Parents reactions....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    For the people that are out, how did your parents react when you told them you were gay? i told mine about a year ago and my mother and father hate me now. Was just curious to see how other parents acted.

    (Sorry i know this has been posted before.)
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:39 PM GMT
    i haven't told my parents yet but i think that they will dis own me.
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:43 PM GMT
    My mom worked at a gay bar when I was younger. She was very happy.
    My Dad said, "OK"

    That was the extent of it
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:49 PM GMT
    Told my parents right before Thanksgiving. Havent had any negative reations yet....Still waiting for "The Talk" with my father. Going to meet my boyfriend for the first time on Christmas. My mother has even talked on the phone with my boyfriend.
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:49 PM GMT
    my mum made it all about her self, my dad said "as long as your happy" and that was it.

    One sister screamed in excitment, another was just happy I'd finally done it, brother was a bit funny but he got over it and are now closer then ever.. I did however come out when I was young icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 21, 2008 11:49 PM GMT
    gymguy1 saidTold my parents right before Thanksgiving. Havent had any negative reations yet....Still waiting for "The Talk" with my father. Going to meet my boyfriend for the first time on Christmas. My mother has even talked on the phone with my boyfriend.


    Nice... My mom doesnt even want to meet my friends.
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    Dec 22, 2008 12:23 AM GMT
    I learned a year before my father died, my mother having died 4 years earlier, that they always knew I was gay from when I was a child. They even told my younger sister about it, and they discussed my "problem" often among themselves.

    And all I could think was: "Why didn't anyone ever tell ME?" Why did they let me stumble along in deep denial, confused & fucked-up, trying to live straight but ineptly, when everyone around me knew the obvious truth?

    And I never got to discuss it with my parents. Except with my right-wing sister, who hates me for being gay, and with whom I've had no contact for nearly 12 years.

    Well, I have my own "family" now, and to hell with the rest of them.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 22, 2008 3:03 AM GMT
    I came out to my parents and my twin sister when I was 16, and they were all really cool about it. It was great, they gave me space to figure things out for myself and didn't bombard me with questions until I was ready to talk about it myself. I think they'd always known, though.
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    Dec 22, 2008 3:19 AM GMT
    My father died of cancer when I was 18, so I never got to tell him. I think the cancer really made it harder for me to come out. I was upset all the time about my sexuality but there was no way I would unload it on my family when we were going through all that. I told my mom when I was 21. She took it well. She loves my boyfriend. My brother had been waiting for 7 years for me to tell him.

    Blakemonroe, I'm sorry your parents have been harsh. I hope that one day they will get over their prejudice towards you and begin to see that you're still the same son you always were, but that not you are being completely open and honest with them. That's why my mom was supportive, because she was happy I could allow myself to be myself completely in front of her.
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    Dec 22, 2008 3:22 AM GMT
    i actually came out last sunday to my parents, like one week ago today. they were AWESOME. basically said they were surprised, but they felt horrible that i kept it to myself all these years and that i did not need to. they told me the most important thing was my happiness, and altho i may not live out my life the way the thought i would, its not up to them but me. they said they would always support me and would always love me and congratulated me on taking this step. i will admit, i was relieved and VERy surprised, but it made my transition extremely easy.
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    Dec 22, 2008 4:19 AM GMT
    My father asked me iof I was gay when I was 19 y/o and a freshman in college. I paused - and thought "I could lie to him now and lie for the rest of my life, or be honest". All that my father said was "Your Mother is going to be crushed". She was a flippin nut for about 2 weeks. She insisted I go to therapy. I agreed, but told them they also needed to go, since my being gay was not going to change. Apparantley the therapist asked my parents if they wanted to lose me as their son. They did not want to lse me - and they became very acceptant. My father was a blue collar "he man"... lifted weights and was a beefy butch guy. He became best friends with my partner. We were together for 18 years. Lee died in Feb of 1999 of cancer. My parents are not members of PFLAG or any opther advocacy group. They do, however, stand their ground and defend against ruude and bigotted remarks about gay people within their professional and social lives. I hope to think that my parents have helped their friends who also learned their children are gay. I am very fortunate to have the parents I do.
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    Dec 22, 2008 4:51 AM GMT
    1st off, sorry to hear that you're having a negative experience with your parents, hopefully they'll get over it and come around!!!

    I came out kinda late, when I was 26. Told my Mom 1st and she teared up and said "I just want you to be safe." In return I replied with "Let me find a job 1st THEN I'll worry about being safe." We chuckled and that was it! About an hour after that I told my Dad and he looked at me and said "Oh, ok!" He paused and turned back around at me and then asked,

    "Are we still going to the game on Sat?"

    My reply was, "Um, of course!"

    Dad: "Cool! BTW, can you grab me a beer? Thanks son!"

    And that was THAT!!

    And like lilTanker, ever since coming out, my brother and I have NEVER BEEN CLOSER!!!!
  • ep83

    Posts: 144

    Dec 22, 2008 4:56 AM GMT
    Me: They say moms always know so you probably already do, but I'm gay.

    Mom: Oh, I had no idea. You know it's very accepted now.

