Question for former fatties

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2007 5:23 PM GMT
    How long after you started losing weight did guys start showing interest in you?
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 22, 2007 10:20 PM GMT
    I got guys interested at me before I lose weight. It just before the guys showing interest are some "chub chaser", strange people who are into chubby and fat fetish freak. My 20's years old hunky ex bf who is a special branch commando type policemen are intersted to me simply because I was fat. I have a guy who cant take his hand off my pot belly and love handle. I remember receiving strange look from some younger guy at swimming pool and then he follw me to locker room and latter telling me how attracted he was to me because I am overweight. Sometimes I think it an insult and hard to believe but its true.

    However now that I am getting closer to my ideas weight and loosing so many kilos. I start getting attention from normal guys mostly younger guys who are into mature and older man. Physical play a major part as sexual attractions. As you keep losing weight you will notice this things. Anyway, I not complaining. I take all the guys and sex I can get. GOOD LUCK on the weight lost.
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:34 AM GMT
    well i lost weight very young and still was in denial about being gay at 19, so i didnt really notice guys being interested.lol. but i felt more confident in my appearance and both women and guys treat you alot differently when your in shape. it's a sad fact but true. i think being overweight is probably the most unsaid disciminatory trait a person can have.
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:52 AM GMT
    I lost the majority of the weight 15 years ago, and most guys STILL don't show interest in me.


  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    Sep 23, 2007 6:41 AM GMT
    We don't always like what we see in the mirror, but for whatever odd reason, myself included, love a guy with meat on his bones. Granted, my life style has changed more toward a fitness one, so I am looking more to forming a relationship with someone of the same interest. But, I find guys of all different sizes attractive and different guys with different taste have always found me attractive.... I'm just being more picky these days with those I decide to form a more deeper relationship, other than friendship.

    LANCE
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    Sep 23, 2007 8:59 AM GMT
    for me after 10 kg , and so far i am good even i still have big ass and tummy . lucky me :-)
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    Sep 25, 2007 8:17 PM GMT
    hell Joe they must be blind or stoopid you're cute ;-)

    For me it was never a problem before or after for attracting others, however it was more of an issue about how I felt personaly ie I didnt feel attractive enough before I think when the weight started to go right from the first 6lbs and I knew I had control over that my self confidence sored and with that I worked alot on my self esteem. Flip side was I got more attention that I wasnt used to and that makes you a little uneasy at first.

    Oh god hope that doesnt sound arrougant as that aint me!
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 25, 2007 8:21 PM GMT
    I was clinically obese due to my BMI...however I never had a problem with guys not paying me attention...I might have been large, but I still held myself confidently and that was a big thing for a lot of guys.
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    Oct 04, 2007 5:33 AM GMT
    I never had trouble finding blokes - but they always seemed to be one of two types -

    1 - The Chubby Chaser - who wanted to treat my chest like it was a woman's, play with my wobbly bottom etc

    2 - The Girly Bottom - who wanted me to be the big rough top to throw them around and be all dominant.

    After many many many unsatisfying nights, I've now know that neither of this type of sex appeals to me.

    It wasn't till I was down to about 100kg/220lb mark that I started to get the looks from the tall/solidly built men.

    That may also be a confidence thing - as many friends have said I now exude confidence when I'm out.
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    Oct 05, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    Thankfully I am pretty tall. But coming from 400 pounds it wasn't till I was around 250 that I actually even started going out to meet people.

    I would never talk to so called chub chasers. Kinda of freaks me out. And I hated/hate being overweight so wouldn't want to be around someone that would like me to remain like that.

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    Oct 22, 2007 2:47 PM GMT
    Ignorance77It wasn't till I was down to about 100kg/220lb mark that I started to get the looks from the tall/solidly built men.


    yeah, that is my goal weight, which means I have 70lbs to go. I have already lost 50, but its not fun. icon_sad.gif Idk why it is so hard to lose weight.
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    Dec 05, 2007 12:55 AM GMT
    As a former "BIG o'l FATTY", I dropped from 410 to 180 in 15 months a few years back. I was somewhat of a "homebody" and avoided going out, but even at my highest weight, I attracted attention when I would go out. Got hit on a fair amount too, by men and women! I thought it was strange.... but most of those hitting on me were not the types I am attracted to. Now, at 180, I turn heads when I walk in places and get hit on regularly. It is almost too much attention and is sometimes embarrassing and uncomfortable. Had to learn how to handle my new-found "powers", LOL!
    I really noticed the "different crowd" I attracted when I was around 215-220 and has "improved" as I lost weight and "muscled up".....Good Luck!...Don't be afraid to seek professional help as your self image and physical appearance change and get out of sync. I went through several months where I didn't recognize my own reflection or shadow immediately. It is VERY strange and un-settling... I lost more weight, than most on this site have ever weighed. It can truely alter your life and takes time for it to register in your brain both conscious and sub-consciously.
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    Dec 05, 2007 6:47 AM GMT
    i agree with briarhawk and sporty.

    How you carry yourself is huge no matter what, and therapy might be the way to go to ease into the adjustment. Now that I look back I wish someone had been there to tell me that...I thought that when I lost the weight the first, my life would magically get better. This just isn't so, and a lot of the improvements I've made had to come with a lot of effort on my part.

    Have you ever heard the term "dry drunk?" It's used to refer to an alcoholic who has quit drinking for a period of time but is still completely miserable. I was a lean fatty i guess...I had a lean body but a fat guy's persona and outlook and ultimately I wound up gaining half the weight back which I lost again recently.

