Do u feel pressure to be in shape because you're gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    When I was dating girls fitness didn't seem to be an important aspect of the relationship.

    Dating men however it seems like most of them are after the ripped muscle guy.

    You often see heavy guys with thin/ good looking girls.


    So do you guys feel pressure to workout be in good shape from external or internal forces due to the fact you're gay?

    Why or why not?
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    Mar 04, 2014 2:12 AM GMT
    I feel pressure to work out and be in good shape for the health aspect. Looking good to teh gays is a by-product of that. If I really took the looks part seriously I would spend more time on my pecs and shoulders. Being gay has no bearing on my being in shape. That said, the desire to have a visible six pack is all because of the gay thing. I'm gay fat icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 04, 2014 2:17 AM GMT
    I stay in shape because I sit in a cubicle and stare at computer screen for 8 - 10 hours a day. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    I Definitely feel the pressure! icon_redface.gif
  • Rush_

    Posts: 402

    Mar 04, 2014 3:20 PM GMT
    If you don't go bulemic after your first pride you weren't paying attention lol.

    I joke about eating disorders, but the pressure is very real. How do I know?
    When I was 18...went from over 200 to 140 in about a month and a half and stayed that low until my early/mid 20s. I was anal retentive about never eating more than 1500 calories a day, compulsively exercised my food off or took laxatives to purge. All this because I thought I'd only get guys' attention if I was a twink.
    It doesn't help that we have things like gay fat and such as well. Some may think they're just jokes but they really aren't. Guys truly seem to expect a men's health cover model on every date. It's sad.
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    Mar 04, 2014 3:22 PM GMT
    Yeah. It doesn't help that I burn half of my calories just by blinking icon_sad.gif
  • Trifyre

    Posts: 142

    Mar 04, 2014 3:24 PM GMT
    I definitely feel the pressure, but I think it's a good thing. My roommates and I were talking about it last night and we agreed that there's a big difference between an average straight guy's build, and an average gay guy's build. I think it's good because by continuing to work out, we are healthier and tend to look younger than other guys (yes, that's a big generalization but it is there none the less).

    Personally I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship with someone and then you let yourself go. If I'm with someone, I want to stay looking good for both that person and me. But we all make our choices in life as to what's important.
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    Mar 04, 2014 3:41 PM GMT
    That is an excellent question. I feel both internal and external pressure to have the best body I can have... and I think that is a common aspect of the gay mentality. I think gay men feel pressure to be an object of desire (in the way that women traditionally did). Straight men really don't feel this pressure nearly as much. Not sure why this is true but I believe that it is.
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    Mar 04, 2014 3:48 PM GMT
    No. I feel pressure to stay in shape because I'm narcissistic and shallow.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Mar 04, 2014 4:05 PM GMT
    No pressure on me. Although I do need to get back into a fitness regimen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:16 PM GMT
    no offense but anyone who feels a certain pressure or whatever from society to be in shape is pretty much an insecure piece of work. unless you're a famous actor or smthn

    it's one thing wanting to get in shape bc you know you'll prolly get more ass/cock/whatevs

    but to feel all perturbed about your body bc of retarded standards superficial people hold. that is just extremely stupid.

    & that really doesn't have anything to do w/ being gay. Girls & straight men can be just as shallow.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:31 PM GMT
    Rush_ saidIf you don't go bulemic after your first pride you weren't paying attention lol.

    I joke about eating disorders, but the pressure is very real. How do I know?
    When I was 18...went from over 200 to 140 in about a month and a half and stayed that low until my early/mid 20s. I was anal retentive about never eating more than 1500 calories a day, compulsively exercised my food off or took laxatives to purge. All this because I thought I'd only get guys' attention if I was a twink.
    It doesn't help that we have things like gay fat and such as well. Some may think they're just jokes but they really aren't. Guys truly seem to expect a men's health cover model on every date. It's sad.


