Heart Attack of a Friend

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    Feb 26, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    We just got a phone call. My husband's closest gay friend of 30 years suffered a heart attack while riding his horse. His husband phoned us from the hospital to let us know.

    He's stabilized, undergoing tests. He previously had a heart stent, so heart issues aren't new. He's just 60.

    My husband is crying. It isn't easy. He told me he needs some private time, so I left him in our bedroom, why I'm here at the computer, trying to cope in my own way. I'll be back there shortly.

    Rough for me, too, cause I love the guy, as well. We were all just together Saturday night, at a piano lounge, singing our hearts out like idiots.

    He founded the very first gay chorus in the State of Florida. I once belonged to another gay chorus he founded along with my husband. We always spend Thanksgiving with them, and last year Christmas & New Years at their New Hampshire vacation home for 2 weeks.

    We're gonna try to visit the hospital tomorrow. The same one where my husband had his triple bypass 11 months ago. Possibly the best heart center in this area, so that comforts us.

    But, yah know, these things hit you right between the eyes, when you least expect it. You're sitting here, surfing the Internet and watching TV as I was, doing your thing, and then you get a phone call like this out of the blue.

    I begin to think nothing is permanent or stable. I WANT to think it is, but every time I do, something upsets my naive complacency. Tonight has been another example. icon_cry.gif
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    Feb 26, 2014 3:05 AM GMT
    Very sorry to hear that. 60 is kind of young to be having a heart attack. Does he not take care of himself?
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    Feb 26, 2014 3:21 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Very sorry to hear that. 60 is kind of young to be having a heart attack. Does he not take care of himself?

    Well, I can't be sure regarding diet. I know at home he does. His (legal) husband is the son of a doctor, and an absolute fanatic about eating healthy.

    And the guy keeps a horse, rides regularly, also camps and does other outdoor things. So he's certainly not a sedentary slug. And he knows he has a heart issue, he's already had a stent.

    But, yah know, there's also genetics. You can die young despite doing everything right. The best you can do is improve your chances at longevity, but you can't forestall the inevitable. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 26, 2014 4:00 AM GMT
    This is true.
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    Feb 26, 2014 4:03 AM GMT
    sorry to hear that hope he gets well
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    Feb 26, 2014 2:19 PM GMT
    David3000 saidsorry to hear that hope he gets well

    Thanks. We'll try to see him sometime later today, if it's allowed.

    I owe Sharka_Khan an apology. I should have emailed him directly with this news. Instead he read this thread and emailed me. Jeff was at this last Thanksgiving's dinner with us, where he met this couple. I should have remembered that personal connection and told him directly, that was thoughtless of me. icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 26, 2014 9:40 PM GMT
    OK, we did see him 2 hours ago. His husband was there, too.

    A regular room, not ICU, a good sign, and he's been given tests all day. No results back yet, except that it does seem he did have a heart attack.

    So we'll continue to check and visit, see where this goes.
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    Feb 28, 2014 4:06 PM GMT
    Our friend is having an open-heart triple bypass right now. Same thing my husband had 11 months ago in that same hospital, also on a Friday.

    We're in touch with his husband, will visit when advisable. Unfortunately we're both committed to running a booth at a Pride Fest all day tomorrow & Sunday, and then we've got a Sunday night musical recital to attend, but maybe we can work something out.

    My husband came home on a Tuesday, just 4 days after his own bypass, so our friend might not be there long. But in my husband's case we got him in before the heart attack fully hit (the doctors told me I got him there literally as it was going critical), which resulted in no detectable permanent heart muscle damage, with a faster recovery after the bypass. We believe our friend had an actual full heart attack that began the day before he went to the ER, so that could extend his stay, and his overall recovery time.

    It's a mistaken belief that heart attacks are the classic "suddenly clutch your chest, fall to the floor" scenario. Many are actually "slow" over hours, even days.

    I watched my late Father have 4 of those right in front of me. You ever do CPR on your own Father? And later I had to perform it on my late partner. Believe me, not an experience you ever want.

    If you or your man exhibits any of the symptoms (which for my husband and our friend were lower stomach cramps & constant belching, with little pain in the upper chest) just go to the ER. Don't try to be a "man" and tough it out, certainly not when you're getting near 60 as all of my friends are.