    Now the direct answer to your question is people started noticing and giving me positive feedback when i had dropped around 20-25 lbs.. I started at about 255 so probably at around 230 lbs was when I started reaping the benefits of my labor. If other people's opinions are truly benefits...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2007 8:17 AM GMT
    I dropped from 215 to 180 in a little over a month around July '06. I did start getting a lot of attention from coworkers.. mostly thinking something was wrong with me! The main thing it did was improve my self esteem.

    But what really started helping was when I began weight training October '06 - Feb. '07. that's when I started getting noticed, and REALLY started feeling good about myself.

    Now I've lost much of the muscle I gained then, since I haven't been to the gym since February, and I'm starting to put on the wrong kind of weight again. (I moved, got in a relationship, and have not been able to afford a gym for the last 8-9 months) That's all about to change since I found a new place to work out that I can afford... only it is under construction so I must wait a month or so. I can't wait... I get addicted to lifting when I get into a routine!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2007 8:26 AM GMT
    BMI is a crock of poo.

    I was never overweight. I was a classic meso, or super meso, from the beginning. 175 at 5'5" at 12% at 16, and the fifth highest strength index in my high school.

    It takes as long as it takes, though, is the right answer.

    Hang in there with that digit control program, and you'll be on your way.

    You have to be realistic, too. It takes years to look one way or another, but, if you're self-confident, lead by example, are well-rounded, interesting, and positive, things will go better.

    Don't expect real hunky guys to come after you. You have to be honest with yourself. Stuff takes time.

    Patience, and discipline, are a couple of things you have to walk away from this experience with in order to be long-term successful.

    Wax-off, wax on.

    I've lifted weights since November 1975. That's a LONG time.

    Perhaps you need to set smaller goals. Instead of asking the question of when....,because the answer is blatantly obvious, perhaps you can set a daily goal of no bullshit excuses for failure, and just let time take its course. One day becomes a week, a week becomes a month, a month becomes a year, a year becomes a decade.

    Here's what I do: I put myself out on hotornot.com, and facethejury.com for a fair and unbiased rating. Nothing wrong with being self-aware, but, you're up to your old habit of being on the pity pot.

    You want a reality check? Put yourself out on hotornot.com. See how you do. Keep updating it.

    I'm a consistent 9.1 to 9.9, so I have a fairly good idea that many consider me attractive.

    Make your goal to UP your rating, rather than being miserable that you aren't a hunk magnet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2007 12:19 PM GMT
    I never really got any interest, but when people get to know me, I tend to be able to win them over. I tended to be rebuffed at the approach stage when I was fat though. It wasn't until I got below 190 that people started to at least not do the disdainful sneer thing
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    Dec 05, 2007 2:04 PM GMT
    I have a client who started out at 411# - now 337 - and he has a string of ex's and still gets men when he's in the mood. It's his personality they want to know....

    Yes, I suppose you draw more flies with honey than with vinegar - but there are plenty of people out there who like big men.

    Of course, it helps when the big men like themselves.....

    J.
  • trebor965

    Posts: 200

    Dec 05, 2007 2:46 PM GMT
    after i lost the first 40.
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    Dec 05, 2007 3:57 PM GMT
    About 6 1/2 yrs ago I was 220lbs and lost a total of 75 lbs. I went down to 145 lbs which was way too much to lose. I started to put some weight back on, began to work out with weights again to put on muscle and now range between 167-170 lbs.

    I guess I started getting noticed after losing about 50lbs. It was funny, I had stopped going out to clubs because of the weight and the first time I went out again it took about 5 minutes before someone hit on me. It was a big confidence boost at the time!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 05, 2007 5:09 PM GMT
    i was porky in middleschool- but my change was rather dramatic... over the summer before highschool i had a growth spurt, joined a swim team, got contacts, and ditched the braces lol- so the reaction was pretty immediate in the fall..
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    Dec 05, 2007 9:16 PM GMT
    bfg1 said:hell Joe they must be blind or stoopid you're cute ;-)


    thanks icon_redface.gificon_smile.gif

    It's all about approachability. I've been told I look unapproachable...at least until I smile, so I'm working on smiling more =D

    btw, bfg1...i think you are cute too ;)

    [joe hides and giggles]
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    Dec 07, 2007 1:20 AM GMT
    JoeScorpio...I must agree with both you and BFG1...you are BOTH handsome guys! But then again, I think 99% of the guys on this site are just flat out drop dead GORGEOUS! I think "chaserprize" has potential to a real "prize", once he put his mind to it and starts to intelligently use his fork to "feed his hunger" and not punish himself for some past issue. You"ve got it in you to take care of the problem....Good Luck!
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    Dec 19, 2007 7:49 AM GMT
    you're starting off everything on the wrong foot as far as I can tell--

    you really have to be comfortable and confident in your own skin before anyone else will ever find you attractive.

    being "fit" may help the process along, but even in you're fit, if you don't make yourself happy, no one else will either.
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    Dec 27, 2007 5:02 PM GMT
    I lost about 85 pounds in the past year. Once I was down about 35 pounds, I started getting attention. Once I lost 60 pounds, it started getting ridiculous, with advances from men AND women (lots of women and plenty who know I'm gay -- and I still haven't figured out what that's about). I was oblivious at first, until one day I realized two people had actually backed me into a corner and weren't showing any signs of letting me pass (hey, I've been partnered for a long time and I'm not looking -- but it's nice to be noticed).
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    Oct 09, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    I'd say that I started really attracting more and more guys when I hit a BMI of about of 25. My current BMI is about 23. When I started my weight loss I was at about 32.