Awkward Gay Moments...brought to you by.....

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    Sep 22, 2007 6:09 PM GMT
    A couple of years ago I was sitting with friends in the players' family section of the LA Dodgers watching a game. Steve Finley came up to bat and I said to my friend, "Grrr. Steve Finley is so cute!" My friend mumbled back to me..."shaddup". Not to be deterred, I said, "WHAT?? I just growled at him..he is just too cute." The woman to my right chimed in, "I think so too. I'm his wife." er...
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    Sep 22, 2007 11:35 PM GMT
    I work in a restaurant and everyone knows i'm gay. Sometimes I joke around the some of the straight guys and they joke back. Well, in the kitchen, someone had a red bull sitting on the counter and I noticed it had been there for a while. I said "If someone doesn't drink that red bull, I'm gonna drink it." It belonged to a handsome guy who has nothing against homo's. I always joke with him saying that if he's ever feeling bi curious to give me a call and he laughs. Well, he responded "just to let you know, I jacked off in it." I said "Thats not gonna stop me" thinking everyone would find that funny. No one laughed and they all kinda looked grossed out. It was really awkward and i felt the need to state to everyone that I was joking.
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:18 AM GMT
    Cleaning the house up thoroughly for a big company party at the lake...

    Have guys changing in the master BR; women in the big guest room.

    Made sure there were lots of towels out - everything is perfect...

    Finally get a chance to change myself before heading down to the water.

    A father is coming out of the BR with his two little boys.

    LB#1: Daddy what is that funny hose for in the shower?

    OHHHHHHHHHHH, YES; THAT funny metal hose with the strange attachment on the end.

    And you realise at least 100 other people have seen it too.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 23, 2007 12:21 AM GMT
    I cant understand why they could not take that as a joke. I mean you say you joke around with them all the time.

    That's a hard one to understand.

    Mike
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 23, 2007 12:25 AM GMT
    ITJock,

    Sorry I am probably very stupid here, but I don't get it. What was the hose?

    Mike
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:29 AM GMT
    timo: Congrats on scoring awesome tickets!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:31 AM GMT
    Mike wrote: "Sorry I am probably very stupid here, but I don't get it. What was the hose?"

    5373-1-hr.jpg
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:48 AM GMT
    Please tell us MikePhil that you are not confused now!!!
  • cacti

    Posts: 273

    Sep 23, 2007 1:03 AM GMT
    ITJock, I've never laughed so hard in these forums... I don't know if it's the most embarrassing story of all since most probably didn't know what it was... but probably the most hilarious!

    I've got lots of embarrassing stories, but I can't think of anything gay/sex related. Hmmm
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 23, 2007 1:08 AM GMT
    Ya, I think I get the picture now :-)

    Would it be more embarrassing if I asked where you got that :-)

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 1:17 AM GMT
    Until about a month ago, I wouldn't have known what that hose was for either.

    NOw, I haven't used one. I just recently saw a picture of one in use.. I was like OH! so they make things like that now do they..
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 23, 2007 1:43 AM GMT
    What is it for? :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 1:44 AM GMT
    I sometimes end up regretting telling this story, but here goes.

    When I was 25 -- a century ago -- I went to a very sleazy bar in downtown Atlanta and picked up a very hot guy. We went back to his apartment and fucked all night. (Usual translation: 20 minutes.) The next morning, while he was making coffee, I looked across the room into his closet and I saw some weird clothing. Some very brightly colored stuff. I didn't think any more about it. We exchanged phone numbers and I went home.

    The following Sunday, he called. He was in a panic. His car had died and he had an important appointment in a town in the Georgia mountains, about 1.5 hours north of Atlanta. He'd been unable to find a ride. Could I help him out?

    I said I'd be glad to and drove to his place to pick him up. I honked the horn and out the door came RONALD MCDONALD.

    Yes, I had fucked Ronald McDonald and I spent the rest of the day chauffeuring him from one hillbilly golden arch to the next. When we got home, he tried to start something -- in his damn costume and makeup -- and was hurt when my penis shrank to the size of a clitoris.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 23, 2007 1:48 AM GMT
    There are tears in my eyes from laughing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 1:52 AM GMT
    LOL, that is pretty hilarious.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:08 AM GMT
    Obscene, are you for real?

