How do the RealJock people deal with loneliness particularly at night?

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    Feb 25, 2014 12:24 AM GMT
    Just a general question as sometimes night time can be lonely and it makes sleep difficult which in turn makes you more lonely.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
    Reading. Drawing. Surfing the internet for funny videos and recipes. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:14 AM GMT
    TheWhiteMan saidPorn. Drinking. Fighting off the urge to commit suicide.

    Damn you, kindler and gentler RJ!!
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:21 AM GMT
    paz_the_gnome saidlol @ the pattern. the op was born in 93, the second poster born in 92, and the third is born in 91. i'm guessing the poster below me that's going to respond to this thread is born in 1990. icon_lol.gif sorry for interrupting the cycle, i'm born in 86.

    as for your question, i don't get lonely. i actually enjoy the alone time where i just let my mind run free and fantasize about what it would be like to have a boyfriend that i can cuddle with. it certainly doesn't depress me or whatever.


    I used to love time alone after I moved out about 10 months ago until I got a boy friend and now I get mega lonely at nights we're not together.

    I've tried putting on political shows at night to sort of simulate conversations around me etc but it's not really worked.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:23 AM GMT
    paz_the_gnome saidlol @ the pattern. the op was born in 93, the second poster born in 92, and the third is born in 91. i'm guessing the poster below me that's going to respond to this thread is born in 1990. icon_lol.gif sorry for interrupting the cycle, i'm born in 86.

    as for your question, i don't get lonely. i actually enjoy my alone time where i just let my mind run free and fantasize about what it would be like to have a boyfriend that i can cuddle with. it certainly doesn't depress me or whatever. i'll listen to music, talk to myself, think about life deeply and enjoy the darkness.


    lol I talk to myself too.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:30 AM GMT
    watch a movie, discover new music on youtube, research something cool and innovative on the net. Maybe go to bed early? icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:30 AM GMT
    Usually 3 times a week although week just been it was once but that's because I was ill. Even on weeks we see each other more though I get lonely when we're not together which is weird because I don't see myself usually as someone who needs to be around others.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:35 AM GMT
    musicbox89 saidwatch a movie, discover new music on youtube, research something cool and innovative on the net. Maybe go to bed early? icon_lol.gif


    before being in a relationship I used to be asleep before 11pm in the week but since being in a relationship I get anxious if I fall asleep I may get a call or a text wanting to come over which is ridiculous because I don't even have a phone at the moment lol.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:38 AM GMT
    How to keep loneliness at bay alone at night? Take proactive action in the daytime to prevent being lonely at night in the future. Then there's what some people do; browse porn and hook up with guys. That's fun but I don't think that's a great cure for lonely nights.

    Thom1993 said
    paz_the_gnome saidlol @ the pattern. the op was born in 93, the second poster born in 92, and the third is born in 91. i'm guessing the poster below me that's going to respond to this thread is born in 1990. icon_lol.gif sorry for interrupting the cycle, i'm born in 86.

    as for your question, i don't get lonely. i actually enjoy the alone time where i just let my mind run free and fantasize about what it would be like to have a boyfriend that i can cuddle with. it certainly doesn't depress me or whatever.


    I used to love time alone after I moved out about 10 months ago until I got a boy friend and now I get mega lonely at nights we're not together.

    I've tried putting on political shows at night to sort of simulate conversations around me etc but it's not really worked.


    Try being broken up and the loneliness hits you like a ton of bricks when you're in bed awake at night- the same bed where he was cuddling with you months or even weeks ago. That's no fun. Add to the fact that you're need to put yourself out there to date again yet go back home alone.

    But again, loneliness is many times a state of mind, don't let it turn into a state of being because it can turn into being withdrawn or even depressed.

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    Feb 25, 2014 1:41 AM GMT
    Erobert saidHow to keep loneliness at bay alone at night? Take proactive action in the daytime to prevent being lonely at night in the future. Then there's what some people do; browse porn and hook up with guys. That's fun but I don't think that's a great cure for lonely nights.

    Thom1993 said
    paz_the_gnome saidlol @ the pattern. the op was born in 93, the second poster born in 92, and the third is born in 91. i'm guessing the poster below me that's going to respond to this thread is born in 1990. icon_lol.gif sorry for interrupting the cycle, i'm born in 86.

    as for your question, i don't get lonely. i actually enjoy the alone time where i just let my mind run free and fantasize about what it would be like to have a boyfriend that i can cuddle with. it certainly doesn't depress me or whatever.


    I used to love time alone after I moved out about 10 months ago until I got a boy friend and now I get mega lonely at nights we're not together.

    I've tried putting on political shows at night to sort of simulate conversations around me etc but it's not really worked.


    Try being broken up and the loneliness hits you like a ton of bricks when you're in bed awake at night- the same bed where he was cuddling with you months or even weeks ago. That's no fun. Add to the fact that you're need to put yourself out there to date again yet go back home alone.

    But again, loneliness is many times a state of mind, don't let it turn into a state of being because it can turn into being withdrawn or even depressed.



    What's proaction in the day re loneliness?
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:41 AM GMT
    TRy this website. It's very good for relaxing and discovering new music. http://musicovery.com/
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2936

    Feb 25, 2014 1:42 AM GMT
    I read, watch DVD's, study music.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    Thom1993 said
    Erobert saidHow to keep loneliness at bay alone at night? Take proactive action in the daytime to prevent being lonely at night in the future. Then there's what some people do; browse porn and hook up with guys. That's fun but I don't think that's a great cure for lonely nights.

