Advice needed

  • KGjr

    Posts: 2

    Feb 25, 2014 6:53 AM GMT
    My partner and I have been together 3 yrs., at the end of the first 9 months he moved to another city, which he had planned well before he met me. So far we both think living together is not a good idea, at least not until we both feel like it's really going to work. I'm 50 and on disability(HIV+ and healthy), he's 57 and works a retail job and is very work oriented. My idea which until just recently was to visit him for 1-2 months at a time, with 1-2 months apart. That's been good. The problem is that when I'm there I'm home all day, I try to keep busy with household stuff, etc. so he has more time for us, however he is jealous because he can't be home enjoying the day with me or whatever, this is a big problem because it seems he rather I'm not there so he won't feel that way. I can't seem to make him understand that being home and not working is not a nonstop party, so to speak. I don't know how to deal with this, I love him very much, however he is not as much in love with me(I don't think). Anyone want to give me some ideas/direction? or am I missing something?
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    Feb 25, 2014 7:02 AM GMT
    This is confusing..so you don't live together?
  • KGjr

    Posts: 2

    Feb 25, 2014 8:49 AM GMT
    We do not live together
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:57 AM GMT
    he's possibly frustrated that you are there and he's time is being consumed by work and not being consumed by you.

    I don't think there is anyway to make him change his mind especially since it's so far between visits.

    Maybe he needs to visit you more
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Feb 25, 2014 11:20 AM GMT
    You've lived together 3 yrs and don't move in together because you don't know if it will last. How long do you need to know?
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    Feb 25, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    So let me get this straight, you two don't live together, live in 2 different cities. You commute to see him every 2 months but when you're there, he's mad at you because he can't spend time with you? Explain it to him that it's not your fault that he's stuck at work. You two can do something on the weekend. He should make more time for you or come and visit you. Are you two having a long distance relationship, if so how far? It sounds to me that he doesn't appreciate you at all. I think you should break it off if he becomes more and more abusive and not understanding.
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    Feb 25, 2014 1:08 PM GMT
    This guy you have been seeing since three years is equally right as you are. Meeting each other in one or two months interval was good idea as well but, was that well planned?
    I would make sure to take off from the office/business for at least two days following with weekends so that I could spend time with my love. Especially if they have traveled for me.
    I'd advise you to talk to him and plan accordingly. You will get a solution for sure.
    Good luck!
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    Feb 25, 2014 10:35 PM GMT


    'however he is jealous because he can't be home enjoying the day with me'

    and

    'however he is not as much in love with me (I don't think)'

    these two statements contradict each other. If he didn't love you he would be more than fine with being at work. icon_wink.gif


    What I think you should do is completely delete your post (too late to delete topic), BUT FIRST, hand write out the whole thing and head it up with 'Dear Abby', then show it to him and tell him you feel lost, so you wrote this, but haven't sent it.

    This is what he's for. icon_wink.gif