Dating Non-Jocks

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2014 6:40 PM GMT
    There was another discussion related to this, but I can't find it. I admit it, I am not a jock. I am bored by exercise. It is okay when I am doing it, but right now, I can't afford a gym, or trainer, and I am too injury-prone to do a lot of things, due to illness and previous injuries.
    So, a number of you said that you actually like or prefer men who are not necessarily jocks for dating. So, here I am.

  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Mar 04, 2014 5:20 AM GMT
    I have tried and it isn't easy. I mean differences r great to have but if someone isn't interested in working out and taking care if themself it is hard
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 04, 2014 8:11 AM GMT
    I feel the same in the sense that I am not a total jock. I do like to exercise and keep in shape (doing routine stuff like situps, pushups, leg lifts, etc.) but I don't have any desire to get huge. That whole "you must become what you want to attract", I really don't want to go down that road.

    It really does depend on the guy though. If it's a guy who is heavily into sports or heavily into the gym to the point where it felt like he lived there, then I could see why it would be problematic to be with someone who wasn't a jock.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:42 AM GMT
    Andaman said So, here I am.

    So you are here, but RJ is not much of a dating site, even for jocks, let alone non-jocks who don't exercise or play a sport.
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    Mar 04, 2014 9:19 AM GMT
    Always ask yourself "Would you date you?".

    A lot of people don't ask that question and those who do tend not to like the answer.

    You're on a site that primarily functions as a exercise site. The very opposite of what you say you don't do. It sounds like you're wanting a jock, or least someone healthy and fit, to be with. You might be on the wrong site with the wrong intentions and wrong bait. No offense.
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    Mar 05, 2014 7:55 PM GMT
    I thought this was a dating site like all the others. I guess I assumed wrong. I am not interested in dating myself, because I am not at all narcissistic, and I like partners who are different from me, whether it is size, race, culture or coloring. I don't think anyone should be looking for someone just like themselves. I don't think that is a good basis for a relationship, maybe for a mutual admiration society. Maybe that's why so many couples are out cheating or looking for a third...
    Being a non-jock does not mean I am not interested in, or don't take care of myself. It is one of the more annoying traits of some jocks that they act like their way is the only way to be, and that anyone can do it, and if they don't do it, they are lazy or don't care. That is very unattractive in a man.
    There were years where I was extremely active and I am still strong. You should not make assumptions about others.
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    Mar 05, 2014 8:23 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidAlways ask yourself "Would you date you?".

    A lot of people don't ask that question and those who do tend not to like the answer.

    You're on a site that primarily functions as a exercise site. The very opposite of what you say you don't do. It sounds like you're wanting a jock, or least someone healthy and fit, to be with. You might be on the wrong site with the wrong intentions and wrong bait. No offense.


    +1
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Mar 05, 2014 8:26 PM GMT
    I don't mean to be an asshole, but I feel pretty confident that nobody with any background in sports or athletics uses the word "jock" to describe themselves today. I've thought this for a while but never actually posted anything here about it, but as a former athlete and coach, I simply never hear the word "jock" used in this context anymore, like we were all living in "Revenge of the Nerds" circa the mid 80s.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2014 8:47 PM GMT
    It just seems a little oxy-moronic for someone that comfortably refers to themselves as a non-jock to be looking for dates on a website called "realjock". Don't you think?

    Even then so, there are surely better dating websites to use than this site. This website seems to be about a lot more than just dating; a lot about the things you've expressed disinterest in...
  • Chainers

    Posts: 375

    Mar 05, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    Andaman saidI thought this was a dating site like all the others. I guess I assumed wrong. I am not interested in dating myself, because I am not at all narcissistic, and I like partners who are different from me, whether it is size, race, culture or coloring. I don't think anyone should be looking for someone just like themselves. I don't think that is a good basis for a relationship, maybe for a mutual admiration society. Maybe that's why so many couples are out cheating or looking for a third...
    Being a non-jock does not mean I am not interested in, or don't take care of myself. It is one of the more annoying traits of some jocks that they act like their way is the only way to be, and that anyone can do it, and if they don't do it, they are lazy or don't care. That is very unattractive in a man.
    There were years where I was extremely active and I am still strong. You should not make assumptions about others.


