Do you think that effeminate gay men give the gay community a bad reputation?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:35 PM GMT
    I recently had a discussion about this topic in a facebook group. Sadly, it didn't end well so I hope to see what you guys think. I personally think that not all fem guys behave the same way and they aren't all obsessed with being like women. It's only the slutty ones that give us a bad rep. What do you think?
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:41 PM GMT


    Which gay community? There are thousands and thousands and thousands. icon_question.gif

    Do effeminate gay people give gays a bad rep? I say no.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    No.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    immunity said
    It's like saying that trailer trash makes white people look bad, or that girls gone wild videos make heterosexual women look bad.


    In regards to the OP's comment about 'slutty ones'...Pretty much this.
  • roadbikeRob

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    Mar 04, 2014 7:47 PM GMT
    I think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:49 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidI think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.


    Agreed, but at the end of the day, a homophobe will come up with any excuse.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:51 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidI think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.


    Well that's a good point. Flamers are the cause of many stereotypes in the gay world. I dunno, maybe they do give us a bad image.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:53 PM GMT
    immunity saidI don't think it matters how any gay person expresses themselves - they should not have basic human rights denied to them for any reason.
    It's like saying that trailer trash makes white people look bad, or that girls gone wild videos make heterosexual women look bad.
    First of all, no it doesn't. Second of all, if it did, that wouldn't make it okay for people to violate their rights based on that behaviour.


    lol wtf? Nobody is talking about equal rights. We are talking about Girly gay men giving the gay community a bad rep.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 7:59 PM GMT
    It takes all sorts to make a world so I don't care if someone is effeminate it doesn't matter to me.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:00 PM GMT
    No, if you're not a fem no one is going to treat you like that and it wont affect you so who cares others are? On the other hand what really bothers me is the "youre a slut" stereotype because that can be aplied to everyone even if you're not.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:01 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidI think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.


    Hmm...so how does that explain the situation in Canada etc?

    Slutty behaviours are also pandemographic. I think it rather foolish to judge all by some.
  • roadbikeRob

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    Mar 04, 2014 8:02 PM GMT
    Girly acting gay men give a negative reputation to all us gays because society accepts the stereotype that all gay men are that way. That is a major barrier to equality for all of us.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    roadbikeRob saidI think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.


    Hmm...so how does that explain the situation in Canada etc?

    Slutty behaviours are also pandemographic. I think it rather foolish to judge all by some.


    Well, stereotypes exist for a reason, don't you think? People just don't come up with stereotypes just because they're bored. That's why I ask about the girly gay man stereotype. Unfortunately, they are usually the loudest ones.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:04 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidGirly acting gay men give a negative reputation to all us gays because society accepts the stereotype that all gay men are that way. That is a major barrier to equality for all of us.


    Well, you have a choice then, cater to the numb-nuts, or educate them. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:08 PM GMT
    People will always stereotype an entire segment of a culture, based on the actions of a few. I don't think anything can be done to really change that. Just be your best and have a positive impact on those around you.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:09 PM GMT
    Xavier92 said
    meninlove said
    roadbikeRob saidI think that some of the effeminate men are a negative liability for the gay community because they stand out the most. The slutty acting ones are a major part of the problem which causes stereotypes about all us gay men being the same way and undeserving of equal rights. I don't condone discrimination against any group of people. But at the same token, certain segments of the gay community have become a major embarrassment to all the rest of us. They have not helped our cause but instead have hindered it.


    Hmm...so how does that explain the situation in Canada etc?

    Slutty behaviours are also pandemographic. I think it rather foolish to judge all by some.


    Well, stereotypes exist for a reason, don't you think? People just don't come up with stereotypes just because they're bored. That's why I ask about the girly gay man stereotype. Unfortunately, they are usually the loudest ones.


    The media generates the stereotypes for big buckeroos. Sensationalism sells. Why doesn't the media make average joe gays their focus? Same reason that tabloids don't.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 8:09 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidGirly acting gay men give a negative reputation to all us gays because society accepts the stereotype that all gay men are that way. That is a major barrier to equality for all of us.

    Yeah but when they see you (asuming youre not fem) and you tell them your gay that stereotype is broken, or youre the exception to the rule, either way the fem thing wont affect you directly in any way.
  • Webster666

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    Mar 04, 2014 11:42 PM GMT
    It was the more effeminate gay men who had the balls to stand up and fight for the gay rights that we take for granted, today.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 11:48 PM GMT
    The fact that you guys are all falling for this troll OP time after time is quite intriguing, really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2014 11:56 PM GMT
    Boy Xaviar92, you sure know how to pick thread topics. We'll know you hit bottom when you start an Israel/Palestine thread.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 04, 2014 11:56 PM GMT
    I think bigots will use any little excuse to be offended by gays, just like they use any little excuse to be offended by all the other people of any particular race they do not like.
  • kentstrongtom...

    Posts: 1294

    Mar 05, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    Only if they act or talk bitchy.
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    Mar 05, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    kentstrongtommy saidOnly if they act or talk bitchy.


    Agree agree agree.

    and I don't mean feminine, high voice. I mean like "mean girls" bitchy. No one wants to deal with that shit and (IMO) it reflects really badly onto all of us.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 05, 2014 12:52 AM GMT
    The way I see it, if you believe someone or a group of people can give a sub-population a bad name, you are giving into narrow minded thinking that prefers to judge a race, sexuality, nationality, religion, etc. by the actions of a few—you're giving weight to their ignorance.

    And assuming people know the definition of "bad" or have a good idea of what it means, I don't see how they can categorize effeminate as bad, as it pertains to having "feminine" qualities. What is inherently bad about feminine?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    Questioning whether gay people "think that effeminate gay men give the gay community a bad reputation" probably has a better chance of earning the gay community a bad reputation.