friends with ex?

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    Dec 22, 2008 3:59 AM GMT
    can u really be "just friends" with an ex and still have successful romantic relationships with others? im torn, i say u can be from my own experience, but all my exes as of today are women lol. i have yet to experience the other side of the topic where an ex is a man and im trying to date a new man. what's ur take?
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:07 AM GMT
    i haven't had a boy friend yet but i know that some guys always make things hard when it doesn't need to be , so I'm going to say that you can be friends but not close friends.
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:12 AM GMT
    I heard of it. I've even seen it.... However I have YET to experience it.
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    Dec 22, 2008 5:52 AM GMT
    yup you can, it takes a lot of work from both people and a willingness and understanding to put in the effort and understand that the relationship is over and you are no longer a couple and you are both free to go in different directions while maintaining a friendship.

    a relationship is nothing but a very close friendship that involves sex, just because you are no longer together does not mean the qualities that first attracted you to him are gone, it just means you no longer are attracted to that person in that way anymore, however usually if its a relationship with someone worth saving to have at least as a friendship, it was a longer relationship then just a couple of months.
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    Dec 22, 2008 6:28 AM GMT
    sounds like too much effort to me, liltanker. all those "all you gotta do" situations aren't generally going to be so simple... i understand what you're saying, but ultimately it's hard to be friends with someone whom you know to be a person you weren't compatible with for a reason (probably more than one).

    what's the point at all if it's not easy? i mean, you've already tried to get along with them if you've dated them, and it didn't work... if it's not easier than all that on a more casual level, then i say walk away.

    love isn't easy, but friendship (often) is.
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    Dec 22, 2008 7:30 AM GMT
    m, i depends on hoe the relationship ended. my ex of 5 years, i can't even look at him without saying something mean to him. we tried being friends and it was sorta working...then i got pissed off because he was the same push over but i could add cheater and not my bf to the list. however, in time i can see myself being his friend. maaaaaybe....
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    Dec 22, 2008 7:49 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidsounds like too much effort to me, liltanker. all those "all you gotta do" situations aren't generally going to be so simple... i understand what you're saying, but ultimately it's hard to be friends with someone whom you know to be a person you weren't compatible with for a reason (probably more than one).

    love isn't easy, but friendship (often) is.


    hmmm, there are some relationships that wouldn't be worth the trouble, especially as jrunner points out, there needs to be a level of trust still.

    hmmm after 7 years I and my part decided that we were no longer in love with each other, we talked about it, tried to fix it, but in the end, it just wasn't gonna happen, so, we've decided to go our own ways now, it was amicable and we are working on building a friendship, we have our moments where we grate on each other however thats just the way things always are, especially when you know someone so well.

    We still love each other, we aren't in love anymore, we still hug occasionally, when we do it feels just as good and as comforting, as warm and as inviting as it always has, I know that hug well, its gotten me though some incredibly tough times in life, we still talk about things, he still has his humor and his good grace, hes still just as warm and as caring as always..

    I suppose what I"m really saying is yes it can be done, you have to want it and they have to want it.. I don't want to see my ex leave entirely, I learnt so much from him and with him, we spent so much time and effort with each other that to just let it go would feel like a disservice to each other..


    dancerjack saidwhat's the point at all if it's not easy? i mean, you've already tried to get along with them if you've dated them, and it didn't work... if it's not easier than all that on a more casual level, then i say walk away.


    Because sometimes the most difficult, gut wrenching things, that put you so close to the edge where you feel you could just die, are worth it, sometimes, that pain and hurt, that anger and hate needs to be over come and really, is anything that easy? are you friends always easy, if they have troubles do you run away because its difficult with them?

    Life isn't easy, at least its not for me, but I do find the pure joy and happiness that is total and inexplicable and it only seems to come for me when I've come through something thats been difficult.