Would you date a guy that has a profile that says he would consider mainly a certain ethnicity?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2014 1:03 AM GMT
    There is a guy I'm supposed to meet. But I just noticed he states that "I'm probably looking mainly for (certain ethnicity of) guys".

    So I am not that ethnicity but wondering if I should give it a chance since he expresses interest in meeting for dinner and dating. And how would you bring it up? Or would you think it is wasting time? I guess there could be a friendship possibility too.

    Well after multiple dates we found out that we are compatible and we like each other. My friends told me to give it a chance with him. First two dates were hard. Third was a charm. We had a really open honest discussion.
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    Mar 06, 2014 1:34 AM GMT
    give him a chance, maybe he has not updated his profile since the 90's
    have an exit plan if he were a racist.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Mar 06, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    Probably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.
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    Mar 06, 2014 8:39 AM GMT
    no
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2014 9:54 AM GMT
    Affirmative action for dating.
    I love it!

    If the date goes well, you can joke with him about it. If the date is bad, you have to bring it up.
  • rocketfish229

    Posts: 22

    Mar 06, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    I wouldn't do it. I've had that happen to myself a few times and I would always have the idea in the back of my mind that I was the second best choice. Kind of like a "he's cute so I guess he'll do until I get my first choice".
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    Mar 06, 2014 9:14 PM GMT
    You'd be surprised with how many guys with profiles that said "whites only" hit me up, or how many guys I've dated that have said that they only date other white guys.

    That said, yes, they have a certain stigma surrounding certain races and ethnicity, or they believe in certain inaccuracies. Guess what though? Everyone does; welcome to America (not to say that the rest of the world is that much less racist). The best we can do about that is teach and learn from one another.

    As far as your situation goes, perhaps this guy simply just has his preferences - and has chosen to look beyond them in noticing someone like you. I don't think that that's a good reason to exclude him all together. Maybe it'll turn out that he's found a new sweet spot that he never knew he had.
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    Mar 06, 2014 9:39 PM GMT
    I had a couple of guys who viewed my profile stated *this* in their profile too on OKC. Hm, I read through it and just evaluated the individual as a whole. I went out with a couple of guys in the past actually, it went well until the whole race thing came up. Long stories short, I never kept in touch with any of them because they came off as mean, rude and kinda racist. So, No I wouldn't meet anyone again who stated *they're into *specific race. They have to work out their own attitudes first before dating someone new. You're not responsible for changing their view. First dates in my opinion, you have to impress me and I'll do the same. I'm not going to give a chance to dudes who's too close-minded.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Mar 07, 2014 4:42 AM GMT
    bradomo said... But I just noticed he states that "I'm probably looking mainly for (certain ethnicity of) guys".


    LOL at the neutrality. When will this question ever be asked by anyone other than a non-white wondering about a "whites-only" profile?
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    Mar 07, 2014 10:58 AM GMT
    whytehot said
    bradomo said... But I just noticed he states that "I'm probably looking mainly for (certain ethnicity of) guys".


    LOL at the neutrality. When will this question ever be asked by anyone other than a non-white wondering about a "whites-only" profile?


    You haven't seen the countless profiles made by white bottoms requesting Black/Latin tops?
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    Mar 07, 2014 11:00 AM GMT
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    We all have preferences, nothing wrong with that (unless youre rude and racist abou it)
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    Mar 08, 2014 6:41 AM GMT
    bradomo saidThere is a guy I'm supposed to meet. But I just noticed he states that "I'm probably looking mainly for (certain ethnicity of) guys".

    So I am not that ethnicity but wondering if I should give it a chance since he expresses interest in meeting for dinner and dating. And how would you bring it up? Or would you think it is wasting time? I guess there could be a friendship possibility too.

    I suspect these types of guys have only been exposed to a certain subset of [ insert ethnicity ] guys. Usually the mainstream stereotypical ones. So when they come across a guy that doesn't fall into the stereotypes and shares some common interests, he might have a more open mind.

    Also, since you indicate that you're mixed, maybe he thinks you're of the ethnicity he's looking for?
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Mar 09, 2014 2:55 AM GMT
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.


    Pretty safe to say it's more of a gay thing. Kinda hard to ignore all the threads, studies and apparent documentaries on the subject lol. Plus, both the minorities I have dated - an Indian and an Asian - have at some point expressed amazement that I was even interested, even though we were in the same league imo.

