Will he ever come out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 12:21 PM GMT
    I've been talking to a guy on this site for a long time (more than two years) and despite living in a big city and being my age he still doesn't have the confidence to come out and tell even his best friends that he's gay.

    Some of it is a confidence and self esteem thing but I think there's also the shame issue.

    Is it possible for someone to break free or is it too late?
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Dec 21, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
    It is probably never to late for someone to come out. Seems like everyone just does it when they are ready.Some early, some late, some never which is to bad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    Jeez,

    All he has to do is look at your pics and he'll be singing the praises of gay life in America!!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 5:46 PM GMT
    Maybe, maybe not..... In the meantime, you'll take what you can....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 5:59 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidMaybe, maybe not..... In the meantime, you'll take what you can....


    nom nom nom
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 21, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    No, it's not too late. He'll do it if and when he's ready.
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    Dec 21, 2008 6:03 PM GMT
    I guess that only he can decide when the time is right. Once I made up my mind to come out, it was easy. I pretty much told my entire family in one day.
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    Dec 21, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    Buckwheet said
    a1972guy saidMaybe, maybe not..... In the meantime, you'll take what you can....


    nom nom nom


    Look everyone, it's the new LOLcat!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 6:19 PM GMT
    It's not a matter of if it is too late for him to come out, it's a matter of him being comfortable enough to come out.

    Some guys seem to never want to come out. The fear within them is far too great. I can't imagine being in my later years and not being out, it'd be a bit hard to really be myself.

    We all think our love can fix the guy who's "confused". The thing is, sometimes love isn't good enough, and I guess it comes from the experience of falling in love with a lot of straight men, and getting into relationships with them.

    Like is he gay? Bisexual? Or just that guy that has always been into chicks but there's something different with you? You know that once in a lifetime gay thing?

    Whatever the case, I hope you have some sort of resolution with this. Just remember, coming out isn't for everyone. Everyone should come out, it's just better that way for everyone. But you can't help someone who doesn't want to be help.

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 6:19 PM GMT
    Might want to ask him of what he is scared.

    Also, for a lot of people, it is really hard to come out. It could be because of shame, but it could also be for hundreds of other reasons. If you are colloquial with him, it wouldn't hurt to get to know why.

    GL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 6:32 PM GMT
    With a little effort you can do it for him.

    Make a personals ad in his local paper/journal.

    You could mail him hand written letters for months everyday that say, "I know you're gay".....................with your pubic hair

    With even more research you could call his family and tell them yourself.

    All of that of course would be mean.

    To the point. . . . What's it off your back? Who cares if he lives closeted. To each there own. When he's ready he will.
    Ask him what he's scared of. Maybe he's not scared of anything, maybe he enjoys his life just the way it is.

    Let it be