Nearon saidSometimes I can't speak at all when people try and talk to me, but I'm comfortable talking to others. I do have severe social anxiety but I have these spells where someone can ask me something, engage in small talk etc. and I clam up and get super-nervous. I cannot explain it...
I had it until my 20s, and am really still basically shy today, and can go virtually mute in some circumstances with strangers who intimidate me. Though fewer do with each passing year.
I was so shy (how shy WERE you? - old comedy line) that I couldn't even pronounce my own name. When I had to introduce myself I could barely speak, and would mumble "Robert" as "Robber".
People would ridicule me: "You say you're a robber? Like a thief?" And then I'd be unable to speak at all. It's a reason I started calling myself Bob, because I couldn't mispronounce it.
What changed me was the US Army. I found myself in positions where I had to speak to groups in public. It was my job, so I forced myself to do it, my duty if you will, an order that couldn't be disobeyed. But I still wasn't good 1/1.
Later I became an Officer, with all kinds of glad-handing social obligations. Once again I forced myself, because my career depended on it. Plus naturally I had to stand in front of my troops and be forceful and in charge. Over time it became easier and more natural for me.
So for me it was motivation, and determination. I was able to "go against type" because I was made to.
You can do it, too, we all can. But you may be lacking the compulsory incentives, as I had. Minus that, consider college courses in public speaking, as I took. If you can speak in public you can speak in almost any situation.
Does having a wing man along help you? A kind of social bicycle training wheels, until you gain your balance and can take them off. Do that.
If your problem is more serious there are professionals who can work with you. But your issue is resolvable, be certain of that. Good luck!