A bitch about men!

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    Dec 22, 2008 11:18 PM GMT
    I wanna get something off my chest and I wanna preface this with a lil somethin.
    I know I aint the hottest guy in a room, I'm not the smartest either, I do know I'm usually one of the very few guys with big enough balls to walk up to a guy and start a conversation if I think hes hot..
    Not all guys I do I talk to I end up getting, but of all the guys I talk too, at least 90% are interested.. the ones who aren't are usually kinda greatful that I came up and talked to them.

    NOW, sometimes I don't wanna go up to a guy, I'd like a guy to approach me... heres a good fucking example of a guy who could have safely approached me!!!

    I'm at the gym this morning, working my arse off, ya know, trying to be one of them buff things, doing ma stuff, working ma arse, covertly checking out the hot arse and comparing my self to them or even using them for inspiration.

    So I'm on the incline bench, doing inclined dumbbell presses, I'm feeling good, gettin them out.. NOW, this guy, about my height, broad, blondish hair, kinda on his way to a body builder I think sits down on a flat bench about 3 benches away.
    Now I've seen this guy before, I smiled at him not long ago, he blushed when I smiled at him, I catch his eye, hold it for a second, he gets this big arse smile on his face and turns a little pink, anyway, he starts doing his stuff (some shoulder thing, wasn't paying that much attention) Anyway, for some reason, when I'm resting hes resting (eventually I worked out he was keeping time with me) so we play that game, I smile at him, he smiles at me, ugh, boring..
    so, I get to the end of my last set and I get up and have to walk past him, I give him my best "I think your hot" smile, say hi, he again goes a little pinkish, gives me an enthusiastic hi back.. Now, personally, I would have thought that would have been a MASSIVE FUCKING INDICATION that I was interested..

    A guy, after smiling at you, says hi to you, it should tell you that hes kewl, ya know, you can go talk to him... well I stupidly thought I'd let him make the first move.... Well fuck me if he didn't have the fucking balls... I gave him ample opportunity to come say hell, to have a conversation with me, hell as I was leaving we passed each other HE COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wasn't expecting some bloody big speech, just saying hello to me would have been more then enough, I would have taken it and put the effort in after that...

    Fuck guys, gotta grow some god damned balls, I mean really, a guy is all smiles, hes looking at you, hes holding your gaze, he says hi WHAT MORE DO YOU GOD DAMNED WELL WANT YA BUNCH A BLOODY PANSIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG I could just scream right now...

    Thats it, I give up I am not going to chase guys any more, I want a guy with balls, someone confident enough in them self to go after me....

    *coughs* thank you for letting me get that off my chest icon_biggrin.gif I do love you all still
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:24 PM GMT
    I bet that guy's thinking the exact same thing about you wondering why you're too pussy to hit on him.
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:24 PM GMT
    jakebenson saidI bet that guy's thinking the exact same thing about you wondering why you're too pussy to hit on him.

    He can go wonder all he bloody well wants, I aint gonna bother!
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    I am one of those guys Tanker. I am nearly incapable of being hit on or hitting on with any grace. I am so sorry and I apologize on behalf of all men who lack balls.
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:34 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI am one of those guys Tanker. I am nearly incapable of being hit on or hitting on with any grace. I am so sorry and I apologize on behalf of all men who lack balls.


    I don't care about grace, you can be the biggest dorkiest dork in all of dorks county for all I care.. just say hello, I'll take it from there, just would be nice to gave a guy do that first ya know.. I've had very few guys approach me but when they do it always made me feel really good...

    Hell, if you can't bring your self to say hello fall over in front me it, its worked for one guy before
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:37 PM GMT


    He's probably shy, lilTanker, and if you're like you are here when you're at the gym, you likely know tons of guys and he sees you chatting them up and for some guys, maybe him, it can be a little daunting. If he's heard your conversations with others he probably knows you have a swift wit and could be afraid to mess up.

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    Dec 22, 2008 11:49 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    He's probably shy, lilTanker, and if you're like you are here when you're at the gym, you likely know tons of guys and he sees you chatting them up and for some guys, maybe him, it can be a little daunting. If he's heard your conversations with others he probably knows you have a swift wit and could be afraid to mess up.



    I'm the same on here as I am in person, I surely can't be scary can I? I'm just another guy, theres nothing remarkable about me, I'm no Adonis, I can be shy, I talk to people nicely, I play with everyone, anyone who plays back gets my attention, I've never snubbed anyone, I've always been kinda and considerate.. I don't get why he'd be shy to come up to me, especially if hes watched me interact with people..
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:55 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    jakebenson saidI bet that guy's thinking the exact same thing about you wondering why you're too pussy to hit on him.

    He can go wonder all he bloody well wants, I aint gonna bother!


