If you're not fem or masculine, where do you stand in the gay community?

  • Being

    Posts: 191

    Feb 28, 2014 5:48 AM GMT
    If you're not a queen or a bro jock, where do people like me stand? I feel that people like me aren't often over look when it comes to discussion about the whole mas vs fem debate.
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    Feb 28, 2014 5:54 AM GMT
    Most people, of every sexuality and gender, fall somewhere inbetween the two.

    They are not truly binary. Think of it as a spectrum with both archetypes being on each end, and most people naturally falling somewhere in between, usually closer to one extreme than the other.

    Masculinity and femininity are social constructs to a degree. Not completely, ofc, but enough so that they become very defined ideals a child grows up in society subconsciously learning to identify with, idealise and work to achieve.

    Don't sweat it.
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    Feb 28, 2014 5:55 AM GMT
    It's probably the case that everyone gets over looked most of the time because everybody likes different things. It's also probably true though that certain stereo types are more in demand than others.
  • PolitiMAC

    Posts: 728

    Feb 28, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    I'm just in the middle I think. Probably more to the fem side than the masc side.

    Example: You can tell I'm gay with my voice within 10 seconds or less icon_razz.gif But I don't scream like a woman in excitement like some queens do (but I get close I think icon_wink.gif )

    I'm sure some people would think I'm a screaming queen, but I don't think so. My voice is the thing that gives me away the quickest, and my mannerisms can give that impression next.

    You know, on that basis, I probably am a screaming queen icon_razz.gif

    Ah well. I'm a sexy mofo either way icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 28, 2014 6:00 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidMost people, of every sexuality and gender, fall somewhere inbetween the two.

    They are not truly binary. Think of it as a spectrum with both archetypes being on each end, and most people naturally falling somewhere in between, usually closer to one extreme than the other.

    Masculinity and femininity are social constructs to a degree. Not completely, ofc, but enough so that they become very defined ideals a child grows up in society subconsciously learning to identify with, idealise and work to achieve.

    Don't sweat it.


    you are so smart
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    Feb 28, 2014 6:04 AM GMT
    cthulu
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    Feb 28, 2014 6:39 AM GMT
    JarIan said
    _SAGE_ saidMost people, of every sexuality and gender, fall somewhere inbetween the two.

    They are not truly binary. Think of it as a spectrum with both archetypes being on each end, and most people naturally falling somewhere in between, usually closer to one extreme than the other.

    Masculinity and femininity are social constructs to a degree. Not completely, ofc, but enough so that they become very defined ideals a child grows up in society subconsciously learning to identify with, idealise and work to achieve.

    Don't sweat it.


    you are so smart


    =] thanks (unless you are being sardonic, in which case I may now look like an idiot icon_lol.gif ;])
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    Feb 28, 2014 6:44 AM GMT
    YourName2000 saidIt's kind of weird, but I've seen amazing resistance at putting any name on it at all. You see guys struggle to define themselves in their profiles by using terms like "straight acting" "normal" "average" etc, and it doesn't matter what people try to use, they're all shot down as so offensive you'd think they called someone "n-gg-r" or "f-gg-t". And yet 'masc' and 'fem' have no such weight to them. icon_confused.gif

    I tend to go with "non-fabulous"....I'm a non-fabulous gay guy. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Oh you are so Fabulous!!! icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 28, 2014 6:44 AM GMT
    If you're not fem enough, just put on more make-up. What's the big deal?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 28, 2014 7:05 AM GMT
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    Feb 28, 2014 7:10 AM GMT
    I think "gay bro" is the default label, if you don't fall into the other two labels.
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    Feb 28, 2014 7:12 AM GMT
    textilemaker saidIf you're not a queen or a bro jock, where do people like me stand? I feel that people like me aren't often over look when it comes to discussion about the whole mas vs fem debate.


    The standard that is often propped up as the de facto standard for masculinity for most males in this country these days (if they aren't black), is to behave in ways like a submissive and crass working class white male in every aspect of one's professional, social and private life. If the idea of masculinity is exemplified in such a way then, be glad you are not masculine.
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    Feb 28, 2014 7:02 PM GMT
    I'm androgynous
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Feb 28, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    I'm me. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I don't stand between, I stand across. I have as many facets as I have interests and I turn the one that fits with the situation. I can cook a mean dinner and I gesture a lot and I sing. I'm also a Soldier and an athlete that backpacks for fun.

    They're just constructs anyway, a way to put people in boxes. So either pick your own box, or fuck the boxes. Most people worth your time have more facets to their personality than will fit in a neat little pigeonhole anyway.

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    Feb 28, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
    I would say i'm more to the masc side, but that's for you to judge.
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    Feb 28, 2014 7:56 PM GMT
    We talk about fems and mascs here but I have no idea why we don't talk about "affected" personalities.
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    Feb 28, 2014 8:11 PM GMT
    I guess it leaves me on the fence...

    with him...

    so who cares...

    sitting_on_the_fence_by_builtbytallsteve
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    Feb 28, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    Labels suck.

    I don't call myself 'fem' or 'masc'... I call myself 'Jon'.

    Don't try to be anything else besides who you are.

    Unless you can be Batman. ALWAYS try to be Batman.

    icon_lol.gificon_smile.gificon_lol.gificon_smile.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    YourName2000 said
    JohnSpotter saidWe talk about fems and mascs here but I have no idea why we don't talk about "affected" personalities.

    Explain? icon_confused.gif

    For instance, the gay lisp. There's nothing feminine about that. It's an affectation.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_lisp
    Or more specifically, things that can be completely controlled. I dated a gay guy once who made a loud smacking noise before every one of his sentences. It was spectacularly annoying. Why do this?
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:05 PM GMT
    I dated a very good looking guy once who was kind of embarrassing to be with in public. When he walked around, he'd hold his hands up in front of him like he was afraid somebody was going to hit him. What the fark was that about?
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:12 PM GMT
    I regret to inform you that you are just like everybody else.
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:14 PM GMT
    Find some friends who you are comfortable with and don't worry about what scene you fit into. The people who matter will like you for being you.
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:25 PM GMT
    With me i have that bit of a voice thing going on but at the same time my accent comes out deep lol some actions and mannerisms i have are also there but alot of people say they have me down as straight and others say gay some where actually shocked at my answer lol, when i was younger in school and growing up everyone called me gay all the time, i dont really fit into any category except if i make my own label and that would be the human form of beige lol
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:31 PM GMT
    LABELS
    ARE FOR
    CLOTHES.


    Not people.
    See this kind of ignorance is where stereotypes begin, and gives us a bad reputation.
    STOP IT.
    I stand where I need to stand; femme or butch, who cares?!
    Be who you are, and own it.
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    Feb 28, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidLABELS
    ARE FOR
    CLOTHES.


    Not people.
    See this kind of ignorance is where stereotypes begin, and gives us a bad reputation.
    STOP IT.
    I stand where I need to stand; femme or butch, who cares?!
    Be who you are, and own it.

    Labels have nothing to do with ignorance. What if a man is feminine, feels uncomfortable, and has a need to talk about it? How is he supposed to do this without labeling himself? You're not helping.