College baseball player Matt Kaplon came out as gay to his team Sunday after years of struggle

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    Feb 25, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    http://www.outsports.com/2014/2/24/5443428/matt-kaplon-gay-drew-university-baseball

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    Feb 25, 2014 6:58 PM GMT
    paz_the_gnome saidto me, folks underestimate the struggle of coming out. the anxiety of being closeted, having that secret, being around folks who may be close to you that say homophobic things regularly not knowing if they'll turn their backs on you or not and etc is fucking crazy.

    one thing that i think that i guess since being gay is seen as being common now is how that struggle has been minimized to the point where people think that it's easy. even gay men that are out simply seem to forget that the coming out process or coming out ain't easy for everybody or that they themselves are fortunate to be around people that are accepting as there are many that are not.


    Very wise.
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    Feb 25, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    I hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.
  • thadjock

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    Feb 25, 2014 7:04 PM GMT
    and the walls came tumbling down....

    soon being gay won't be as special anymore. how to deal with the awful prospect of being ordinary....full acceptance......too much stress...can we go back to being the heroic, proud, struggling minority we used to be?

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    Feb 25, 2014 7:14 PM GMT
    He's also something of a public figure, not a private individual. If there were even a small chance that I'd wind up in media, I'd certainly hesitate. Hell, I hesitate now.
  • thadjock

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    Feb 25, 2014 7:33 PM GMT
    i think soon sr8 athletes are going to be jealous of the attention the gay athletes are getting,

    next thing you know str8 players will be fake coming out as gay so they can bump their media exposure.

    u know as soon as one team has a gay dude they're all going to be fighting to get one.
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:06 PM GMT
    thadjock saidand the walls came tumbling down....

    soon being gay won't be as special anymore. how to deal with the awful prospect of being ordinary....full acceptance......too much stress...can we go back to being the heroic, proud, struggling minority we used to be?



    There will never be full acceptance of gay people. There will always be groups or individuals who would spit (or worse) on us if they thought they could get away with it.
    Look at Nazi Germany, the Jews felt comfortable there until it was too late.
    We must be ever vigilante and vocal in protecting ourselves and our rights.
    Freedom was never handed to anyone. We too must fight for ours.
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:14 PM GMT
    He's cute too.
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.
    His situation is quite different from my situation and from lots of situations. For some, coming out carries very little risk, while for others the risk is considerable.

    Athletes spend a lot of time together, including intimate time. They spend considerable time getting to know one another, learning to function as a coherent unit, undressing and showering together. That's a tall order compared to the rest of us working 9-5 with people we may not know well at all and hope to never see naked.
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:56 PM GMT
    swimguychicago saidHe's cute too.


    I'd like to see him in a bathing suit...
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:16 PM GMT
    paz_the_gnome saidto me, folks underestimate the struggle of coming out. the anxiety of being closeted, having that secret, being around folks who may be close to you that say homophobic things regularly not knowing if they'll turn their backs on you or not and etc is fucking crazy...


    As one matures one realizes they don't need or want people around them that "say homophobic things" and don't really care "if they'll turn their backs" on them. Good riddance to them.

    When I was closeted and living the "straight" life (wife and kid) I regularly heard homophobic shit from her family and some coworkers. I'd chuckled to my self and say to my self: If you only knew.

    Coming out is more of a process of coming to terms with ones own sexuality and accepting it. I don't understand the need for a great formal announcement. Live your life on your own terms and do what you want to do with no apologies or explanations to anyone unless you feel they need to know.
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:18 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.

    Oh you're just mad because you didn't make the headlines! HA! jk

    I hear you, and I agree, this is hardly headline material however our society is super sensitive right now to homosexuality, especially when related to sports. On the positive side, having this in the news constantly (OK, it's from Outsports.com a gay "news" event site) helps for this kind of action to become more mainstream and routine. It's good that we see it as a non issue. Eventually so will the rest of society and then we can be accepted as just another gay guy in the neighborhood.
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:18 PM GMT
    Nivek said
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.
    His situation is quite different from my situation and from lots of situations. For some, coming out carries very little risk, while for others the risk is considerable.

    Athletes spend a lot of time together, including intimate time. They spend considerable time getting to know one another, learning to function as a coherent unit, undressing and showering together. That's a tall order compared to the rest of us working 9-5 with people we may not know well at all and hope to never see naked.


    So why would you feel the need to come out to a group that is generally homophobic and thinks every gay guy wants them. Doesn't seem necessary to me.
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:21 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    As one matures one realizes they don't need or want people around them that "say homophobic things" and don't really care "if they'll turn their backs" on them. Good riddance to them.

    Yep, nail on the head about this. I went through this with 2 members of my immediate family and haven't spoken to them is over 6 years. There loss. Have no interest in them or anything they do, cut the ties, removed them from my life…MY life!
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:24 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Nivek said
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.
    His situation is quite different from my situation and from lots of situations. For some, coming out carries very little risk, while for others the risk is considerable.

