I finally understand open relationships now

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 25, 2014 5:23 AM GMT
    My best friend lives in South America whom I met in high school when he was a foreign exchange student. If it weren't for the distance, there is no question we would be boyfriends, maybe even husbands

    I admit to being the jealous type (Scorpio, through and through), and normally if I catch whomever I'm interested in so much as glancing at someone else, my blood starts to boil. But with him it's different. He's told me about his crushes and dating guys in his city over the years and I feel nothing but happy for him. That's all I can ask for with this distance, is for him to be happy. I know that the other guys don't diminish the rock-solid friendship I have with him. He still cares for me just as deeply, regardless of if he cares for someone else. If he were in the states and wanted more than me, I like to think I would be ok with it. We've talked about it, though, and he is 100% monogamous, just as I am. One more reason he's perfect for me...dammit, why does Brazil have to be so far away?

    He is the kind of guy that has a lot of love to give, more than enough for himself, me, any other guy who sees how awesome he is. I can tell he wouldn't do it to have control over my feelings or boost his ego. Before, the thought of anyone acting like they loved someone and having sex with several others and calling it a relationship made me kind of pissed, but now I can see why someone would fall in love with more than one person, or be ok with it if their lover did.

    Thoughts or comments?
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    Feb 25, 2014 5:24 AM GMT
    Thoughts? Yeah. Get yer ass on an airplane.
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    Feb 25, 2014 5:29 AM GMT
    Sharka_Khan saidThoughts? Yeah. Get yer ass on an airplane.


    you do have a way with words, Sharkie
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    Feb 25, 2014 5:40 AM GMT
    Some folks don't necessarily consider what you defined an "open relationship" as falling in love with more than one person. some people consider it as you're in love with your one/main person, and have sex (non-love related emotions) with other people.
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    Feb 25, 2014 5:52 AM GMT
    Yeah I just said this not too long ago when I met a guy online .. but the thing is this is Way Different from fallin asleep each night next to your mate and then letting them bang other guys the next day...

    I'm still not for True open relationships..
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:03 AM GMT
    I think if he were yours you wouldn't feel this way..trust me I'm a jealous Aries and yea if it's long distance and you have sex with another guy..what can I do? I'm. Not there to satisfy you..but if I'm in the same city as you their is no way I'm accepting you getting dicked by another man..no sir icon_evil.gif
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:51 AM GMT
    I fail to see how this relates to you accepting an open relationship.

    The only thing it does seem to acknowledge is that you are comfortable and secure in a friendship you have with another person.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:24 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidI think if he were yours you wouldn't feel this way..trust me I'm a jealous Aries and yea if it's long distance and you have sex with another guy..what can I do? I'm. Not there to satisfy you..but if I'm in the same city as you their is no way I'm accepting you getting dicked by another man..no sir icon_evil.gif
    write that on paper plz and stick it on ur fridge so u can remind urself ab that ;)
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:39 PM GMT
    Hun i been there, done that(probably still am there).When u love someone(that's not friendship u feel, ur just accepting that ur powerless) you will sacrifice lots of stuff for them, try to make things work even if u have obstacles like the distance, even if sex is not really sex(its still good because u can feel him inside ur mind), even if u still sleep alone(ur dreams will give u the most comforting feeling).You have to be a fighter and get that man because he might be the one who will make u smile.
    I know for sure that all the guys i dated and slept with never made me feel exactly like ...well he did...idk he knows how to scratch that itch, he knows me better then anybody else and its beautiful, i feel sometimes like im in a really good romantic movie and im waiting for that moment when he will put that ring on my finger hehe....Till then i try to think positive...its hard but love comes in many forms and many ways, dont let go and think that an open relationship with him is fair...its NOT fair for u, for him or for the guy u said u have a relationship now.Be true with ur real feeling about that man and show him what u feel...someday u will try to find that again and realize u lost it.
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    Feb 25, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    how can you be 100% monogamous but yet be open for other people eating your man's cake?

    you're either monogamous or not.
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    Feb 25, 2014 4:08 PM GMT
    I'm not into open relationships but different strokes for different folks. If it works for others then let them be. It's their business.
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    Feb 25, 2014 10:08 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidI think if he were yours you wouldn't feel this way..trust me I'm a jealous Aries and yea if it's long distance and you have sex with another guy..what can I do? I'm. Not there to satisfy you..but if I'm in the same city as you their is no way I'm accepting you getting dicked by another man..no sir icon_evil.gif


    ...... Aries??? I'm Aries too but its a bunch of hoopla! I'm not jealous
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    Feb 25, 2014 10:19 PM GMT
    willular saidSome folks don't necessarily consider what you defined an "open relationship" as falling in love with more than one person. some people consider it as you're in love with your one/main person, and have sex (non-love related emotions) with other people.


    yes, this.

    It is usually when the emotional connections are made that it becomes messy and the biggest reason why some Open relationships fail.
    What you are describing is more of a poly-amorous relationship.
  • HottJoe

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    Feb 25, 2014 10:36 PM GMT
    willular saidSome folks don't necessarily consider what you defined an "open relationship" as falling in love with more than one person. some people consider it as you're in love with your one/main person, and have sex (non-love related emotions) with other people.

    To some degree, I'm the opposite. I only have sex with one person but life in the gay scene is still an emotional orgy of lust, jealousy and betrayal...icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 25, 2014 10:41 PM GMT
    kiwiLifter saidAnother obvious reason why gay guys and marriage are like oil and water.


    Except lots of straight couples have open relationships too.
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    Feb 25, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    Sharka_Khan saidThoughts? Yeah. Get yer ass on an airplane.

    Agreed. One of you needs to be on an airplane. This has nothing to do with open relationships, but about 2 guys who aren't together.