    Thom1993 said
    paz_the_gnome saidlol @ the pattern. the op was born in 93, the second poster born in 92, and the third is born in 91. i'm guessing the poster below me that's going to respond to this thread is born in 1990. icon_lol.gif sorry for interrupting the cycle, i'm born in 86.

    as for your question, i don't get lonely. i actually enjoy the alone time where i just let my mind run free and fantasize about what it would be like to have a boyfriend that i can cuddle with. it certainly doesn't depress me or whatever.


    I used to love time alone after I moved out about 10 months ago until I got a boy friend and now I get mega lonely at nights we're not together.

    I've tried putting on political shows at night to sort of simulate conversations around me etc but it's not really worked.


    Try being broken up and the loneliness hits you like a ton of bricks when you're in bed awake at night- the same bed where he was cuddling with you months or even weeks ago. That's no fun. Add to the fact that you're need to put yourself out there to date again yet go back home alone.

    But again, loneliness is many times a state of mind, don't let it turn into a state of being because it can turn into being withdrawn or even depressed.



    What's proaction in the day re loneliness?


    Proactive meaning actively working toward a solution to an issue (loneliness) from becoming a problem down the road. In other word having a problem solving mindset: Making yourself emotionally available/ developing a good mindset, planning how/ where to meet guys and then putting yourself out there with and meeting guys who will help you not become lonely at night.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:59 AM GMT

    This is an interesting topic, because that fact that it even exists, and that you're all posting on it to each other, is a living example of what you can do about the loneliness you feel. icon_wink.gif
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Feb 25, 2014 2:16 AM GMT
    Google Hangouts, TinyChat...
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:20 AM GMT
    Fapping and shooting zombies works just fine for me.
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:29 AM GMT
    The problem is nothing distracts me from feeling lonely or anxious not even course work or computer games and if I fall asleep I wake up instantly because I imagine I might have missed my phone (don't even have one atm) or my doorbell.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Feb 25, 2014 2:35 AM GMT
    Jerk off and go to sleep earlier
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:37 AM GMT
    Jerk off to random rj profiles
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:40 AM GMT
    Thom1993 saidThe problem is nothing distracts me from feeling lonely or anxious not even course work or computer games and if I fall asleep I wake up instantly because I imagine I might have missed my phone (don't even have one atm) or my doorbell.


    I made friends with loneliness and anxiety, and whenever they showed up with their filthy little suitcases I gave them permission to stay under the condition they shut up and kept themselves busy so I could get on with trying to enjoy myself.

    I discovered something: We can't change or avoid what we feel, but we can change how we feel about what we feel.


    warmly,

    -Doug
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:49 AM GMT
    Thom1993 saidThe problem is nothing distracts me from feeling lonely or anxious not even course work or computer games and if I fall asleep I wake up instantly because I imagine I might have missed my phone (don't even have one atm) or my doorbell.

    You're describing FOMO perfectly: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_missing_out

    I'm gonna give you a bit of tough love, and then follow it up with some practical solutions. ALL of us (myself included) have to fight the delusion that we are more important/popular than we actually are. The instantaneity of communication via social networking makes us think that we're more popular and more important than we really are. Time away from your phone right now is actually one of the best things you could possibly do! I'll share a bit from my own life: a few years ago I went to live/work in a jungle in South America for a month, and up until that point I'd been fairly heavily invested in social media (Facebook, SMS, Instagram, GChat, Skype, just to name a few). We got to go into town once a week to use an internet cafe for one hour. You know what had happened in that week that I was offline? Nothing. Friends and family just carried on with their lives. Same with the other three times I got connected to the outside world in that month. You know what I got to do instead? Deeply invest in the lives of the people in the country I was in and in the fellow volunteers around me.

    What it looks like you're craving is authentic relationship, and technology will never fully give it to you. It is at best a way of maintaining relationships with people that you've already established relationships with in person, or a way of establishing basic relationships with people that you may or may not have the opportunity of connecting with in person at another point.

    Remember that technology is made to serve you, not the other way around. It should never be a replacement for real human interaction, but it can still be an excellent supplementary method for connecting with people. Get yourself out there in your community - volunteer! Life's got so much more meaning when we invest in other people besides ourselves. The friends will come along as you put yourself out there...the key is that you do so in the first place.

    All the best. You will get through this!
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Feb 25, 2014 2:50 AM GMT
    I drive to my boyfriend's place.

    fuck_that_face-555px.png
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:51 AM GMT
    Watch netflix
    read a book
    listen to music/my favorite cds
    jerk off, read a porno mag
    checking out facebook
    go out to the bars


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    Feb 25, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Thom1993 saidThe problem is nothing distracts me from feeling lonely or anxious not even course work or computer games and if I fall asleep I wake up instantly because I imagine I might have missed my phone (don't even have one atm) or my doorbell.


    I made friends with loneliness and anxiety, and whenever they showed up with their filthy little suitcases I gave them permission to stay under the condition they shut up and kept themselves busy so I could get on with trying to enjoy myself.

    I discovered something: We can't change or avoid what we feel, but we can change how we feel about what we feel.


    warmly,

    -Doug


    Cheers that's good advice I'm just worried that because I get lonely that I may project that to my bf and he could take his pick of anyone so I can't come across as though I'm a stalker/needy but I also want him to know I am available whenever he can come over. It's a really difficult balance to tread.
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    http://www.orderit.ca/Home

    food is loneliness' best fran

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