Does dating multiple guys before going exclusive with one of them make you slut?

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    Mar 10, 2014 1:17 AM GMT
    What kind of activities can you do during this period? Kissing? Fuck?
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 10, 2014 1:59 AM GMT
    You're 31 years old and live in New York city and you're asking this question? Does not compute. What is it you want to know, exactly? Maybe some context would help?

    Obviously there are no rules except the ones you set for yourself. What matters is what slutty means to you, not what it means to anyone else. Obviously "dating" means going out with someone to have a good time and get to know them better. Does not necessarily mean "fucking" (although that is a possibility).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    "No" and "anything you want." The question is, do you really want to?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2014 2:06 AM GMT
    I'm sure there's a Beyonce song about this, right? icon_biggrin.gif
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Mar 10, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    Figure it out, you really don't know?
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Mar 10, 2014 2:12 AM GMT
    losing faith in humanity...
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    Mar 10, 2014 2:28 AM GMT
    No, and that's a workable strategy. About half a dozen is about all you should try to manage. As time goes by you can tell which one(s) are the least amiable and you can drop them. Then add in some replacements and keep at it. The acceptable activities are really up to you. You might want to use a spreadsheet to keep track of their pluses and minuses.
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    Mar 10, 2014 2:30 AM GMT
    Oh wait. Is this a humble-brag thread? icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 10, 2014 2:48 AM GMT
    Well to be in a relationship you have to meet new people and date first, that's for sure. What you do in these dates that's another story. For a serious relationship I personally prefer someone who is not quick to take off their pants. But that's me.
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    Mar 10, 2014 8:39 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidNo, and that's a workable strategy. About half a dozen is about all you should try to manage. As time goes by you can tell which one(s) are the least amiable and you can drop them. Then add in some replacements and keep at it. The acceptable activities are really up to you. You might want to use a spreadsheet to keep track of their pluses and minuses.


    Keep the rich ones around as long as you can. If you are going off them, just tell them to buy you more diamonds.
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    Mar 10, 2014 10:32 AM GMT
    No, Dating is just that. In my opinion, dating is non-sex for the first 4-5 dates anyway. Once you get down to the sheet, it's getting more serious into a relationship type. Yes, the guy can woo you and dine you. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 10, 2014 12:01 PM GMT
    no, though I wouldn't bite more then I can chew.
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    Mar 10, 2014 12:08 PM GMT
    deepblueocean saidWhat kind of activities can you do during this period? Kissing? Fuck?

    Many of these terms are ill-defined, and mean different things to different people. So I'll just give you my (slightly tongue in cheek) definitions:

    to date: spending planned time with a guy, of a generally romantic nature. Kissing & sex occurs as soon as it feels right, which for me was often the first date. Having dates with different guys in rapid succession is OK. Ex: "I had a date with him last night, went better than my date with Bill two days ago".

    dating: having regular dates with the same guy over a period of time, but not necessarily a monogamous arrangement. Prelude to becoming boyfriends. Ex: "We've been dating for a month now".

    multiple dating: having regular dates with several men at the same time. Less common than single dating, with the other men frequently objecting if they become aware of it. Ex: "I'm dating these two guys right now, but I've got to keep them in the dark about the other".

    pick-ups/tricks: unplanned encounters that usually result in sex. Happen at bars & clubs, parties, other activities. May lead to follow-up dates. Can be a daily routine if willing men are available, a pattern that most often earns the title of "slut". Ex: "I took an out-of-town trick back to my place for sex last night, doubt I'll see him again".
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    Mar 10, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    socalx10 saidNo, Dating is just that. In my opinion, dating is non-sex for the first 4-5 dates anyway. Once you get down to the sheet, it's getting more serious into a relationship type. Yes, the guy can woo you and dine you. icon_biggrin.gif

    Nice reply. The whole reason for dating is to get to know someone. Dating multiple guys does not make you a slut, even if you're banging them all. I'm not sure it's wise but I definitely agree with socalx10 that keeping the first 3, 4 or 5 dates without sex allows you to concentrate on actually getting to know someone. It's a great discipline to have, if they're willing to wait, then they may just be a keeper!
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    Mar 10, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    I date multiple guys all the time, but nothing physical ever begins until all but one option has been eliminated.

    If you were in a position where if you caught, say a yeast infection from a blowjob, and couldn't tell know which guy it was, then yeah you are a slut.
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    Mar 11, 2014 12:28 AM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidI date multiple guys all the time, but nothing physical ever begins until all but one option has been eliminated.

    If you were in a position where if you caught, say a yeast infection from a blowjob, and couldn't tell know which guy it was, then yeah you are a slut.


    ah...
    flashback to the Crab infestation at Kent State, circa 97--could have pulled it off too, had I been enrolled there and not Akron.
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    Mar 11, 2014 2:55 AM GMT
    Ohno said
    Lumpyoatmeal saidNo, and that's a workable strategy. About half a dozen is about all you should try to manage. As time goes by you can tell which one(s) are the least amiable and you can drop them. Then add in some replacements and keep at it. The acceptable activities are really up to you. You might want to use a spreadsheet to keep track of their pluses and minuses.


    Keep the rich ones around as long as you can. If you are going off them, just tell them to buy you more diamonds.


    Lol, because diamonds are forever and a gay boy's best friend. icon_lol.gificon_redface.gificon_razz.gif
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    Mar 11, 2014 6:42 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    socalx10 saidNo, Dating is just that. In my opinion, dating is non-sex for the first 4-5 dates anyway. Once you get down to the sheet, it's getting more serious into a relationship type. Yes, the guy can woo you and dine you. icon_biggrin.gif

    Nice reply. The whole reason for dating is to get to know someone. Dating multiple guys does not make you a slut, even if you're banging them all. I'm not sure it's wise but I definitely agree with socalx10 that keeping the first 3, 4 or 5 dates without sex allows you to concentrate on actually getting to know someone. It's a great discipline to have, if they're willing to wait, then they may just be a keeper!


    Why thanks buddy for the boost! To make a long answer short from me and Ebguy. No man is going to want to marry you or take you seriously if you give *it* up in the first 2-3 dates. Lol, History has shown all gay and straight men acted the same like this. So keep in your pant unless you just want a hook up or him thinking you're a hoe.icon_redface.gif

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    Mar 11, 2014 12:14 PM GMT
    No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 7:09 PM GMT
    Ohno said
    Lumpyoatmeal saidNo, and that's a workable strategy. About half a dozen is about all you should try to manage. As time goes by you can tell which one(s) are the least amiable and you can drop them. Then add in some replacements and keep at it. The acceptable activities are really up to you. You might want to use a spreadsheet to keep track of their pluses and minuses.

    Keep the rich ones around as long as you can. If you are going off them, just tell them to buy you more diamonds.

    Sheesh, I'm so embarrassed that I overlooked the remunerative aspect.