    End. Kind of anti-climactic. I knew it would go well but thought there would be a bit more conversation than that.
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:06 AM GMT
    ep83 saidMom: Oh, I had no idea. You know it's very accepted now.

    This made my night, thank you.
  • asupas

    Posts: 234

    Dec 22, 2008 5:08 AM GMT
    Me: Dad, I have something to tell you that Im really nervous about and you have to promise to not freak out or disown me. Okay? Here it is - and promise me you wont over-react - I like guys, not girls. Is that okay with you?

    Dad: Son, I grew up in San Francisco in the 60's. Get over it.

    Lol.
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:14 AM GMT
    I told them at dinner many many moons ago. "...by the way, I'm gay, pass the mashed potatoes please....". My mother had a mild nervous breakdown and went on a "retreat" for a week, and my father just laughed and said that was OK.
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:53 AM GMT
    I'm surprised by how many mothers have such a problem with gay sons. I was always under the impression the women take the news better thn men.

    My mom practicly made me come out... she knew.

    My dad was totally oblivious and said "I was looking foward to having grandkids and many the Carey surname carry on."

    I wasn't too happy with him, but he apologized after my mom slapped his head a couple dozon times.
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    Dec 22, 2008 6:04 AM GMT
    ya know, I know lots of people whos mothers have had more problems with it then fathers.. it could be about the mother being the more gentle caring sorta don't want my son being hurt by the big bad world.. or maybe its because women tend to dream more about how there kids are going to grow up and that idea gets shattered.. or perhaps our fathers are just brought up not to show that sort of shock so they just take it in and thats it.
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    Dec 22, 2008 6:06 AM GMT
    Blake,

    If I see your mom I'm going to spray her in the face with cheese wizz!icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 22, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 saidI'm surprised by how many mothers have such a problem with gay sons. I was always under the impression the women take the news better thn men.

    My mom practicly made me come out... she knew.

    My dad was totally oblivious and said "I was looking foward to having grandkids and many the Carey surname carry on."

    I wasn't too happy with him, but he apologized after my mom slapped his head a couple dozon times.


    i think it cuz mothers want grandchildren and children-in-laws and all that good stuff. they want their kids to have the white picket fences and the dream. they dream thru their kids and tend to live in a world that is not always realistic hence the great disappointment where as i think men may get disappointed but life goes on, we accept the change,deal and keep it moving.
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    Dec 22, 2008 6:33 AM GMT
    I Came Out in the 10 grade.. I wrote letters to my famliy and letter to a friend that Likes me(female).. They were all cool bout it.. Was more easy 4 me cause my older brother and sister are gay and they both came out before i did to my mom. My dad has been passed away since i was three.. but hear that he was Bi and his brother is gay. Lol..

    My friend took it great.. Till this day she still has a a thing 4 me even though she knows im gay. Even though i came out when i was 16.. No one knew and didnt tell the whole world kept it a secrect through rest of High School. since i was joining Military.. and keep it a secrect through that too. But Out and about to everyone now.. People stil dont know unless i tell them.
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    Dec 22, 2008 7:05 AM GMT
    I came out when I was 18, actually. This was at the peak of my sexuality just when I was coming into terms of who I was at the time. Then I was somewhat evasive towards her about my first boyfriend.

    Me: Mom, there's something you really need to know about me and Collin.

    Mom: I know, don't worry. You're gay and he's your boyfriend. I'm fine with it, darling. Just go, I need to call your Uncle.

    LOL.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Dec 22, 2008 7:13 AM GMT
    My parents invited my boyfriend, or in my father's words, "Special Friend" over for dinner at a restaurant. Both he and I had a feeling what this dinner was about. My parents liked him very much that during dinner, they invited him to family events I was not aware of. My mother invited him to go visit Montreal where my cousins live for she's planning a trip up there, and all I could do was sit there in silence wondering why the heck is he invited and not me.

    Afterwords, my parents were very glad to meet him and off they went. As my boyfriend looked at me with a smile, glad that my parents were accepting and that they know, I kicked him for he got the invitation and I didn't. My own mother and boyfriend, off to a vacation with out me.
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    Dec 22, 2008 7:18 AM GMT
    um, my bro outed me at 14 after finding gay porn on my comp. my parents took me out to dinner and asked. i said i was... my mother ended up in the hospital with an anxiety attack and my dad was mad that i did this to my mother. they soon got over it. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 22, 2008 10:06 AM GMT
    scorpio0440 saidI Came Out in the 10 grade.. I wrote letters to my famliy and letter to a friend that Likes me(female).. They were all cool bout it.. Was more easy 4 me cause my older brother and sister are gay and they both came out before i did to my mom. My dad has been passed away since i was three.. but hear that he was Bi and his brother is gay. Lol..

    My friend took it great.. Till this day she still has a a thing 4 me even though she knows im gay. Even though i came out when i was 16.. No one knew and didnt tell the whole world kept it a secrect through rest of High School. since i was joining Military.. and keep it a secrect through that too. But Out and about to everyone now.. People stil dont know unless i tell them.


    Your lucky, im the only known about gay in my WHOLE family.