    Well with that attitude I wouldn't be interested in dating you either.

    It sounds like you (with a lot of gay men) are holding men that you view as potential dates to a much higher standard than you hold yourself. To say "eating right and working out isn't for me, but Im intersted in guys who do!" is kind of weird. We get it, people who eat right and work out do it to be attractive (partly). If you value and find that attractive in a partner, why is it that you don't find those qualities to be attractive in you?

    No jock wants to date themselves, and people who work out and eat right don't do it to "admire" themselves. I have friends who aren't into fitness like me and they want to eat at spots I can't really eat at. Its tough to maintain common ground like that, and people who care about fitness can relate to the issue.
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Mar 05, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    Some jocks like fatties, most dont.
    They're out there.
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    Sincityfan saidSome jocks like fatties, most dont.
    They're out there.


    Not here. I'll pass.
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    Alexxx5 said
    Sincityfan saidSome jocks like fatties, most dont.
    They're out there.


    Not here. I'll pass.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    irishkcguy saidI don't mean to be an asshole, but I feel pretty confident that nobody with any background in sports or athletics uses the word "jock" to describe themselves today. I've thought this for a while but never actually posted anything here about it, but as a former athlete and coach, I simply never hear the word "jock" used in this context anymore, like we were all living in "Revenge of the Nerds" circa the mid 80s.



    What I've seen, jock has come to have a negative connotation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    Sincityfan saidSome jocks like fatties, most dont.
    They're out there.


    The ones that do are unlikely to be single. Most likely they are going out with handsome rich fatties. Demanding more than you bring to the table is a recipe for disappointment, but there is more than one way to be an appealing date (not a huge variety of ways though).
  • brickboy1966

    Posts: 359

    Mar 05, 2014 9:41 PM GMT
    Why does our community have to be so negative? If that's the attitude of everyone I might as well shoot myself.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 05, 2014 9:42 PM GMT
    The thing that guys like the OP don't get is that it takes hard work, focus and sacrifice to get the "jock" look. Not excuses or lazy thinking and acting like the OP. The effort is made because the "jock" appreciates and values the results. And he has earned the right to not accept less. I see guys in the gym helping under-developed or over weight guys all the time. The mindset and effort is appreciated as long as the newbie is giving it his all.
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Mar 05, 2014 9:52 PM GMT
    mike34 said
    Alexxx5 said
    Sincityfan saidSome jocks like fatties, most dont.
    They're out there.


    Not here. I'll pass.


    +1


    icon_razz.gif
    didnt say it would be easy
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Mar 05, 2014 9:57 PM GMT
    Scout627 said
    irishkcguy saidI don't mean to be an asshole, but I feel pretty confident that nobody with any background in sports or athletics uses the word "jock" to describe themselves today. I've thought this for a while but never actually posted anything here about it, but as a former athlete and coach, I simply never hear the word "jock" used in this context anymore, like we were all living in "Revenge of the Nerds" circa the mid 80s.



    What I've seen, jock has come to have a negative connotation.


    I just think using the word sounds either wildly outdated or completely unsophisticated about sports or athletics.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 05, 2014 10:22 PM GMT
    If you're not a jock, and exercise bores you, why not just find another "non-jock" to date???
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Mar 05, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    The OP may have some inaccurate impressions about why people like this site. I'm a 56 year old man who likes some sports and athletics, likes working out, but I wouldn't label myself a jock. I am more of a nerd who likes sports, particularly tennis, racquetball, and volleyball. I like playing more than watching, although I can watch tennis and volleyball. I like live matches more than TV. I'll watch some Olympic sports, but am not very interested in football, baseball and basketball. My interest in fitness is spurred by the desire to play better tennis and racquetball. I don't play volleyball much anymore because of how hard jumping is on my joints.

