Really want to date my sisters best mate but it's complicated :(

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:35 AM GMT
    Pros
    - He's a good friend of the family so I know they'll like him.
    - He is gay and has been nice to me all the years I've known him.
    - He is really nice, he's good looking and mature for his age.
    - He isn't a hook up kinda guy so I don't think he'd cheat.
    - We've known each other since I was a teenager so we're already friends which might make it easier.

    Cons
    - I don't know if he likes me like that.
    - I don't know if my sister would be happy to share her best mate.
    - He set me up with my ex and he is friends with my ex so it's likely he knows I've been sleeping my ex since we split and has likely heard from my ex I'm not very good in bed because he told all of his mates that.
    - If we dated would he discuss our relationship with my sister because that would be awkward.
    - I've never met any of his exs so I don't know his type.

    How would RJ people approach this as in like how should I bring it up? Should I do it by text, email or just hang out and kinda drop hints? Or based on the pros and cons above should I forget it all together?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    Has he ever given you any indication he's romantically interested in you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:50 AM GMT
    No but then again maybe he did and I didn't notice. That's why it's complicated icon_sad.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 11, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    If he likes you and you like him, then it nullifies your entire con list. But you'll never know unless you ask him. If nothing else you will most likely still be good friends. icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:56 AM GMT
    Maybe drop some hints but from what you've said here, it sounds like it's one-sided.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:58 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidMaybe drop some hints but from what you've said here, it sounds like it's one-sided.

    How has that come across? I only mentioned I don't know if he likes me or not.
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    Mar 11, 2014 4:11 AM GMT
    Because I think if he was interested in you, you would know it. That's why it sounds one-sided.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 4:25 AM GMT
    Thanks for your honesty icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 1:49 PM GMT
    directly or indirectly ask your sister if you can date him but only after you completely get rid of your X
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Mar 11, 2014 3:35 PM GMT
    Stop sleeping with your ex.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    I don't do it often but I know I shouldn't do it at all. It's easier said than done though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:44 PM GMT
    The truth is he probably slept with your ex before introduce to you,so don't worry and ask him for a drink if you don't mind.The place to meet is....STARBUCK.lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 3:46 PM GMT
    I wouldn't start with any litsts before I know he is into me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 6:58 PM GMT
    If you really love him, then don't waste time. ..... and think about your sisters. .... First move on from your ex..... you have already note that he is not interested in hook ups. ... so first of all, you need to make him believe in you .... and don't act without planning. .... if you need any more help. ... feel free to ask. ....
    Bcz once I had faced the same problem. ... ànd I lost because of pure madness. ....
    icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2014 7:09 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidIf he likes you and you like him, then it nullifies your entire con list. But you'll never know unless you ask him. If nothing else you will most likely still be good friends. icon_smile.gif


    +1.
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    Mar 11, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    Not sure about love. That's too heavy. I just know he'll be kinder than my ex is in a relationship. I've liked him for a long time but because he's known me since I was about 13 I think it's good I'm thinking about it now I'm 20 because obviously I'm a totally different person now. If I said something when I was about 16 or whatever I'd have likely freaked him out lol
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    Mar 11, 2014 8:06 PM GMT
    Alcohol
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Mar 11, 2014 8:21 PM GMT
    Ohno saidAlcohol



    and sharing a bed
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    Mar 11, 2014 8:27 PM GMT
    Parable said
    Ohno saidAlcohol



    and sharing a bed


    There's going to be none of that funny business lol.
  • Babyoil

    Posts: 31

    Mar 12, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    Ohno saidAlcohol


    definitely bring on the booz, it´ll help loosen up the tension and if you get rejected you´ll be having to much fun to care!
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    Mar 12, 2014 12:38 AM GMT
    Babyoil said
    Ohno saidAlcohol


    definitely bring on the booz, it´ll help loosen up the tension and if you get rejected you´ll be having to much fun to care!


    Plus: "I can't believe I was flirting with you at one point, I must have been really drunk! No offence".

    Such a great loophole.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    Check with your sister,that way you've covered the most important aspect, family first. If she and he are buds she's going to know his taste and whether she thinks its a good idea
  • Babyoil

    Posts: 31

    Mar 12, 2014 1:19 AM GMT
    now that we are on the topic: gay, alcohol etc. Have any of you guys heard about the books "cooking with cum" and "semenology". There cook books where human semen is used as the main ingredient.

    I know that it sounds nasty and I´m no cum connoisseur myself, but some of the drinks´names in "Semonology" are really creative: Splasherita, Galleano cumshot and macho mojito. Apparently adding 1-2 tbs of cum should spice up any food or beverage. I don´t want to disgust anyone but the macho mojito looks really yummy, i hope that there is another creamy substance that one could use instead.

    728637.jpg
  • Babyoil

    Posts: 31

    Mar 12, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    Not to take focus from the OP´s question.

    You should go for it, worst than being rejected is never knowing
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 12, 2014 1:44 AM GMT
    Quit the hand wringing and forget about dropping hints. Find something to do with him--going for coffee, taking a hike, watching a ball game, etc.--and see how it goes.

    Frankly, I think it is a bad idea to be going after your sister's friend. Too close to the nest. She could very reasonably see you as taking away and important friendship.