    Athletes spend a lot of time together, including intimate time. They spend considerable time getting to know one another, learning to function as a coherent unit, undressing and showering together. That's a tall order compared to the rest of us working 9-5 with people we may not know well at all and hope to never see naked.


    So why would you feel the need to come out to a group that is generally homophobic and thinks every gay guy wants them. Doesn't seem necessary to me.

    Yeah, I don't buy this either. Plus many people work with others they DO know very personally. Just because SOME athletes shower together, doesn't change a thing AND most of the high school/college age guys don't shower in the locker room and if they do, it's under the towel dance and any other method to ensure they're NOT seen. Nope, he came out because he's gay and he's struggling, just like everyone else on this site at some point or another.
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    Feb 25, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    UndercoverMan said
    As one matures one realizes they don't need or want people around them that "say homophobic things" and don't really care "if they'll turn their backs" on them. Good riddance to them.

    Yep, nail on the head about this. I went through this with 2 members of my immediate family and haven't spoken to them is over 6 years. There loss. Have no interest in them or anything they do, cut the ties, removed them from my life…MY life!



    Yes there is something quite liberating in knowing you don't need to keep someone in your life simply because they are there soley through accident of birth.
  • Sportsfan1

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    Feb 25, 2014 10:00 PM GMT
    He is an inspiration. It's great that his coach and his teammates are supportive. I agree that the homophobic slurs may be toned down now that they can put a face on those offensive slurs. Good for him and I wish him all the best!
  • turtleneckjoc...

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    Feb 26, 2014 2:12 AM GMT
    swimguychicago saidHe's cute too.


    You beat me to it....I think baseball has had the hardest time accepting gays and the players (from what I have seen) could be the most homophobic. That's what makes this very special.
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    Feb 26, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    good for him... i played college ball and had trouble with it too.

    and hes hot.. icon_cool.gif
    call me
  • k777

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    Feb 26, 2014 2:48 AM GMT
    thadjock saidi think soon sr8 athletes are going to be jealous of the attention the gay athletes are getting,

    next thing you know str8 players will be fake coming out as gay so they can bump their media exposure.

    u know as soon as one team has a gay dude they're all going to be fighting to get one.


    You are completely jumping the gun by about 20-50 years

    Hahaha. Nice ideals though
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Feb 26, 2014 9:20 AM GMT
    what is amazing to me is that; rightly or wrongly sport and acting celebrities have always ben role models to young people ...it is nice that young gays in their early teens have nice gay celebrities to look up to...when I was a teen there was no such thing as this so I looked up to Cher and Madonna.....imagine to grow up looking up to people like this brave young man and the likes of Neil Patrick Harris, etc...it makes me so happy !
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Feb 26, 2014 12:09 PM GMT
    Broseph said
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.


    But it is different, because sports have a very macho/masculine image and many people don't think that is compatible with homosexuality. We need to show those people that they are wrong. Every little bit helps. It does matter.



    +1. It also shows people many of which still believe we are all feminine and don't do things like sports, fire fighting, military, police etc that we are just like them with the exception of who we have relationships with.
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    Feb 26, 2014 12:47 PM GMT
    chadwick1985 said
    Broseph said
    Erik101 saidI hate to sound insensitive, but I don't get why this is making the news. Plenty of men (and women) struggle to come out and many of them find their courage. Just because he's an athlete doesn't make his situation any different from the rest of us.


    But it is different, because sports have a very macho/masculine image and many people don't think that is compatible with homosexuality. We need to show those people that they are wrong. Every little bit helps. It does matter.



    +1. It also shows people many of which still believe we are all feminine and don't do things like sports, fire fighting, military, police etc that we are just like them with the exception of who we have relationships with.


    Agree. It especially helps many GAY men who are looking for "someone like them". I have had a hardicon_wink.gif time convincing fellow gays that being gay isn't a lifestyle or set of social rules. There are so many guys who want to come out to their straight buds but feel trapped by stereotypes. You come out, lose some close straight friends you had a lot in common with and then have a very difficult time finding gay guys you have a lot in common with. Having one gay person you can relate to or emulate can make a huge difference in your confidence in coming out. So the more people that come out from all walks of life, the better.
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    Feb 26, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    thadjock saidi think soon sr8 athletes are going to be jealous of the attention the gay athletes are getting,

    next thing you know str8 players will be fake coming out as gay so they can bump their media exposure.

    u know as soon as one team has a gay dude they're all going to be fighting to get one.
    icon_lol.gif

    I think a young guy like him is brave. and like the other sports guys who've come out recently it's a double edged sword. Someone like this guy, up and coming, if he doesn't make it the cry of homophobia will be loud. If he does make it up the sports ladder some people are going to say it's favoritism for a minority of sorts. If you're already established it's one thing, say a guy in sports who's already making 30 million bucks and comes out. We'll see how it literally plays out.
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    Feb 26, 2014 9:41 PM GMT
    Funny, I'm in the same conference as him. We compete against Drew and get our asses beat badly.