    I kind of agree that being gay does put pressure on people to be the full package I.e. Good looking, in shape and financially stable. The problem is you can't always control how much money you earn and you definitely cannot control how good looking you are so being in shape is just about the only thing you can control. The problem in my case is its somewhat counter productive I want to gain muscle and look healthier but due to usually eating one meal a day or some days nothing but water for so long I now can't eat much without being ill and the fact that others are saying there is this pressure that's given them problems with food and body image show perhaps the gay dating scene is too shallow.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Mar 04, 2014 4:37 PM GMT
    stevenbrianp saidNo. I feel pressure to stay in shape because I'm narcissistic and shallow.



    lol win.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 04, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    nope, not at all. i have always liked working out. its a great stress reliever for me. as for straight guys, i have dated women and they do want a guy who is in shape. however, when they get them they usually do not care if he lets himself go because they have what they want at that point.
    i was also told that women usually tries to make sure that there guy is out of shape so that no other woman will want him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    Partially yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:46 PM GMT
    stevenbrianp saidNo. I feel pressure to stay in shape because I'm narcissistic and shallow.


    +1. Finally-- an honest answer!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:47 PM GMT
    Alexxx5 said
    stevenbrianp saidNo. I feel pressure to stay in shape because I'm narcissistic and shallow.


    +1. Finally-- an honest answer!


    LMAO. All these kids trying to sugar coat it or make themselves seem like victims of a shallow, image obsessed society. Men in general are shallow and gay men double so. Accept it and do the work / spend the money to look good or go home.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 4:52 PM GMT
    Absolutely, the shallow gay community expect that we be in some sort of 'fit state' and show some effort to get or maintain that state. Not doing so is considered unacceptable and worthy of revoking one's gay card! I just got my card and don't want to lose it yet so I continue to try.

    Look at this site, is it just by coincidence that all these gay guys are working out, in shape and the site is dedicated to this function? This site is not for guys that want to be healthy and fit, yeah right, it's all about looking good the rest is just an added benefit.

    Yeah, go ahead and say it…NO, I'm here to be healthy….right…..you're all here to see heads turn, it's a requirement.
  • BAHBAA

    Posts: 122

    Mar 04, 2014 4:53 PM GMT
    My mom took me to the Clinique counter for the first time when I was 8. It started there for me lol.

    All joking aside, you only get one body so you have to take care of it.

    I think there are added pressures all depending on what you are looking for... If you want a muscular/fit guy you more than likely need to be in shape yourself.

    I workout often and keep myself in good shape I definitely expect the same from my partner.
  • samlenon

    Posts: 62

    Mar 04, 2014 5:10 PM GMT
    Finally an interesting question..4 those who says its a good thing and make u healthier; really?? Yea its right but at the same time u r under a mental pressure all the time..being gay and healthy in mind and being confident is pretty difficult nowadays..Ever noticed as a gay how much u r judged by other gays in ur life by just ur look? and don't tell me u don't care! not mentioning the fucking homophobic judgments!
    Def its not a healthy life. yea ur body could be healthy ..but how about ur mind?
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    Mar 04, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    BAHBAA saidAll joking aside, you only get one body so you have to take care of it.

    So my question would be, why is this something that, in my opinion, is more prevalent in the gay community than the str8 community? Sure there are str8s that workout and remain in shape and healthy but if the str8s represent 90% of society, shouldn't there be a LOT more that feel this way?

    I think it is a narcissistic 'value' that is prevalent in the gay community and not nearly as much about taking care of your one body. I think that is more about the reasoning gays use so as to NOT look narcissistic.
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    Mar 04, 2014 5:26 PM GMT
    Pressure is proportional to your high standards.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Mar 04, 2014 5:27 PM GMT
    Having an attraction to those in shape I do feel pressure to be in shape myself.
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    Mar 04, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    No, I've never felt any "pressure" to work out & stay in shape. I've been working out & taking very good care of myself all these years because of the "high" I get every time I come out of the gym or pool. That's what keeps me going, and looking good / feeling good (better than most guys who are my age) is an added benefit. "Pressure" to work out? Not at all. "Pleasure" to work out is more liked it for me.
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    Mar 04, 2014 5:33 PM GMT
    Youngun saidWhen I was dating girls fitness didn't seem to be an important aspect of the relationship.

    Dating men however it seems like most of them are after the ripped muscle guy.

    You often see heavy guys with thin/ good looking girls.


    So do you guys feel pressure to workout be in good shape from external or internal forces due to the fact you're gay?

    Why or why not?


    My attraction to muscular male bodies defines my gayness. So if you call libido " pressure" then yes. I feel no attraction to fat guys . Staying fit is also staying healthy at my age.