anyone interested anymore?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2007 10:20 PM GMT
    It's getting so hard to find guys who want the same thing. When I was younger, there would be a guy everytime I turned around. But now it's like I dont catch anyones attention anymore..but I do have to say that I haven't really been looking myself. Someone told me that you'll never find the person you're looking for if you look too hard, to let them find you. Well I've been single for 2 years now..and that's a long time without intamacy..I don't know, I guess you could say I just long for someones touch? I miss the sex as well though lol. Anyways, any kind of input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks guys!
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    Sep 23, 2007 12:17 AM GMT
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 23, 2007 1:34 AM GMT
    There's a difference from letting someone find you and thinking that someone's gonna fall in your lap
    you yourself out there and you'll get chances to meet guys
    ...go out where there are men
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:12 AM GMT
    You know, people and places tend to get stale and stagnant. Maybe that is what you are feeling.

    I am especially sympathetic to your desire to be touched though. A couple of decades ago someone wrote a book about the importance of touch. It can go a long way in making you feel good physically and mentally so I don't think you are crazy for bringing that up.

    I am the same way about being touched. I have very sensitive skin and get goosebumps when someone stokes just about any part of my body.

    As far as attention, you would catch my attention if I saw you and I am sure you would catch lots of other guys attention. Sometimes it is also a matter of looking friendly and approachable though. You have to ask yourself that. Don't underestimate the power of things as simple as smiling.

    Greenville is kinda of small though, do you ever go away? like maybe Atlanta on the weekends? Like I said sometimes places can get stale.

    Oh, one more thing, talk to people that seem interesting or that are easy to talk to even if you are not interested in them physically .. if you can make other friends maybe they can introduce you to other people. Its like networking. Thats the best way to get a job or make friends. My camping group here in San Diego started that way. People bring other people they know and before you know it there were a bunch of people to get to know.

    Think about those things.
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    Sep 23, 2007 2:59 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFitGreenville is kinda of small though, do you ever go away?

    There doesn't seem to be much of a gay social scene for most of South Carolina, so I'm sure meeting people can be hard...especially finding someone you connect with.

    And yes, don't look to hard...but you also got to put yourself out there best you can.

    It'll're a good looking guy :)

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    Sep 23, 2007 3:44 AM GMT
    lilman, you're 22 and you're cute....RELAX! ......Being 43 and single is much scarier believe me!
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 23, 2007 3:59 AM GMT
    Agree with ActiveandFit. I have 2 houses, one a suburban house where I work and another a small city apartment in the capital with 2 million population. (5 hours apart of each other) I hardly get any sex here in this dull, conservative town. They no gay club, no gay pick up places , only one overprice gay sauna (mostly fat unattractive guys) .Most weekend I be in my city apartment where all the excitement and guys is. Sex and hook up are easy there, though I admit relationship and meaningfull relationship is not. So probably if you cannot find guys where you are , you need to go to the place where they are.

    BTW, dont worry to much about it. You are young , goodlooking , love will come to you soon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 5:49 AM GMT
    i dont know why your single your way hot ;) but trust me i know the feelin its been about a year for me but honestly ive enjoyed the simplicity of life, but i do miss the companionship and the intamacy and the sex
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    Sep 23, 2007 6:10 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the responses guys, I appreciate it :)

    GQ - Yea, I used to go out all the time. I'm not too big on the club scene and being in SC, I don't think there's too many places for the gay scene.

    Active - Yea, you are right about that, touch can make you feel great. And yes, I used to go out to Atlanta and Charlotte on the weekends, but as I said to GQ, not big on the club scene. Too bad there can't be like a gay community or something like that...maybe there is?

    Joe - Yea, you are also right about meeting people you can connect with. I meet new people everyday, just people I don't "connect" with. I'm still waiting for that person. I'll try and get myself out there more though :)

    Short - Lol, I'll try and relax..thanks

    Zak - It's not that I'm just looking for sex, I could get that if I wanted it lol. Don't get me wrong I love sex as much as the next person, who doesnt. But life isn't all about that. I'm sure love will find me soon, but we can dream right?

    Xpreso - Thanks man. And you're right, I do enjoy the simplicity..I've learned alot about myself in the 2 years I've been single. I guess I'm at that point where I want someone to share myself with..idk..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 6:29 AM GMT
    lilmaninscToo bad there can't be like a gay community or something like that...maybe there is?

    You know there used to be something for young people coming out but I don't if there still is. Someone mentioned in another forum how Atlanta was a little hard to crack and that there are more private things going on socially. I experienced that when I was there, but just before I moved I made a few friends that would invite me to parties, grilling out, and other group activities. Thats why I said it would probably be better it you could meet friends like that. Other than that you just have to be patient. I wonder if any of those gay "dating" sites are any good: Like the one they advertise here .. ??

    Anyway sorry if I am trying to be too helpful, its my big brother complex.
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    Sep 23, 2007 6:53 AM GMT
    I feel ur pain lilmaninsc!!!

