What Are Guys Looking For??

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Mar 14, 2014 6:55 AM GMT
    I have gotten this a few times-
    "We just didn't connect" and "I didn't feel anything, etc, etc" icon_rolleyes.gif

    I understand and have felt 0 connection with someone I have met in terms of any type of relationship but that is rare. I can at least look at someone and say they can be a friend that I can keep in contact with and not never speak to them again

    So what's with guys expecting to feel some magic connection and first love at site, etc on a first date? I am a hopeless romantic and everything but I don't even expect that. I thought I was doing something wrong but apparently guys are NOT looking for friends. It's ALL BS really

    At least I am honest enough to say it rather than disappear with no explanation.
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    Mar 14, 2014 9:03 AM GMT
    Apparently, tops are looking for bottoms. And vice versa. Everything else is secondary. icon_confused.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Mar 15, 2014 3:14 AM GMT
    Everyone seems to be looking for Superman.

    I blame indie films along with romantic comedies, pornography and fairytales for giving people unrealistic expectations. In terms of looks everyone is looking for a guy with the body of a greek god - in not very many shade variations I might add. And in terms of personality if two people don't instantly click nowadays and fall in love within the first two hours at the bar it isn't going to happen.

    A lot of guys claim that they are just looking for a good guy and the rest is secondary. This is completely untrue. If all the good guys out there are just looking for other good guys there would be about 12x the amount of happy couples out there. Even with the maze of sexual position being added to the equation it still doesn't add up. Simply put I think a lot of guys get an idea of what their dream guy will be like and become very single-minded in their pursuits.

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    Mar 15, 2014 3:35 AM GMT
    I am looking for a nice guy,

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2014 6:02 PM GMT
    if your not ready for a relationship, you have not spent the time to think through exactly what in a partner you really need, generally you say; "That that MAGICAL connection was just not there.".

    if a man is not sure where he wants his life to go it would be difficult to be the confidant husband.

    either case enjoy the single life. It has a lot to offer compared to a messed up relationship you just dont want.

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    Mar 16, 2014 8:05 PM GMT
    It really depends.

    I have been on dates with people whom I've had no romantic connection with but clicked pretty well with in the context of a friendship, so it became just that. I have also been on dates with people whom I've had no romantic connection with... and would rather just cut things off with - with no hard feelings.

    The truth is that some guys work out and some guys dont. It just works sometimes and the energy is spot on. You laugh at each others jokes, you make frequent eye contact, you share empathy with each other, you have a good rapport - when most of/ all of these things happen almost instantaneously and effortlessly, you're off to a good start. This may be the "magical connection" you're referring to.

    I think when it comes down to it, guys want a guy that they can have fun with. They want someone that they can imagine jumping effortlessly into their lives and vice versa. If they can't imagine a future with you, getting to that second date is going to be awfully difficult.

    It sounds like you're trying a little bit too hard to force something that should just happen all on it's own. It also sounds like you've had a couple of bad experiences with guys - and all I can say is, that's guys. You're going to go through many bad apples until you finally find one worth holding onto, and even then, it's not even guaranteed to work out.

    That's just life, I guess. I say relax, take a step back and enjoy things for what they are. Eventually, you'll find something good (or maybe it'll even find you).
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    Mar 16, 2014 11:32 PM GMT
    Could it be maybe that you are attracted to assholes ? You consistently report negative interactions with men. obviously you are hot and I'm sure you have no shortage of men trying to talk to you, maybe you arent paying attention to the ones who ACTUALLY have feelings in reference to you
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    Mar 18, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    I haven't read any of the other replies, but I'd say that if you're dating or trying to date, it's good to stand out from the rest of guys. I have talked to guys online and then got bored, not because they might be interesting people, but because they don't really show anything that might make me go "oh wow, this guy is interesting/cool/a potentially good mate" in the first (or second) chat. That sounds a little weird and some might say you shouldn't have to try so hard, but well, with dating, you must remember you are not the only guy out there and that first impressions set an image of what your personality might be like.

    This goes mostly for talking online but also applies to meeting in real life and then dating. What sets you apart from other guys that is attractive? Remember this when trying to date, and good luck icon_smile.gif
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1855

    Mar 18, 2014 7:18 AM GMT
    Maybe men are animals. Predators (tops) go after the tastiest looking morsels(bottoms) that are lean with hardly any fat. Some are beyond reach while others are obtainable. Then you got the middle of the chain (versatiles). Sometimes they prey on the morsels, sometimes they are preyed and often try to eat one another.
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    Mar 18, 2014 8:26 AM GMT
    I crave stability, kindness, cute face, average, good body, good guy mentality and sexual chemistry in the bedroom.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1855

    Mar 19, 2014 6:54 AM GMT
    Actually I don't know about my analogy. Who knows what they want? I don't. For many it seems they want better than what they are.