    And quirky is a good thing lol, take it easy hah
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    Mar 09, 2014 2:59 AM GMT
    morphic saidno


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2014 3:33 AM GMT
    highforthis said
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.


    Pretty safe to say it's more of a gay thing. Kinda hard to ignore all the threads, studies and apparent documentaries on the subject lol. Plus, both the minorities I have dated - an Indian and an Asian - have at some point expressed amazement that I was even interested, even though we were in the same league imo.

    And quirky is a good thing lol, take it easy hah


    Yeah, that Indian and Asian guy don't represent all Indian/Asian guys. IMO someone would have to have pretty low standards to date you, don't think you're good-looking at all.

    And it is a western thing. How many women of color do you see in all those beauty polls, Askmen's Top 99 Most Desirable Women, FHM, etc., on Victoria's Secret and everything else? Very few. The majority of white guys date white women. Anyway, statistically there is a higher volume of interracial marriages in gay relationships than straight, so you're wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2014 3:56 AM GMT
    highforthis said
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.


    Pretty safe to say it's more of a gay thing. Kinda hard to ignore all the threads, studies and apparent documentaries on the subject lol. Plus, both the minorities I have dated - an Indian and an Asian - have at some point expressed amazement that I was even interested, even though we were in the same league imo.

    And quirky is a good thing lol, take it easy hah


    there's countless threads on all male forums made by ethnic men complaining that white girls don't want to date them. I've also seen threads made by ethnic girls complaining that all men - both white and ethnic - just want to date white women. You just haven't searched for them. These threads always attract the same group of people. Even on RJ you'll see that the race threads have the same ethnic gays and most of them are unattractive.

    Also, white men are more conventionally attractive than Asian men by western standards. So your Asian equivalent, a skinny, average-looking Asian guy (you being a skinny, average-looking white guy) would be considered unattractive by the majority and would prob express amazement at the idea that **anyone** wants to date him. I probably offended some people by saying this, but I think people know that it's the truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2014 5:57 AM GMT
    If a guy has to make a "yes or no" decision based on race then he's a pretty suckass guy. If he has a certain type of guy he favors that thats alright, as long as he's not rigid about it
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Mar 10, 2014 6:13 AM GMT
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis said
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.


    Pretty safe to say it's more of a gay thing. Kinda hard to ignore all the threads, studies and apparent documentaries on the subject lol. Plus, both the minorities I have dated - an Indian and an Asian - have at some point expressed amazement that I was even interested, even though we were in the same league imo.

    And quirky is a good thing lol, take it easy hah


    Yeah, that Indian and Asian guy don't represent all Indian/Asian guys. IMO someone would have to have pretty low standards to date you, don't think you're good-looking at all.

    And it is a western thing. How many women of color do you see in all those beauty polls, Askmen's Top 99 Most Desirable Women, FHM, etc., on Victoria's Secret and everything else? Very few. The majority of white guys date white women. Anyway, statistically there is a higher volume of interracial marriages in gay relationships than straight, so you're wrong.


    Iunno... I'd say with almost all the interracial gay couples I've I've seen, the white guy is noticeably less attractive, whereas I know and have seen a number of average-looking Asian guys dating attractive white girls. Even my straight friends have noticed this. As for the forumers here, sure the ugly ones probably wouldn't do well with or without racism, but there are hot minorities who complain bout it too.

    Dunno why my looks have anything to do with anything.
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    Mar 10, 2014 9:14 AM GMT
    highforthis said
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis said
    the_realz_dealz said
    highforthis saidProbably not. Depends on the preference... I have a friend who prefers indian guys, which I find kinda unusual and quirky. But if it's yet another gay who prefers white, I tend to assume it's just the clichéd mentality of someone's who's been in the scene for too long.


    I think it's funny how so many people act like this it's a gay thing. It's not. It's a western society thing.

    And why the fuck would you find that quirky? You're a dumbass.


    Pretty safe to say it's more of a gay thing. Kinda hard to ignore all the threads, studies and apparent documentaries on the subject lol. Plus, both the minorities I have dated - an Indian and an Asian - have at some point expressed amazement that I was even interested, even though we were in the same league imo.

    And quirky is a good thing lol, take it easy hah


    Yeah, that Indian and Asian guy don't represent all Indian/Asian guys. IMO someone would have to have pretty low standards to date you, don't think you're good-looking at all.

