An old friend reaching out to me looks like a meth head

  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Feb 26, 2014 1:52 AM GMT
    I don't know what to do. We met years ago when I was living in Prague. He was a vagabond kinda guy and loved traveling the world. I haven't seen him for years and when I moved back to the US he got in touch and when he was passing through Atlanta we grabbed a coffee. His teeth were all but gone. He had ink from head to toe (that part doesn't really bother me but mentioning it). He told me that he'd been arrested several times on pot and other drug charges. He looked like shit.

    Now, another 2 years later he wants to visit and stay with me for a few days. I haven't replied to any of his emails or SMS messages. I'm feeling bad not answering but honestly don't know what to say or how to say it. I really don't want a meth head in my house while I'm away. I have no idea what he's up to nor do I know what might go missing while I'm gone OR if he's bringing drugs into my house.

    How should I handle this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2014 2:21 AM GMT
    You could ask if he is on it. If he is in would deffo not let him in my house. I knew someone who would take any drug going and he was dodgy and lied a lot so if he is on drugs then be careful if you do allow him in your house.
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    Feb 26, 2014 2:37 AM GMT
    Where there's smoke, there's fire.

    If you don't want what he has going on in his life, then don't bring him into your life.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 26, 2014 3:37 AM GMT
    "Dear friend,

    "I don't feel comfortable leaving my house in the hands of someone who has a confessed history of drug abuse."

    You might also add, "No personal offense intended, your life choices are yours, but I just don't feel comfortable complying with your request."
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    Feb 26, 2014 3:42 AM GMT
    Tell him no and why. . . maybe it wil help him change further down the line.. he is Not a good person obviously.. he Needs to change.. don't feel bad about pointing this out... Someone needs too

    Tell him as a Friend.. but tell him he has to do the first steps of fixing himself up Alone before you can trust him. Unless you plan on making him go to some facility You would have to pay for then there is Nothing better you can do other than what I told you above
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    Feb 26, 2014 4:54 AM GMT
    And, probably the most powerful thing OP could do to help his friend is to ask, "Have you heard of Narcotics Anonymous?"
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    Feb 26, 2014 5:02 AM GMT
    jayatl56 said
    How should I handle this?

    Tell him no, even if you have to invent a reason.

    You don't want a druggie staying in your house. He may steal from you, he may trash your place, he may bring the police down on you, you don't need any of that.

    Just tell him no.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Feb 26, 2014 5:56 AM GMT
    tell him you will be on your mormon missionary work trip for the next few months
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 26, 2014 6:06 AM GMT
    You don't have to keep all the friends from your past in your life. Just say 'no, sorry that would not be convenient' you have other plans that you simply cannot re-arrange. There are plenty of losers in the world and all they are looking for someone to leach off of and latch on to. You have to be blunt with them or you won't be able to shake them off.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Feb 26, 2014 8:01 AM GMT
    Don't ask if he's on it.
    No matter what, he'll say, "No."

    You are correct to have serious concerns about having this guy in your house.

    Ignore his emails and any other messages.

    Don't have any contact with this guy.

    You can't save him, and you can't help him.

    He's not the guy you used to know.
    I'm sorry, but that's the truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2014 8:50 AM GMT
    Speaking from experience you need to be very careful about letting someone like this into your life.

    My ex-best mate got heavily involved in using ICE and it nearly destroyed me along with him. He got involved in some very dark and illegal activities while he was on the juice and I was constantly scared of being associated with his activities or of being implicated in any crime he committed.

    I stood by him as long as I could but he was killing me with all the psychological abuse and anxiety he was aiming at me...

    I would never let this kind of darkness into my life again...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2014 6:59 PM GMT
    I don't trust anyone who takes these drugs. If they wanted to take drugs in the first place, they aren't right. Dont associate yourself with him. He will bring you down with him.
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    Apr 25, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    In threads like these, updates from the OP should be mandatory. Imo.