bxp011 saidI just noticed that I have been posting in RJ since 2009.
The odd thing is, I don't think I really know anyone that well on here.
Is there a tight community of people here?
Is there a bigger community of people who have been posting a little bit here and there for a long time (like me).
I feel like I used Chat rooms and forums when I was in the closet to talk to people who were similar to me. Maybe because I have surrounded myself with caring and accepting people who know who I really am, I don't have the need to be in Chat rooms all the time.
I do enjoy reading the gay news/news that goes on through here though.
You're not alone. I've been on here for a while, but for me it began with AOL in 1996. Even though I came out at 15, I never felt comfortable at the bars, or gay groups, or coffee shops or other gay real-life events, because there were so many rude, judgmental, overly dressed and basically unpleasant guys there. However, the one thing they had in common with me is that they were gay and out in public. But that's where it ended. Online, you have to remember that (I'm guessing here) about 60% of these guys are either not out at all, married/engaged/involved with women, or have come out but saw how badly the gay community treated them that they gave up trying to socialize with gay guys ever again, and a conversation on here is as good as it gets. All this feelgood crap about gay marriage yet most of us don't even know where, how or when to approach another gay guy to get to know better.
Our problem, as I've mentioned before, is that we make up such a small percentage of the male population. And we forget that, yes, while there may be a lot of gay people in certain cities, there has to be more than just 'gay' to make a relationship or friendship work between two men. When you factor in location, mutual attraction/interests, age, sexual preferences, style, you could be waiting 20 years before you meet someone. And I think that's why most of what develops on here doesn't last. We say too much about what we're looking for and the 'right guy' just presents himself as that to you, and within about 3-6 months you realize he's not who he says he is. It's really frustrating.
And no, things have not gotten better since 1996. We are still anonymous, closeted men are still marrying women with no intentions whatsoever of coming out, and the only thing that's noticeably different is that gay guys don't cruise adult bookstores or bars anymore since the internet has captured the majority of that audience.