    And it is a western thing. How many women of color do you see in all those beauty polls, Askmen's Top 99 Most Desirable Women, FHM, etc., on Victoria's Secret and everything else? Very few. The majority of white guys date white women. Anyway, statistically there is a higher volume of interracial marriages in gay relationships than straight, so you're wrong.


    Iunno... I'd say with almost all the interracial gay couples I've I've seen, the white guy is noticeably less attractive, whereas I know and have seen a number of average-looking Asian guys dating attractive white girls. Even my straight friends have noticed this. As for the forumers here, sure the ugly ones probably wouldn't do well with or without racism, but there are hot minorities who complain bout it too.

    Dunno why my looks have anything to do with anything.


    Minorities complain about everything (for every minority who complains there are loads who aren't). There are hot white guys complaining about things too, like guys not liking their height, their eye color, their body, etc. Obviously they won't complain about being white (though many do complain about having white skin, LOL) because being white is basically the 'norm'. Same way that a man won't complain about being male.

    I regularly look at pics taken from gay clubs and I've seen loads of interracial couples white/ethnic both of average looks (which is the majority) or one slightly better looking than the other. When there's a big difference in looks, it's usually because the guy is old ($$$). So I don't agree with you.

    And I RARELY seen straight Asian men dating attractive white women, let alone dating outside of their race. So I completely disagree with you there too.

    You're just some lame-looking, waify white guy who's hoping that he can score a hot minority. Lol. Try and hook-up with a noticeably more attractive ethnic guy than yourself and take a picture of you two and post it here. I wish you the best but I doubt it's gonna happen.
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    Mar 10, 2014 11:48 AM GMT
    David3000 saidWe all have preferences, nothing wrong with that (unless youre rude and racist abou it)

    Quite possibly this, although I don't use electronics to find a date, if I did, I would have all sorts of limitations on the sorts of hairless, anorexic and non-english speaking types I'd be willing to date.
  • carew28

    Posts: 660

    Mar 10, 2014 7:35 PM GMT
    In the short run, looks has something to do with it. But in the long run, for most decent, intelligent guys, personality has more to do with it than looks. Looks are based upon physical appearance, and they do have a connection to ethnicity and race. I suppose for a superficial relationship, ethnicity and looks might be important. But in the long run, intelligent guys, of whatever ethnicity, seem to seek each other out. Same with the dumber guys. Once the lights are turned off, everyone looks the same, anyway, and good looks, although great at the beginning, get old pretty quickly. The only time you see an intelligent guy and a dumb guy together is when the dumb one is really good-looking, or has a lot of money.

    By the way, I like how it seems everyone on this thred takes it for granted that older guys automatically have plenty of money. I guess us older guys with no money are just plain out of luck.
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    Mar 11, 2014 11:05 AM GMT
    carew28 said
    By the way, I like how it seems everyone on this thred takes it for granted that older guys automatically have plenty of money. I guess us older guys with no money are just plain out of luck.


    Not necessarily plenty of money, but you have a steady income, stability, savings, etc. Well, you should, anyway. I've noticed that quite a few older gay men aren't even home owners still have flatmates...

    Anyway, here's another post giving a completely DIFFERENT perspective than highforthis.

    "Of course white men find black men attractive and like them... But there's definitely a certain type of white man that tends to like black men for the most part, and it seems to fall under 1)much older white men 2)white men that are not good looking. I am open to all types of men myself, but i tend to not date white men because for some reason or another, sexy white men don't really hit on me us, and when we hit on them they're not interested. I rarely see a black man and a white man together in the first place, but when I do see them together, it's always much older unattractive white man with hot blacks or unattractive whites men with hot black men. I do however see hot white men with mediocre white, Latin, middle eastern, and Asian. That's kinda just how it is but why do you care? Do you only like white men yourself and your complaining they don't like you? Don't get upset at someone for "not liking black guys" when your worrying about whether white men like you or not puts you in the same category c"

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/64448/?forumpage=11

    So obviously we're just going to get a bunch of contradictory opinions and experiences on this issue. It seems like a self-perpetuating stereotype.

    I suggest young minorities take everything that's said about this issue on this board with a pinch of salt. Most of the people who start these threads usually have an ulterior motive, a chip on their shoulder and are fugly as fuck. And the ones who complain the loudest are the biggest racists.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 12:09 PM GMT
    Yes if I am the ethnicity he is looking for
    No if I am not the ethnicity he is looking for
    Simple