Partner/Friends/Family and food... any tips on how to get them to help vs. hinder a healthy diet?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    I'm in a lucky position to have a great family, great partner and great friends. My only complaint is that -- because I want to spend time with them -- I am also spending time with all kinds of food that is good going down but not on my food plan. I don't buy this stuff and bring it into my house, but because of the people in my life, I'm surrounded with it!

    Whenever we go out, someone orders naughty appetizers "for the table" and then people eat hardly any of it. And of course when you are visiting someone's home, you can't exactly dictate the menu! I often end up eating stuff i shouldn't because a.) I'm used to eating 5 times a day and get hungry an hour or two after eating b.) everybody else is eating it and I don't want to be a drag all the time c.) I don't want to offend someone who worked hard on a meal d.) I was raised with Catholic guilt about wasting food.

    I know the restaurant part of it is just a question of will power and making sure I'm not walking in the door hungry so I can resist the appetizers and order something sensible, but:

    Is it rude to bring baggies of your own snacks to a house party in case there's nothing you should be eating?

    How do you handle "food enablers" in your life who take it personally if you don't eat what they cook, order or eat?

    I will be 40 this year and I'm setting an ambitious fitness goal for myself by summer. I'm thinking of sending a note to all the people who can affect my progress positively or negatively, asking for their support. Wondering what the community thinks.

    Thanks




  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 22, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    My family knows about my diet and doesn't care that I bring my own meals with me.

    For a party, I bring enough to share with everyone. Christmas eve I am bringing a platter of gluten-free french bread, veggies and homemade hummus.
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    Dec 23, 2008 2:22 AM GMT
    I have these 'Food Enablers' all around me and it does hinder progress. Not that I am putting all the blame on them, but it does make it much much more difficult.

    My partner is shocking for destroying my nutrition plans. He is lovely as he cooks dinner for me now and again, but when it does arrive to me is nearly ALL carbs. A dinner he prepared the other night was this: 2 strips of crumbed chicken, fries, pasta with some sauce and garlic bread. I nearly died! I didn't know what to say.. The meal would have been close to 1500kj of pure carb! I didn't want to hurt his feelings by saying that I cant eat it. I did leave half of it on my plate though.. he then asked why I didn't eat it all.. sigh..

    I have talked to him about this all before, but I don't think it gets though. He can eat anything he wants and his fast metabolism gets rid of it. Any carb I eat hangs around for about 3 days! I just cant get it through to him that my body works differently!

    Going to the families for dinner is a similar thing. I get asked 'What's wrong with my cooking?', if I don't eat it all.

    I have yet to find a solution to this other than say no to all dinner invitations and cooking for myself.. but things don't go as smoothly as that..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    LOL, I have a theory, though, that all the junk people like him eat goes into storage somewhere, and -- when he hits a certain age -- it'll be back to find him!

    Yeah the boyfriend is another whole problem although I've made progress with him. He used to beg me to go to places like McDonald's and IHOP (not sure if you have those where you live, but you would be in carb hell). I tried to explain that even "healthy" choices in a place like that are made with cheap, not-good-for-you ingredients. I have gotten him to eat my cooking at home with minimal complaints (he says I cook chicken too often), but it's spending time with his family that is the biggest challenge. So many temptations!

    I posted this same question on another board and got some good ideas. They are reasonable people who care about me so if I script my request in a respectful way I am hoping I can get the support I need.

    Tork saidI have these 'Food Enablers' all around me and it does hinder progress. Not that I am putting all the blame on them, but it does make it much much more difficult.

    My partner is shocking for destroying my nutrition plans. He is lovely as he cooks dinner for me now and again, but when it does arrive to me is nearly ALL carbs. A dinner he prepared the other night was this: 2 strips of crumbed chicken, fries, pasta with some sauce and garlic bread. I nearly died! I didn't know what to say.. The meal would have been close to 1500kj of pure carb! I didn't want to hurt his feelings by saying that I cant eat it. I did leave half of it on my plate though.. he then asked why I didn't eat it all.. sigh..

    I have talked to him about this all before, but I don't think it gets though. He can eat anything he wants and his fast metabolism gets rid of it. Any carb I eat hangs around for about 3 days! I just cant get it through to him that my body works differently!

    Going to the families for dinner is a similar thing. I get asked 'What's wrong with my cooking?', if I don't eat it all.

    I have yet to find a solution to this other than say no to all dinner invitations and cooking for myself.. but things don't go as smoothly as that..