    I definitely want to be in better shape, but I would have to be more disciplined about eating. I am unlikely to be dating anyone who would label themselves a jock, because my interests are much broader than just sports. I am interested in psychology, history, politics, theater, literature, science, religion, music, culture, and food.

    I am on this site because I am attracted to lots of men who identify enough as jocks to be interested in fitness and sports. I also like the topics in the forums as well as the information on fitness. I have never met anyone from this site who was interested in dating and at most have exchanged a few e-mails. I would be open to more, but I don't expect it.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 05, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    irishkcguy saidI don't mean to be an asshole, but I feel pretty confident that nobody with any background in sports or athletics uses the word "jock" to describe themselves today. I've thought this for a while but never actually posted anything here about it, but as a former athlete and coach, I simply never hear the word "jock" used in this context anymore, like we were all living in "Revenge of the Nerds" circa the mid 80s.

    I think he's talking more about a body type than an actual athlete... Twinks, jocks, bears, are all labels gay men use to describe someone's appearance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2014 12:20 AM GMT
    Andaman saidI thought this was a dating site like all the others. I guess I assumed wrong. I am not interested in dating myself, because I am not at all narcissistic, and I like partners who are different from me, whether it is size, race, culture or coloring. I don't think anyone should be looking for someone just like themselves. I don't think that is a good basis for a relationship, maybe for a mutual admiration society. Maybe that's why so many couples are out cheating or looking for a third...
    Being a non-jock does not mean I am not interested in, or don't take care of myself. It is one of the more annoying traits of some jocks that they act like their way is the only way to be, and that anyone can do it, and if they don't do it, they are lazy or don't care. That is very unattractive in a man.
    There were years where I was extremely active and I am still strong. You should not make assumptions about others.


    Lol. You should follow your own advice and not make assumptions about others.

    You pretty much just made my point. If you wouldn't be willing to date yourself then you certainly can't expect anyone else to want to. It's really that simple. Clearly you don't want to date an exact replica of yourself. No one does. However, similarity is very attractive.

    Wanna know what is really unattractive in a man? Not being able to accept the reality of one's self. You're on here wanting a jock but aren't really putting anything on the table to attract one. It doesn't work that way.

    Most guys who keep fit are naturally attracted to others who do as well. It's not just a physical thing either. There's a lot more to it then that. It's a connection.

    Take your ass to a gym or just start working out and you'll "get it". Also, I'm calling bs on you not knowing what the deal with this site was about. It clearly states on the main page what the site is so your observation skills need a brush up too along with your piss poor attitude and slightly delusional opinion about "jocks" and those who put effort in to being fit.

    Date a "non-jock" or so someone in the same category as you then. Or put in some effort to attract what you want. Done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2014 1:09 AM GMT
    I really like the fake quotation that I never said. You just prove my point. "Jock" is a label and an attitude. A self-righteous, self-admiring, look-at-me attitude, just like it is in high school. Funny that you say it is not in use; look at the name of the site. Look at how porn gets categorized. Jock is a term totally in use.
    Of course working out takes effort, I know that. I have done it. I have taken 90-minute dance classes in all kinds of temperatures, and it is much harder, and you have to actually think while you do it.
    Working out is repetitious and does not demand a lot of thinking, other than maintaining an activity. Don't pretend it is more than it is. If you are trying to improve yourself, it's not just about the condition of your body, it's also about your behavior, how you treat others, your character and moral fiber. And those are not improved by eating a certain way, or achieving zero-percent body fat or total definition. Having six-pack or twelve-pack abs will not make you worth being with.
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    Mar 07, 2014 1:13 AM GMT
    brickboy1966 saidWhy does our community have to be so negative? If that's the attitude of everyone I might as well shoot myself.

    I'm sure someone is ready to say, "go ahead."
    That's the kind of thinking I find here.
    What is the benefit of working out if it makes you so negative to others?
    What's the benefit when you think you know it all and everyone has to fit into your tiny little box of thinking?
    What's the benefit when you think you are the ideal everyone else has to imitate or admire?