    It works ONLY online because everyone is anonymous EVEN with the pics. Everyone flirts then The no sex thing SUX! My hand hates me. I've been w/o a significant other since 04'. Not that I've been looking hard, but I would think I had a lil' sumthin to bring to the pun
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 23, 2007 3:50 PM GMT
    I wasn't necessarily talking about the clubs or bars
    ... do what you like to do
    doesn't matter what it is
    could be bungee jumping for all I care
    ... but if you're doing what you like to do people will become attracted to that and eventually you will meet someone
  • Warren

    Posts: 99

    Sep 23, 2007 4:01 PM GMT

    personally, I haven't even had a relationship yet, so maybe I'm not the best to say anything, but greenville sucks... You're a hot guy who should able to find plenty of dates (not just hookups). I've lived there since I was born too, and I've grown to hate it after seeing other cities and experiencing an open and accepting environment.

    I guess I don't really have an answer, personally, i'm moving to NYC in the spring, but that's not easy for everyone to do.

    Stick with it, eventually you'll find the right person, or they'll find you, and all the waiting will be worth it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 4:02 PM GMT
    bottom dating is matter where you live...finding someone you connect with and have the same interests that keep you hard...then add to it... has the same capabilities with regard to intimacy and commitment....etc....and its like looking for a needle in a matter if youre in Greenville, SC or New York CIty.

    I ahve a good good friend who lives in San Fran....he is gorgeous...successful...lives in the heart of the Castro, and cant meet a decent guy to save his life...he is as hell...sweet and kind and caring as can be...but just cant...

    So dont feel advice...just live your life and it will happen when its supposed to happen...thats my outlook on dating and relationships right practicing what I preach and Ive never been more content and optimisitc...and beleive it or not...all of a phone wont stop ringing...with interested who know...time will tell.

    All the best, and hang in there.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2007 4:21 PM GMT
    Have faith, go out with your friends and one day your sure to meet somebody special. Being alone can be hard, and I reckon gay guys have the worst time of it.
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    Sep 23, 2007 4:51 PM GMT
    Guy, I know what you are feeling. I became a widow(er) 9 years ago, I spent almost 2 years as a virtual hermit, I wanted my next guy to come and find me, at home. My survival instinct somehow kicked in and decided to go out and find me another man with the same qualities as the one I had for 25 happy years, guess what? He is not out there. So I reached the conclusion that I would go out there and see who would happen. I've had my share of fun for the last 6 plus years. The kicker is, it took a friend from out of town to come visit a couple of months ago, he dared me to go to a bathhouse, within 30 minutes I was quite excited but bored, went to the sun roof, laid down on a lounge chair, this man started talking about the nice weather we were having, end result: we did the cursory phone exchange,(NO SEX), my friend went back home to NYC. Two days later the guy called me, I took him to dinner, he brought me to his place,(sorry, no graphics here), we have been meeting 3 times a week at his place or mine. Now who in this God's earth would have told me I could find a keeper in a bathouse? Life happens, just let it.
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    Sep 24, 2007 5:37 AM GMT

    I know how you feel. I spent the vast majority of my life not too far from you in NC. There was just nothing there... most of the gay guys in town were waaaaayyy in the closet, and when I would go to the nearest city (Raleigh) they were all either drama queens, players or posers.

    But don't worry too much... you're a hot looking guy, you're young and it will happen for you. Like everyone's saying... put yourself out there but don't look too hard. Love will find you... and its much better for it to take a little longer and be the right guy than for it to happen too fast and it be the wrong guy.


    I'm feeling you on that! I'm 45 and single... sometimes that's real damned scary! LOL
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    Sep 26, 2007 4:05 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for your replies. I've looked into some alternative ways of meeting guys in my community. There's some SC Equality Rights group that I've joined. They get together about once a week to discuss things. I thought it'd be a good way to meet some new people. Thanks again icon_smile.gif
  • canuckdave

    Posts: 85

    Sep 26, 2007 4:07 AM GMT
    I read the post and thought you were 40 or something.. Only 22!! Give me a break....You have a lifetime of love and heartbreak ahead of you...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2007 4:21 AM GMT
    Yea, I may only be 22, but you don't know how much a person can go through in I said, I just want the intimacy, someone to come home to, someone to be close with for once in my life.
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    Sep 29, 2007 12:13 AM GMT
    It breaks my heart to reads things like this. Sometimes despite its many wonders and numerous locations the world can be like an island. To be surrounded by so many but still feel isolated is a feeling that I wouldn't wish on anyone because it is something that I feel often.

    There is no telling what makes us unapproachable, what aura or cosmic waves we send out to the world that creates such distance, but I too find myself walking down the street, or through campus, or simply sitting down in class and people shy away from me. I go out of my way to start conversations, I try to get people involved, but it is often a failed cause.

    You are a very attractive man and what it really comes down to is decided what you want and letting the world see it. Don't let your ego get in the way of you making the first step to start bonds and connections.

    And I agree with the concept of making friends with new people who you may not be interested in. For instance I might not be your type, but I make one hell of a friend. Its not wise to pass people like me by and you never know when we may introduce you to someone else or at least lend an open ear during these times of need.

    I sometimes forget that despite all the muscled frames on this site that you are people going through the same things as myself. Lets stay strong and remain optimistic I bet someday both of us will have what we're looking for.