GMT
    I tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other person.

    I'll share in another person's joy without hesitation. If they are happy about something--something not perverted, of course, that doesn't hurt someone else--than I'll be happy with them and I'll show that. But I will never compliment someone to alter their feelings towards me. While I'll share in, I'm careful to avoid exploiting or stealing another person's happiness which compliments can disguise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 5:26 PM GMT
    I find it hard to give compliments to others as I am very self critical and do not receive compliments well. It is something that I have to consciously tell myself to do to be a decent human being. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    of course
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    Yes, definitely. I do it in all kinds of situations.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Feb 21, 2014 7:27 PM GMT
    Yup! Part of the job is to compliment appearance as we have very high standards in personnel presence!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 7:30 PM GMT
    kiwiLifter said
    theantijock saidI tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other person.


    "Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it."


    At risk of mixing a metaphor to comment on your analogy, I'm not sure that hair splits since all the seductive calories are in the juice produced.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 7:52 PM GMT
    theantijock saidI tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other persons.


    Well I guess this depends on how well you know the person. If you just met him 2 seconds ago and he starts complimenting you or viceversa I wouldn't take it as something real rather than a "like me" complex or hypocrisy.
    On the other hand, if it's a close friend then it's always nice. No one has ever died from spreading positivity icon_smile.gif.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
    willular said
    it seems to me that women have an easier (or at least, they do it more often) time--if they are well dressed or whatever.

    There seems to be a gender difference here. Women tend to give direct compliments more often ("your hair looks amazing!"), whereas for men it's typically veiled/indirect through mechanisms such as sport (like your examples of "nice catch!" or "you did really good out there today!").

    As for what I do, I pay compliments to men and women alike in both direct and indirect manner. I actually kind of enjoy catching a man off guard by giving a direct compliment as opposed to a stereotypical indirect one. Totally sets the tone for a different level of conversation when done right
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 8:00 PM GMT


    "Complementing Men"

    Well, I think I complement Bill rather well. (joke!)

    I compliment others like I would anyone, regardless of orientation or gender, depending on what they're like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    women seem to always be trying to out do each other with styles etc so being complimented for them is a back up to them where as men in my opinion arnt really that bothered
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:16 PM GMT
    Marsu said
    theantijock saidI tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other persons.


    Well I guess this depends on how well you know the person. If you just met him 2 seconds ago and he starts complimenting you or viceversa I wouldn't take it as something real rather than a "like me" complex or hypocrisy.
    On the other hand, if it's a close friend then it's always nice. No one has ever died from spreading positivity icon_smile.gif.


    Well of course, as you note, it's situational. I wasn't speaking in absolutes.

    But another poster just risked offending by email woofing me. So I wrote back that he seems to be fishing for a return compliment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:45 PM GMT
    Yes, all the time. I am a person with a positive attitude and I try and spread that to my friends, and some coworkers. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:51 PM GMT
    Marsu said
    theantijock saidI tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other persons.


    Well I guess this depends on how well you know the person. If you just met him 2 seconds ago and he starts complimenting you or viceversa I wouldn't take it as something real rather than a "like me" complex or hypocrisy.
    On the other hand, if it's a close friend then it's always nice. No one has ever died from spreading positivity icon_smile.gif.


    How well I know somebody is irrelevant to me. I will complement total strangers. If they take it wrong, there is not much I can do. And if I do, it is not to get something in return. I ask for nothing in return, though politeness does show the maturity/confidence of the person to me.

    Though flirting is completely different for me. I only flirt if there is a "possibility" of the man being gay or bi.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 21, 2014 9:51 PM GMT
    Yes, absolutely, if it is someone I know. Or maybe a cashier at a store or someone who might need a lift. On the other hand, I'm told I'm awful at receiving compliments. I really don't think so but if someone keeps on about something, I'm inclined to defer. And I agree with ROMS, if a guy knows I'm gay, I might be a bit more reserved because I don't want to appear to be hitting on him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:54 PM GMT
    Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:59 PM GMT
    Some people aren't good at giving gifts and others have difficulty accepting them.

    Meh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 9:59 PM GMT
    Of course Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 11:22 PM GMT
    I try not to. Big ego already.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2014 11:31 PM GMT
    blackhawksfan said
    Marsu said
    theantijock saidI tend to distrust compliments as I've found flatterers often use them to manipulate the feelings, actions and loyalties of the other persons.


    Well I guess this depends on how well you know the person. If you just met him 2 seconds ago and he starts complimenting you or viceversa I wouldn't take it as something real rather than a "like me" complex or hypocrisy.
    On the other hand, if it's a close friend then it's always nice. No one has ever died from spreading positivity icon_smile.gif.


    How well I know somebody is irrelevant to me. I will complement total strangers. If they take it wrong, there is not much I can do. And if I do, it is not to get something in return. I ask for nothing in return, though politeness does show the maturity/confidence of the person to me.

    Though flirting is completely different for me. I only flirt if there is a "possibility" of the man being gay or bi.


    I took his reference of time to mean familiarity.

    But let's get real, while acknowledging that it isn't nice to not be nice, obviously, complimenting does get you results even if you like to think your compliments altruistic. If they did not get you particular results, you wouldn't utilize them. I'm not saying that you are a bad person or that your compliments are insincere; I'm just saying that's real easy for someone to take advantage of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 22, 2014 12:02 AM GMT
    OP Way to go! You sound like a true gentleman with a good heart! Everyone needs an "at'a'boy/girl" every once in a while. If we were all kinder to one another, the world would be much better. I give my male friends complements as well as my female friends. You have to be confident in yourself and who you are to be able to complement others. Good deal man, keep it up! icon_biggrin.gif