Do other people have friends like this?

  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    I've been texting this morning with a friend of mine in NYC. He's been going on and on about how he can't meet a guy, people only want him for his body, etc.

    Now, he's very good looking and has done porn in the past (and I think escorted). But he ignores most guys that are "Not his type" which consists of successful, hugely muscled, slight older hairy guys.

    He's very status cognizant but yet I'm not quite sure how he supports himself (his high-top shoe buying alone!). I'm not saying it doesn't happen but usually Doctors don't want to date a out of work rent boy long-term. He's not dumb at all but he has no inner drive to better himself on his own. Basically he's skated on looks this far.

    Anyway, is there at time when a friend can exasperatedly say "Water seeks its own level?" because I'm tired of whenever I ask "How are you?" I get this tirade about how all men are whores?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 25, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    If he is a complainer, then that is probably why he can't find a bf. Good looks don't always come with a good personality.
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    Feb 25, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    His looks will start to fade so he needs to stand on his own two feet and then he'll likely find someone. As a friend if noone else is telling him that you might have to.
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    Feb 25, 2014 6:50 PM GMT
    You've described way too many negative attributes of your friend and there is only one that is positive....and that is he's not dumb. So the questions are: why did you decide to befriend this guy and why are you still friends with him?

    I think I can speak for many of us on these forums that we do not have friends like your's.
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    Feb 25, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    Usually those are attributes I associate with girls. I know way too many girls who go out with less than a tenner because they are social climbers and their first test is finding a guy to buy their drinks all night. If he buys the drinks and they think he is hot he may get a phone call so it's odd to me that men do this too!
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    We're not best friends but we're not casual acquaintances either. We ran in the same circle of friends when I lived in NYC and he's coming to visit with some other New Yorkers for Mardi Gras so thats why we were talking today.

    He's a really sweet kid and once before I broached the "You seem to date the same people over and over again," it was like explaining advanced calculus to a dog. He just sort of looked at me blankly and said "But they're different people." We all have a "type" but if you refuse to consider anyone outside of that then you get what comes to you.

    If he brings it up while he's here I'm going to tell him "Its because you're shallow and self-conscious of what the mancandy on your arm will be perceived as and consequently, the other guy will regard you as a pretty face and thats it."

    I don't know whats worse, the people that unknowingly do this or the serial daters who date while constantly looking over their shoulder for an "upgrade."
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:04 PM GMT
    I don't have any friends like him. Shame, he sounds hot icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 25, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    "which consists of successful, hugely muscled, slightly older hairy guys."

    Will he settle for a successful, slightly muscled, hugely older hairy guy?
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Feb 25, 2014 8:51 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said"which consists of successful, hugely muscled, slightly older hairy guys."

    Will he settle for a successful, slightly muscled, hugely older hairy guy?


    Probably but I think you could do better ;)
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    Feb 26, 2014 12:07 AM GMT
    He calls other men whores yet he's done porn? Riiight. If you ask me, he's a huge hypocrite talking about how people only want him for his body and calls them whores, when he has a prostitute past. You should tell him with his past decisions, he's put himself in the position where he'll be objectified even more. If he wants that to go away, then he should probably start realizing that he's not the hot shit he thinks he is because everyone's had a piece of him...and go from there.