    That is the funniest shit I have heard in a long damn time.

    I about fell about of my chair.

    Now and forever, you will be known as the man who fucked Ronald McDonald.
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:14 AM GMT
    LMAO!

    Would you have felt less attracted if he'd been dressed up as Wendy?

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Sep 23, 2007 2:22 AM GMT
    Timo.... I would have howled with laughter
    and would have told that story to anyone who would listen
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:26 AM GMT
    I was moving my bedroom when I was 17. My girl friend was helping me. As I cleaned off my desk and carried an armful of stuff to the other room. I returned to find my girlfriend holding some papers that were under my blotter - the only thing left on the desk.

    I'd forgotten about my first gay erotic story involving my best friend, his older brother and I. I used their real names and she knew all of us. >:o

    I ignored her quizzical shocked look, picked up the blotter and snatched the pages from her hand, and shot back to the other room calling for her to get the lamp...




  • cacti

    Posts: 273

    Sep 23, 2007 3:11 AM GMT
    OW... I stand corrected!
    Alright, I can't believe I didn't think about this story before, but here's mine. I'll try to keep it short.

    The Setup: About 3 years ago I ended up seeing this guy a few times that I met online. He lived about an hour's drive away, but he was extremely attractive(face and body of an underwear model) and incredible in bed. I was weak]. He was sweet. I wasn't looking for anything serious in him because I knew he had the baggage of 20 married bi-curious men. He was currently living with his mom and brother(who was disabled and couch-ridden) in a trailer. I want to clarify that there's not a THING wrong with that, but I want you to picture the situation. Now add the fact that they whole family basically hates each other and seems to enjoy a frequent verbal brawl. I was weak!

    The incident: He calls me late one night and wants me to come over. I'm pretty much done and about ready to tell him, but his dad is really sick with emphysema and is going to die soon... and he doesn't want to sleep alone. So of course I come straight over. We pretty much go straight to bed, and he cuddles against me as if to goto sleep... but soon rolls over to start kissing. I was weak. As we're about to climax we hear a phone ring followed by screaming. Of course... his dad just died. The crying turns into screaming, and I seriously started getting worried about my safety as I lay in his bed alone not knowing what the hell to do. Am I to scuttle out dodging fists as I express my sorrow for their loss or wait for him to return to bed? I wait. He eventually returns only to leave 4-5 more times throughout the night as the shouting picks up in volume. He wasn't even upset and just wanted me to stay.

    Embarrassing? Or just extreme discomfort? A lot of both I think!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 3:21 AM GMT
    Obscene,

    Wow that is really crazy. At least u can be known as Ronalds Mcdonalds fk buddy.
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    Sep 23, 2007 3:22 AM GMT
    Well, it pales in comparison to the above but...

    I went through a phase of downloading porn photos from the internet. Downloads were still kinda slow then, on dialup, but I had software that would download a batch unattended, then display them as a full screen slide show.

    I got home one day, and found my landlord just coming out the door. He had let himself in to do some work in the basement. The basement where my computer was... displaying a slideshow of guys fucking.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 23, 2007 4:24 AM GMT
    OW,

    That why I just LOVEEEEE you. I cannot imagine how it is to fuck Ronald Mc Donald (I was an ex McDonald crew person, mgt trainee, by the way). So how it is? taste like a big mac, finger licking good (opp's that KFC). You know they should make a gay porn starring OW and Ronald Mc Donald . OW topping Ronald with all his costume on. I am laughing like crazy here.

    Now OW tell us some more of you other conquest. Herb of Burger Kings, Colonel Sanders, that Where the Beef lady (sorry all this 80's TV commercial)
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    Sep 23, 2007 5:34 AM GMT
    I feel I should explain that I fucked the regional Ronald. There is not one Ronald. There are many -- like the gods of the pantheon. They are all sworn to secrecy about their work.

    You're right OHhiker: Wendy would have been worse. But I've spent years bitter that I never got a turn with Mayor McCheese. By the way, that is a cute new picture of you.

    Cacti: That is worthy of the early John Waters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 6:37 AM GMT
    obscenewishBut I've spent years bitter that I never got a turn with Mayor McCheese.

    I didn't know you were into uncut guys. Isn't he republican too?