How to keep a healthy relationship when there are money differences.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
    I've heard and seen a lot of couples splitting up because one of the members in the relationship earns more money or is more stable financially than the other one.
    I haven't had any problems yet about this but if any of you guys have been through this I'd like to know how did you handled it.

    Thanks for the advices.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 02, 2014 9:52 PM GMT
    Get Married icon_biggrin.gif

    Then it is 'our' money, not 'my' money and 'your' money.
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    Mar 02, 2014 10:19 PM GMT
    We were and are in love, which means, for us, wanting to look after each other. Over the years, sometimes I made more$$ and sometimes Bill made more$$. We paid for everything in percentages appropriate to what we were making. icon_wink.gif

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    Mar 02, 2014 10:58 PM GMT
    grow up and stop being children.

    This is how you deal with many of the things we encounter on a day to day basis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidGet Married icon_biggrin.gif

    Then it is 'our' money, not 'my' money and 'your' money.


    Yep

    the going gets rough, the rough remember their vows and suck it up--right now I'm doing a lot of sucking.
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    Mar 03, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    This is one of the minor reason why my ex and I split a while back. Well this and among other reasons. I don't think it has too much about different income potential but more like your attitudes and the way you handle it. Nothing more of a turn off than a cheap rich guy who acts like an ahole. icon_eek.gificon_redface.gif
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    Mar 03, 2014 12:16 AM GMT
    Honesty is the best policy. My chosen career is never going to earn me loads of money and i'm currently earning a little over minimum wage. (just over £14000) if that's a problem I'd be like there's no point in continuing.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 03, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    I had a partnership with a guy who made FOUR times as much money as I did, and he really resented paying more than I could afford to pay for going out to dinner, going on vacation, etc.

    I'm a giver.
    It gives me a lot of pleasure to treat my boyfriend/partner.
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    Mar 03, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    Lots of guys are too proud to date someone earning more than them. I think that partly explains why lots of people in the UK have a fetish for chavs, they take a similar role to a secretary or 'girl next door' as a romantic prospect 50 years ago for straight guys.
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    Mar 03, 2014 1:25 AM GMT
    Ohno saidLots of guys are too proud to date someone earning more than them. I think that partly explains why lots of people in the UK have a fetish for chavs, they take a similar role to a secretary or 'girl next door' as a romantic prospect 50 years ago for straight guys.

    The world views the UK as a civilised place so don't mention chavs... They are Britains dirty little secret and they need to be exterminated icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2014 2:10 AM GMT
    If people would prefer a partner who makes more money they should have at it and see how far it gets them.
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    Mar 03, 2014 2:25 AM GMT
    Thom1993 said
    Ohno saidLots of guys are too proud to date someone earning more than them. I think that partly explains why lots of people in the UK have a fetish for chavs, they take a similar role to a secretary or 'girl next door' as a romantic prospect 50 years ago for straight guys.

    The world views the UK as a civilised place so don't mention chavs... They are Britains dirty little secret and they need to be exterminated icon_razz.gif

    Interesting
    So, you guys have a lot off gay "Vanilla Ice" types running around?
    -scary.
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    Mar 03, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    They're the equivalent of the sort of Americans who go Jerry Springer. I don't actually know who vanilla ice is so I can't comment on that but I have heard of him icon_biggrin.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 03, 2014 2:50 AM GMT
    My husband and I have been together for 20+ years and this is how it works for us.

    When we met, I was working two part time jobs and he had his own professional photography studio. There was a large difference in incomes.

    We took my monthly income - A and his monthly income - B and added them together for C. We figured out what percentage that each of us represented - let's say mine was 35% and his was 65%.

    We took our shared expenses - rent(now mortgage), utilities, food, etc and made a monthly budget. Let's say that was $1000.00 for easy math.

    We opened a joint account and I contributed 35% of the budget - $350.00 and he contributed 65% - $650.00. Whatever we had left over was our own money to do whatever we wanted.

    As the years go on, the percentages and budget has changed, but we both feel it's remained fair because we both contribute to and agree on the shared costs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2014 8:17 AM GMT
    Thom1993 saidThey're the equivalent of the sort of Americans who go Jerry Springer. I don't actually know who vanilla ice is so I can't comment on that but I have heard of him icon_biggrin.gif


    Oh crap I'm officially old as of right now.
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    Mar 03, 2014 10:18 AM GMT
    I feel like if you come into a "partnership" you should have the tools to be able to support yourself without me. Now, I know circumstances can change things but if you aren't ever able to pull your own weight it's not going to work for me. You can make less or more, not a problem.. just be able to support yourself.

    - there are people out there that make bank and live paycheck to paycheck.
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    Mar 04, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidGet Married icon_biggrin.gif

    Then it is 'our' money, not 'my' money and 'your' money.


    Lol, this sounds like a great advice icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif. Just kidding.

    Thanks guys icon_smile.gif.