    I was rarely in the mood to hit on guys. Call it logic. I wanted a relationship, I knew having sex with a guy would kill any chance of a relationship with him, so I would not give the guy a hint that I found him attractive. I would prefer to become friends with him first, then f**k like bunnies after I got to like him as a person.

    Occassionally I would get frustrated and weaken, so I would return the stares I got from a guy, go home to his place have (hopefully) great sex, then never see him again. That is why I hated casual sex. The whole let us exchange phone #s dance I hated.
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:57 PM GMT
    but at least you where doing something.. you might not be interested in going home with him, thats kewl, I wasn't gonna take this guy home either.. but damn at least you would start talking to the guy to see where it might go...
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:57 PM GMT

    Heh, now how does a shy guy act around a popular guy? Probably blush a lot and only speak when spoken to. You're not scary, but to him you're probably on the mark and he feels clumsy.

    Of course, he could be straight and you remind him of his cousin Melvin, who he hasn't seen in 10 years since Melvin was kidnapped by Gypsies.
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:59 PM GMT
    ooooh Don't let me give you the wrong impression, I'm not popular hahaha, I talk to a small group of people the rest of the time I pretty much keep to my self icon_biggrin.gif

    And hes gay, you don't watch arse like that unless your thinking dirty thoughts.. he be thinking filthy!!
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    Dec 22, 2008 11:59 PM GMT
    It's because you're a nasty little wanker that goes around threatening people with pitchforks.

    But really, you come across as awesomely outgoing and seem to possess a devil-may-care charisma that might cow some guys. I don't wanna start up another 'I'm so intimidating' thread, but maybe that might have something to do with it. I know I've caught myself now and then thinking 'that dude did not just talk to me. He's too cool to be talking to me...he musta thought I was someone else." As an observer, I might agree with you that your actions blatantly screamed "FUCK ME NOW YOU BITCH!!!"...but if I were the object of that treatment, who knows what I'd think. And remember, our own self-perception (and confidence) change on a daily basis. Perhaps he ate ice cream the night before. When I eat cookies, I think nobody but Sedative could possibly want to talk to me. And he'd only be wanting to steal the cookies.
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    I think the guy was just petrified.

    Honestly, you would intimidate me if I saw you in the gym. (Not that you would cruise me but if you were momentarily blind and did, then I would be intimidated.)

    It costs nothing to say hello. You say as much yourself. I think you just have to accept the fact that your a big ole quick witted relaxed stud who isn't easily intimidated.

    Your likely to be the alpha in 99.999999% of all situations.

    T
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:19 AM GMT
    lilTanker said

    OMG I could just scream right now...


    Um, you just did!!!!

    Oh lilTanker..... It happens to the BEST of us!!! I have realized that there is something about me that keeps men at bay and I MUST be the aggressor and have to be the one to approach them. Although, occasionally I have been surprised by someone approaching me, but it's usually some little "boy" or overly LARGE "bear" that does not comprehend the meaning of the English language or just a simple hello and resorts to some disgusting, cheesy pick-up line!

    You'll settle in to who you are and what you're able to do! Those of us who do have balls needs to take them, along with others, and run with them!!!! So, let's go!
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:19 AM GMT
    SurrealLife said
    I was rarely in the mood to hit on guys. Call it logic. I wanted a relationship, I knew having sex with a guy would kill any chance of a relationship with him, so I would not give the guy a hint that I found him attractive. I would prefer to become friends with him first, then f**k like bunnies after I got to like him as a person.

    Occassionally I would get frustrated and weaken, so I would return the stares I got from a guy, go home to his place have (hopefully) great sex, then never see him again. That is why I hated casual sex. The whole let us exchange phone #s dance I hated.


    Snap!
  • JayneCobb

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    Dec 23, 2008 12:32 AM GMT
    I had out the "Hey I'm into you" smiles al the time, but never actually approch the guys. I can never tell if their gay or straight so I put it out there and let them decide how to take it.
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:36 AM GMT
    zdrew saidIt's because you're a nasty little wanker that goes around threatening people with pitchforks.

    icon_twisted.gif gotta fork someone may as well be you icon_razz.gif

    zdrew saidBut really, you come across as awesomely outgoing and seem to possess a devil-may-care charisma that might cow some guys. I don't wanna start up another 'I'm so intimidating' thread, but maybe that might have something to do with it. I know I've caught myself now and then thinking 'that dude did not just talk to me. He's too cool to be talking to me...he musta thought I was someone else." As an observer, I might agree with you that your actions blatantly screamed "FUCK ME NOW YOU BITCH!!!"...but if I were the object of that treatment, who knows what I'd think. And remember, our own self-perception (and confidence) change on a daily basis. Perhaps he ate ice cream the night before. When I eat cookies, I think nobody but Sedative could possibly want to talk to me. And he'd only be wanting to steal the cookies.

    I'd want you after cookies, not sure I'd wanna stand in Sedatives way though.. I could get hurt..

