Cutting ties with a guy i have feelings for...help?

  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Mar 05, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    So ive been talking to this guy since nov 30th.We became close and i grew feelings for him.The problem is I want a relationship and he tells me he is too busy to be in one.Today i decided after all this time im not gonna continue to talk ( text or call) him anymore because its torture for me talking to a boy who isnt ready.But im second guessing my decision already..did i make the right decision?
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Mar 05, 2014 7:30 PM GMT
    The thing is i already told him im not gonna talk to him anymore this morning lol .Is it too late?
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    Mar 05, 2014 7:42 PM GMT
    Maybe cut all ties for a short period like a break and then talk again with just friendship in mind.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Mar 05, 2014 8:23 PM GMT
    Thom1993 saidMaybe cut all ties for a short period like a break and then talk again with just friendship in mind.
    Yea...maybe i should do that..hmm..
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    Mar 05, 2014 8:40 PM GMT
    I hate to be the one to say "He's just not that into you", but... he's just not that into you. No one is "too busy" to be in a relationship. Don't be surprised when you see him walking arm-in-arm with another guy, out of the clear blue.

    You can't wait around for him to be less busy, or for him to say "Hey, I'm a lot less busy now; I think we can make things official". You can't always get what you want.

    I dont know the details of your relationship with this person and I dont want to be presumptuous, but something tells me you weren't exactly comfortable with the dynamics. I think you know yourself better than we do; you did what you thought was necessary and you cut ties with him.

    Trust yourself and trust your instincts.
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    Mar 05, 2014 8:48 PM GMT
    Delete his number and message history from your phone, and block him on dating and social networking sites. Once it is impossible to contact him, it is very easy to keep your resolve.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Mar 05, 2014 9:14 PM GMT
    Rolfron saidI hate to be the one to say "He's just not that into you", but... he's just not that into you. No one is "too busy" to be in a relationship. Don't be surprised when you see him walking arm-in-arm with another guy, out of the clear blue.

    You can't wait around for him to be less busy, or for him to say "Hey, I'm a lot less busy now; I think we can make things official". You can't always get what you want.

    I dont know the details of your relationship with this person and I dont want to be presumptuous, but something tells me you weren't exactly comfortable with the dynamics. I think you know yourself better than we do; you did what you thought was necessary and you cut ties with him.

    Trust yourself and trust your instincts.
    Thanks for this because i needed this type of advice from SOMEONE.I agree with everything you said.
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:31 PM GMT
    Heard that I'm too busy line before. And why waste time with some boy? Maybe he's just too pollo merda to tell you he's not interested in you(: why torture yourself? You need to stick with trusting your instincts... Good riddance to cutting that mess loose...the last thing you need is some manchild playing games with you...
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    Mar 05, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    LoveAndPeace saidThe thing is i already told him im not gonna talk to him anymore...
    no big loss, i guess you wount be talking to him.
    just work to find another.
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    Mar 06, 2014 10:07 AM GMT
    I don't get it when people act like they have way too many friends and they want fewer friends. You guys get along, so you could be good friends...after you take a little time away to get over him.

    Maybe tell him that you'll be really busy for the next month or so (or whatever time you think you need to get over your feelings for him) and then you'll get in touch with him after that.

    *Really you should only do this if you can see yourself being friends with this guy with no ulterior motive. You really don't want to be wasting your time pretending to be friends with some guy when you're secretly lusting after someone who isn't interested in you romantically.
  • prapa123

    Posts: 25

    Mar 08, 2014 12:32 PM GMT
    Hey there,

    I get what you're going through mate.. I am in a similar situation.. It is harrowing and heartbreaking to know that the object of our affection doesn't want the same things as us..

    There is no real right or wrong way to go about it..As I always end up second guessing my decisions.. be it - I decide to talk or cut ties.. The tone of our conversations.. I keep over-interpreting his texts... I keep looking back at the old messages and keep wondering where did it all go wrong..

    But you know what, everyone is not in the same page as the other.. I've swallowed that bitter truth.. Sure, there are days I want to throw up, but after spending the last 2 months in absolute horror, I think its just a waste of time now.. If they don't want it, they don't.. No matter what you keep telling yourself..

    Try to find peace and letting go.. What helped for me (not that I'm completely over it yet) is I started keeping myself busy with various activities that keep my brain and body active and tired by the end of the day..

    You are no more the center of his universe as he is to you..

    Be real.. Be regular.. and I tell you, that I am hell-bent on helping myself get over this.. Was a great learning experience though icon_smile.gif

    So, yes, do inbox me if you feel the need to vent, as I always wanted (but didn't have) someone to vent/rant it out to.. I was afraid I am boring other people, or that people are not interested.. But its important to have a non-judgemental soundboard..

    Hope you get over it.. Whichever way the coin tosses mate icon_smile.gif

    And yes, hope I was useful
  • prapa123

    Posts: 25

    Mar 08, 2014 12:36 PM GMT
    I really wish that people learnt to say 'I'm not interested in you'.. Instead of saying 'I am too busy'.. Sure, it'll hurt.. But the agony of waiting is so frigging huge, while they are busy humping others..

    I mean, its insensitive as they have no idea what they're putting the other person through.. Its stifling.. hurtful.. painful.. and yet does not let us heal..

    We keep waiting like a doormat.. And they don't care and they just want you to stop troubling them more than anything else..

    Hope you find strength to move on mate..

    The sooner, the better
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    Mar 09, 2014 10:28 AM GMT
    He already sensed your neediness. Move on or stop talking to him for a while and let him make the first move again. You don't want to come across as too Desperate or Psycho.