Dating in NYC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2014 4:18 PM GMT
    What have your experiences dating in NYC been like?

    Is it overrated?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2014 6:33 PM GMT
    From my experience nyc guys are very busy and flakey
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2014 7:21 PM GMT
    Romero23 saidFrom my experience nyc guys are very busy and flakey


    Great!

    :sarcasm:
  • musclpa

    Posts: 97

    Mar 04, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
    Their lives are based on sex and drugs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2014 8:01 PM GMT
    musclpa saidTheir lives are based on sex and drugs


    Turn off your TV and come visit us here. You'll see how wrong you are. NY men are way too driven and high functioning for those dumb stereotypes.

    Maybe you're thinking of San Francisco? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2014 8:36 PM GMT
    Romero23 saidFrom my experience nyc guys are very busy and flakey


    And how is that different from any city out there? LA, Atlanta, Chicago, etc.

    It's not!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 4:50 AM GMT
    It can be difficult at times but there are great guys out there. Just have to keep putting yourself out there till you hit something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 4:53 AM GMT
    musclpa saidTheir lives are based on sex and drugs


    lol sounds more like western PA and Kentucky hahahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 4:58 AM GMT
    From a good looking friend of mine who spent 3 years there ... his experience was guys are always looking for the next best thing. There's such a huge group of gay guys to choose from. After dating for 6 months even the mention of the word BF has guys running for the hills icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 5:08 AM GMT
    Big gay city, too many choices just like LA.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 5:47 AM GMT
    Often you find the perfect gem stone because it's separated by earth from others. Too many gem stones simply thrown into a bowl - and yes they will all sparkle- but the radiance of one is hard to discern.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 8:59 AM GMT
    Romero23 saidFrom my experience nyc guys are very busy and flakey


    Busy - True

    Flakey - because a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment is so out of reach
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:01 AM GMT
    The best tip is to go with the transplants -- guys who grew up in smaller, more far-flung areas and have some decent sense and perspective about the world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:05 AM GMT
    musclpa saidTheir lives are based on sex and drugs


    My life wasn't based on sex and drugs.

    It was based on the arts (Met Museum), science (the planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History), lectures (92nd St. Y), finance, professional development (learning the stock market, film critics class at NYU), tennis and racquetball (social sports), church (including small groups, retreats, choirs--social activities), meetup.com, and manmate offline dating service, stopping by Splash in Chelsea for 20 minutes or so.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:17 AM GMT
    Alexxx5 said
    musclpa saidTheir lives are based on sex and drugs


    Turn off your TV and come visit us here. You'll see how wrong you are. NY men are way too driven and high functioning ...

    icon_biggrin.gif


    They weren't driven to set up a two bedroom two bathroom, shared car home. That's not the norm.

    Are there couples who set up homes in NYC? Yes. I met them through my church, through The Center, in the arts (a classical pianist and his lover).

    I had neighbors in my apartment building who were a couple (dysfunctional, so that might not count).

    They weren't driven to establish community and connection through gay friendly churches. At Marble Collegiate Church, I remember an incident where it was "if they won't come to us, we will go to them," so one of our ministers gave a talk at The Center (I still have the DVD).



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:22 AM GMT
    Erik101 said
    Romero23 saidFrom my experience nyc guys are very busy and flakey


    And how is that different from any city out there? LA, Atlanta, Chicago, etc.

    It's not!


    And you have to watch out for the affluent ones who put relationships on their bucket list because they have the means to have a relationship. Once they feel they've experienced having a relationship ... the social construct of building a secure life with that person is over.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:24 AM GMT
    Elusium saidThe best tip is to go with the transplants -- guys who grew up in smaller, more far-flung areas and have some decent sense and perspective about the world.


    Time to find me a country-turn-city boy icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:25 AM GMT
    NiceGuy01NY saidIt can be difficult at times but there are great guys out there. Just have to keep putting yourself out there till you hit something.


    It's not a numbers game. Astrology, life coaching, and an inner clan of family and community are needed to hold it together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:33 AM GMT
    S34n05 saidFrom a good looking friend of mine who spent 3 years there ... his experience was guys are always looking for the next best thing. There's such a huge group of gay guys to choose from. After dating for 6 months even the mention of the word BF has guys running for the hills icon_lol.gif


    1. They're hoping the next best thing will provide them means.

    2. They don't have the means to be best friends.

    Just like the television show Smash, guys in the arts go on cruise ships for work or do regional theater, or have roommates.

    Many guys are looking for the guys who make $80,000+ a year because they think they've reached an island.

    Guys who make $80,000+ need a little arm candy because at work, there is pressure to prove to the boss and co-workers that they are supporting your means of income of a lifestyle they approve.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:37 AM GMT
    Hopefully, with gay marriage in NYC, work pressure will allow boss and office politicians to support your efforts of earning an income for a lifestyle with boyfriend.

    I remember one gay bank VP who invited us over to see his home.

    By the same token, I've had a millionaire tell me, if you haven't had a heterosexual marriage and children you are not granted entry into certain areas of earning an income. It's like that in Texas, also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:39 AM GMT
    socalx10 saidBig gay city, too many choices just like LA.


    Choices?

    As if: there's plenty of rejection in the big gay city, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 9:52 AM GMT
    FitBy25 said
    Elusium saidThe best tip is to go with the transplants -- guys who grew up in smaller, more far-flung areas and have some decent sense and perspective about the world.


    Time to find me a country-turn-city boy icon_confused.gif


    It's really astrological-psychological. If the guy's life does not allow him to know his essential domestic and social needs, if his youth and independence is too noisy, a bond of essence will not be recognized, valued, and empowered.

    My longest term male friendship was rooted in my friends history of volunteerism when he was a young man. What he volunteered for made me trust him 100%. That's one of the major reasons we were successful.

    This goes back to what I was saying earlier. Do you have the means to volunteer and then with that social resume, get recognized for your non-paid passion?

    I'm working on this now. How will I volunteer next?
    Writing about the historical accuracy of the Bible isn't winning too many friends attracted to my integrity for that topic. Being a big brother may do something for me. Should I volunteer in the LGBT community?
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Mar 05, 2014 11:36 AM GMT
    Yall are cute! Please, tell me how dating in one of the gay meccas of the world is so difficult. I'll be over here, in my small town with no gay scene, judging.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Mar 05, 2014 4:44 PM GMT
    I live in NYC. As others have pointed out: Too many men who are too busy and many who gym 7 days a week only to do drugs on weekends. It's difficult to date here. I've only found one 'diamond' in the rough.. and he didn't want a relationship due to being too busy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2014 5:07 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidI live in NYC. As others have pointed out: Too many men who are too busy and many who gym 7 days a week only to do drugs on weekends. It's difficult to date here. I've only found one 'diamond' in the rough.. and he didn't want a relationship due to being too busy.


    sorry to hear that :/

    note to self: never move to NYC