    I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to talk to you, your hot, your funny and your intelligent, hell, I'd give a left nut to chat you up.. why wouldn't I? Your hotter then me, you got a better body, but your still just a guy, you've the same fears as me... your just a guy...

    And hell even I could tell I was giving off the "fuck me now you bitch!!!!" signals HELL the entire gym could pick up on it...

    My confidence changes almost hourly, but still, talking to a guy is never a downer, it makes you feel good, even being rejected its still a good feeling.. well unless they are a prick about it!

    ursamajor saidI think the guy was just petrified.

    Honestly, you would intimidate me if I saw you in the gym. (Not that you would cruise me but if you were momentarily blind and did, then I would be intimidated.)

    It costs nothing to say hello. You say as much yourself. I think you just have to accept the fact that your a big ole quick witted relaxed stud who isn't easily intimidated.

    Your likely to be the alpha in 99.999999% of all situations.

    T

    What on earth would I have on you that you haven't got? if you chatted me up, I'd be down right flattered.. alpha male or not, I"m just a guy... Nothing more, I hurt, I scream, I cry, I bake..
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:38 AM GMT
    BoardRider53 saidI had out the "Hey I'm into you" smiles al the time, but never actually approch the guys. I can never tell if their gay or straight so I put it out there and let them decide how to take it.


    Go approach them, it'll make you andthem feel good, you got the goods, who cares if they are straight or gay, just go talk to them.. a talk doesn't mean sex, it means a talk!!!
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:44 AM GMT
    i find that if a guy is benching, you should just walk up and tea bag him while he's mid-set. it's a subtle way of letting them know you're interested and it's a great conversation starter....
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:45 AM GMT
    Depends on location and peoples' comfort zones, too, I suspect. For instance, I'd have no trouble going up to you and chatting, say, at a bar, out in public, etc. But in the gym? Probably not, because even after years of working out, I still have the mindset I had the first time I went - that I'm the scrawny wimp that the big muscley guys would take the time to talk to. Maybe that's this guy's issue.

    And by the way: I'd totally chat with you. Just remember, I may fork, but I never spoon. icon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:46 AM GMT
    Some things shall never change, and this is one of them. icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:48 AM GMT
    Me, I'm all about the unexpected approach. I'll say hey almost instantly to someone that I find attractive (no more than 30 seconds), however if I wait too long (couple minutes) I'll psych myself out of it. Gotta move quick before my mind gets too worked up. That's my strategy.

    What's your wait time lilTanker before you approach?
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:56 AM GMT
    LalaPaulooza saidi find that if a guy is benching, you should just walk up and tea bag him while he's mid-set. it's a subtle way of letting them know you're interested and it's a great conversation starter....


    ROTFLMAO This was worth it just for that responce!!! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    zdrew saidDepends on location and peoples' comfort zones, too, I suspect. For instance, I'd have no trouble going up to you and chatting, say, at a bar, out in public, etc. But in the gym? Probably not, because even after years of working out, I still have the mindset I had the first time I went - that I'm the scrawny wimp that the big muscley guys would take the time to talk to. Maybe that's this guy's issue.

    And by the way: I'd totally chat with you. Just remember, I may fork, but I never spoon. icon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif


    Weeee someone would actually talk to me icon_biggrin.gif hahaha
    But your pretty buff, hell I'm not even anywhere near the body that you are..

    Mate, we could fork all night icon_razz.gif

    Buckwheet saidSome things shall never change, and this is one of them. icon_lol.gif

    But they soooo totally should!
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    Dec 23, 2008 12:57 AM GMT
    I'm with you Tanker. Fuck trying to come up with logical reasons as to why he didn't hit on you. Ultimately, he didn't despite all the obvious clues you had given him.
    Fuck guys with no balls, not literally, because they'd be post/pre-op ftms, unless you're into that, then go for it, but I digress.

    Fuck em'!
    Rant on!
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    Dec 23, 2008 1:01 AM GMT
    Brady527 saidMe, I'm all about the unexpected approach. I'll say hey almost instantly to someone that I find attractive (no more than 30 seconds), however if I wait too long (couple minutes) I'll psych myself out of it. Gotta move quick before my mind gets too worked up. That's my strategy.

    What's your wait time lilTanker before you approach?


    Depends on the situation..
    At a party, if I'm not involved in a conversation I'll go over to them pretty soon, otherwise I'll wait for the opportunity to arrive, sometimes they get introduced to the circle so I'll end up filling them in, finding out there views, my mates generally know what I"m up to at that point so will help out.

    Out in public, depends again, but pretty much asap..

    In the gym, well, thats just if the chance arrives, then I'll talk to them, but I wont bother someone in the middle of a set, I just wait.

    I don't really get psyched out about it, I know what I'm gonna do and I just wait for the right moment to do it... I don't listen to the part of my head that tells me I'm gonna fail or that hes to hot for me or shit like that.